No - I don't trust it, and I am right not to. All my xh wants is to be rehabilitated into the family without really doing other than saying sssry if he has to.
He wants to feel good about himself. I would say it is a partial awakening, he doesn't like what he sees and wants reassurance from his family that all is OK.
He is less mean, but he still doesn't get it. Iam lite but he not my 'friend'.
Bea, I'm truly sorry he's not working on himself and is just giving lip service these days. It's a shame because he lost so much and had a good family that would have stood by him through thick and thin.
I wanted to just give you an update on Rip Van Winkle. He's been mia since October 1, 2014. I've not heard a peep out of him. His home sold June 26th and I can only guess that he might be relocating back to where he was originally from. Like you, I wish him well and hope that some day he will find that illusive happiness he has so desperately been seeking for many years.
Bea, I admire the way that you've handled your situation. You are a lady of great dignity and grace and have been a wonderful example of how you have carried on w/your life. My hat's off to you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, thank you for stopping by, and your kind words. I have been such a mess throughout so much of this. We all deal with it in our own way, and the rejection is tough. Perhaps the hardest of all for me.
We had lunch together with my middle son on Saturday, and afterwards I wrote and thanked him for lunch (he paid) and explained nicely that it doesn't work for me meeting up like this. It was a friendly email, and kind.
Anyway, if he 'got it' he would have replied, saying he understood, and was sorry that was how it was, or some such. As it is I have heard nothing. The silence is powerful.
He has 'improved' to the point that he doesn't come back with angry and controlling bluster, but anyone emotionally normal would have said something.
As for your RVP - what can I say? They are emotional idiots.
To anyone here struggling with MLC -there are definitely degrees. It is always painful, and some MLCers come through. But it is OK to feel awful - just try, for your own sake not to stay in the awfulness. There is a world out there full of nice people.
Bea, You are always a lady of grace and dignity. I'm sure your email was very kind and appreciative of him paying for the meal, but I'm sure he didn't want to hear that it wasn't working for you. He's going to have to take some time to digest that bit of news and then he'll respond (again). I might be wrong, but he's going to try something different next time to get you to spend more time around/with him.
Oh, I agree w/you completely that they are emotional idiots. The things that they say and do and how they go about destroying careers, relationships, etc. is just unbelievable. Some do come through it and go on to lead happy and fulfilling lives.
I also agree w/you on the degrees of MLC. We have seen a few different degrees of MLC here over the years and you are absolutely correct in stating it's okay to feel awful, but try not to remain that way for a very long period of time. No one wants to remain "stuck". Life is far too short to stay in the rabbit hole. The world is out there waiting w/open arms to show you that there is life after MLC and there are many kind and wonderful people out there just waiting to welcome you into their lives.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He's going to have to take some time to digest that bit of news and then he'll respond (again). I might be wrong, but he's going to try something different next time to get you to spend more time around/with him.
Well, you aren't usually wrong. For now I will enjoy the peace.
I love reading your posts. That was nice about the lunch and you are wise to be cautious. Some of these MLC peeps are a different breed and worthy of a show on the Discovery Channel.
Job said it wonderfully so I don't have much more to add other than your h sounds like a fool for giving up all that he had. You are a smart, funny lady who clearly loves her family. Keep living a good life:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
