The relatity of what's happened and how fast. I'm wobbling about the what if I'm worried about cheating (not me) and not sure why. I am cruising and things are good, bf just helps out and does cooking, shopping and cleaning. Bf work is going ok. Interstate bestie saying it's time for shared stuff.
Xh2 bestie who seems to have been spreading nasty stuff about s17 seems to be having trouble finding work and in walking making me think he's got another bad health spurt happening.
My works busy as I'm doing a second one atm.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Omg, after many months in the early stages of thinking things would never change and that things just were and that was that, now I'm starting to realise getting things started Ai the hardest.
Moving that first steps are the hardest. S17 had a moment today in which I'm a proud mummy!
He's been doing stuff with his mates to earn extra $'s and it seems my thought on the the wood gathering was right they were taking s17 for a big fat row. S17 has given them chances and he's solved it and stopped them In their tracks. He set a Limit and enforced it.
Shows he working things out, he been watching what's happened in this last year and the limits set down on him.
He's done good! I think I've learnt soooooo much just hangin out round here.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
By Johann hari about addictions and how to over come them... It's food for thought.
I don't think I will be allowed to post a link but it googles.
Also watched another on duality. By a gay lady about when to let things go for the greater good. It had a frozen theme and boy it made sense about how I feel atm. It makes me ponder how I can feel so conected to bf and yet scared to death... So I'm not sure what she talks about is totally gay related issues, I think humans of all genders and sexualities have the same feelings.
Worth some. Discussions t some Point but some of my other discussion peeps have gone and gotten busy... Like edz...
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I watched the Ted talk, generally though although I agree there is one area I don't agree on when you are dealing with an ab-user there are deep issues to address and providing more love and more security to them will increase the ab-use.
If an addict is self harming only there may be some truth, but deep loving of someone who has multiple As does not seem the right thing to me.
His strategy worked to get me away from my drug of choice WH that and complete withdrawal.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
You can protect your self tho it was interesting as it talks about people with compulsive behaivours need more connection to feel more connected.
How much of that feelling more connected comes from the outside? How much should come from the inside? How can one provided that without comporisming them self and leave your self open to abusers?
All intriguing thoughts to process, as it's why xh2 decided he loved his soul mate. That extordinary drug rush addiction of a new r. That big connection he felt, the one he felt we never had the one he stated he needed a above all else.
I'm doing well. Several close friends are pushing the marriage barrow towards bf. This I find a struggle it's far too soon to make such huge life changing decisions.
I'm still not sure what I want on that score, this might be better tho once settlement happens and it's being dragged out by xh2 and my L. They all move at a very slow pace. I'm considering court as there are plenty of grey areas and h is disputing the length of time as he is stating the holidays he consistentantly went on were all times we were separated so perhaps a judge ruling is what's needed.
It's just shown how silly and trusting I was for so long and how taken in when it shows xh2 really had no intents of staying round. It shows how little store I put in his actions as the words muddied those waters so easily.
And really there are no answers, it's the same circle for the same ending which I really need to get off.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Did I read that right? You friends are talking about marriage to bf already?
Things may be going great but that just sounds foolhardy to me. Besides if you send the rest if your lives together, why rush?
Unfortunately I don't think you can fully protect yourself from abusers, to live you gave to be open and to take that risk and there us always a chance that you'll get hurt (whether by accident or by abuse) but the alternative us to close ourselves off - and that's not much fun either.
Hope you're having a good day
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
