Wonka, your ugly thoughts were much nicer than MY ugly thoughts...
I don't know if there is much I can DO right now that would make the OW jealous. I think my mere existence in the W's life is all it takes for her to be slightly threatened... but only slightly, because they are so much "in love." OW just wants me gone, and is coaching my W through the dissolution process. In the moment, it looks like she's winning big time. But as you and Cali have pointed out, it's a long game, and the battle has only just begun. I just need to play the game well.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Believe me...there's plenty that's making the OW jealous. The mere presence in W's life is certainly making things decidedly unpleasant for the OW thus she becomes more bitchy to W. Good! The more bitchy the OW about you being around W, the more she'll push W away.
Of course...what did you expect? OW/OMs want the LBS totally out of the picture because having you in it is a huge fly in their soup.
Matt and Wonka... yes... I've got the BEST coaches.
Patience... I just have to trust the OW will self destruct. I will get out of the picture, just enough for her to do that. But I'll remain the lighthouse in the distance. My W knows I'll be there.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Great... now I discover, after a bit of a heated conversation on the phone, that my W has read all my Skype messages to my best friend and my mom. I shouldn't be surprised as this isn't the worst breach of trust, right? But... wow. Now she has "intel" I wish she didn't have.
Long view, long view... I have to take the long view. Because she is not someone I even remotely want right now.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Great... now I discover, after a bit of a heated conversation on the phone, that my W has read all my Skype messages to my best friend and my mom. I shouldn't be surprised as this isn't the worst breach of trust, right? But... wow. Now she has "intel" I wish she didn't have.
Long view, long view... I have to take the long view. Because she is not someone I even remotely want right now.
Ok ... stinks she has intel. Sure .... however .. again look at this from the outside.
Why would anyone hell bent on wanting out of the M and want D snoop and real ALL your skype messages? I get why we snoop .. but she is gone, in love with OW, why would it matter what you say or do>?
Just a seed Dif ... let it go and go about your day like nothing has changed .. because it hasn't ... what she discovered is what she discovered, spilled milk ... Keep on your path.
Yep, zero mention of DB. Although she'd have no idea what that is even if I had mentioned it. From our conversation tonight, I see that mostly she is concerned about the fact that I have people praying for her, and that people think she's "off her rocker." Which she is. So... okay.
Spilled milk. Staying on my path.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Diff, might be time you start separating accounts and changing logins. You shouldn't be reading her emails and she shouldn't have access to your skype, its just going to keep hurting you. You seen how it effected you after you read more about OW. You became disgusted with W and has a backslide shortly after.
You can see some instances of how W still has feelings for you through her actions. Physical Touch and reading your conversations, yet she doesn't care for you anymore? BS, shes still in there somewhere. We just don't know if they will ever come out.
Unfortunately those feelings are buried under the chit that OW is providing her, they cant escape until OW is gone. OW will be gone, you have seen issues with that already. Its only a matter of time before it self destructs as almost every other A does. The more you read that email the more it will corrupt your mind against W, which will hurt you later on.
Also, this may or may not be true but she may know you can read that shared email and is planting those emails to mess with your head, catch you off guard and make you react. Much easier for her to keep doing this when your resisting and being that enemy. Its still likely shes just so far in the fog she doesn't think about it, but you never know.
At the very minimum you need to lock up your own accounts so she cant see what you're doing. Think about how much ammo this site would give her and OW to talk chit about you, even bond more against what they see as the common enemy. Leave them to their chaos so W can realize who the true enemy was(OW).
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
