Sounds like some good progress. I wish I were in your shoes man. You are doing a great job and she is responding well. Remember, dont push her, she will just pull back. It sounds like you have figured this out already. I'm really excited for you!
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
I personally think you're at a key potential turning point with your wife. I will defer to GB to guide you, but will be following along as well. Your wife is displaying a lot of the classic signs that I see just before reconciliation.
WhyUs, Thanks for checking in. Nothing really to report. My STBX has been working for the past few days and I had the kids all weekend.
The kids and I had an awesome time. We had multiple things planned for both Saturday and Sunday. I was active on Instagram all weekend, posting pics of the kids and I having a blast. STBX "liked" every pic and really enjoyed the video I posted on Sunday. I have one more night with the kids and then I have the next two nights to myself.
Interactions with STBX have been standard and limited to saying goodnight to the kids. However, she was excited to tell me on Friday night that she got approved for a home loan. So there's that...
Just going on about my life, treasuring the moments with my kids, trying hard to limit my expectations.
How was your weekend?
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
My weekend was good. I had the kids as well. We visited my family and went to the beach. I still have not had any contact with my WW. Your D papers were served the same day as mine. However, the A started about 2.5 months later your WW's. My WW moved out 2 days before serving me papers. Maybe in 2 months I will start hearing from the WW. Who knows...
I'm starting to feel angry for some reason. Previously I felt sad. I am guessing this is part of the process.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Quick journaling; Been a solid couple of days. No R talk from STBX since Friday. Interactions have been business-like. Yesterday, STBX, along with the kids and MIL, went house shopping. This action combined with filling out my financial affidavit discourages me a bit.
Then, I think about my journey thus far and my needs in a R. I deserve respect and honesty. If STBX won't or can't satisfy these needs, then D is the best option for both of us. I know I will be ok and this brings me hope.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
D, you have continued to show strength in all of this.
We are all here for you, rooting for defacto
Z, thanks for checking up on my sitch and sending some support my way!
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Journaling: I missed a call from STBX and I decided to call her back. She proceeded to tell me how she is going to look at houses again today. I respond with, "Oh cool, good luck."
She then states that she doesn't have enough money for a down payment and complains about not having access to the joint accounts. She said that she thought I was a higher class of person than this and can't believe that I would change all of the passwords to the bank accounts. I remained calm and responded that it is really out of my hands and I'm sure the L's could work out something in the settlement, etc.
STBX complains about wearing out her welcome and running out of room for her and the kids at her parents house. I empathize briefly and then change the subject to the kids. I say hello to the kids and then wish her good luck today.
I am no longer in denial about the D. It is happening. I have accepted it as reality. I see brief glimpses of STBX being conflicted about it but then it just disappears. I find it odd that she still asks about my plans but I'm sure that's just misguided curiosity. I don't think asking her to lunch or talking to her on the phone about her day will change her motivations right now. She clearly doesn't want to be with me. And I don't want to settle and be with someone who disrespects me either. We are strangers to each other. My life is not over, far from it.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
So what's the plan now D? I've been feeling exactly the same way although I must admit your interactions with your WW are way better than mine. I'm as dim as I can be with her and the few times we've met have been pretty short in duration although she is displaying less anger these days.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
