I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they generally do get worse before things finally start to settle down.
I wish your wife luck in finding someone who will meet her needs and she's got lots of money and is offering benefits that will attract someone that is willing to go all out, she's going to have a difficult time finding someone.
It's unfortunate it is all about her and not what your son needs or the relationship he's developed with is carer. Such a shame.
I'm sorry this is happening.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Does your son have an advocate or guardian ad litem?
Sounds like he could use an objective person speaking up for his rights. I'm not sure what your son's special needs are, but I'd reach out to some organizations to see if you can find him someone to speak up to keep his current caretaker in place.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Thanks for the words Job :)not sure things will ever settle down with W....incredibly frustrating! I guess it will be incredibly difficult to get someone new. Especially seeing carer is govt funded and there is limited money available. We are extremely fortunate to have this carer. She genuinely treats him like a S and he loves spending time with her. More importantly I feel completely at ease when he is with her.
LoisB - there is no one for S other than me to speak up for him to W. W has systematically alienated most of the support networks with aggressive behaviour to people and organisations that only try and do their best. It is one of the main traits of her MLC.....that everyone is trying to get one over on her (mainly me) and her new self over compensates. However, I will research as you suggest.
Part of me thinks this is W way of getting back at me because I would not have S an extra week in summer because she wanted a 2 week vacation with OM.
I have also wondered if she is trying to get a reaction out of me. Same with the FB deleting me then adding me back etc. Then the new profile pick with OM almost straight away from adding me on there again. I have been quietly carrying on with my own life and doing my best to avoid W antics and have wondered if all this is part of some way to get me to notice her more.
It is also why I think she has u-turned re the D settlement and the fact that I initiated D in the end. I took control of the sitch and she didn't like it. U-turning on the financial settlement is her way of trying to regain control over the sitch. But all that is way too much mind reading on my part so I need to stay off that if I can help it.
I can't see anything happening fast with a new carer so will speak to W properly about it in the next week when I have got over the frustration of her actions. One thing I have learned in this process is not to react, take the information in, process it and then prepare my words carefully when I speak to W. In fact I try and anticipate situations and rehearse my responses every week when I pick up S. However, a few things still catch me off guard
Thanks for all the support you have given me in my sitch.
You may want to consider contacting your S's school and making sure you are on the email list for all upcoming school events. This way you are not dependent on W to inform you. (Just a thought given school fair.)
It is challenging to co-parent with an MLCer.
I am sorry to hear your wife made such a hairpin turn with all these proceedings.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Thanks for the advice. I will contact school like you suggest.
To be fair to W in the past she has done a good job of keeping me updated and co-parenting has been okay. However, these last few weeks/months her behaviour has taken a big turn for the worse, more erratic, more manipulative and the selfish side is reaching a new level.
I am feeling better re D after a long conversation with solicitor yesterday. I am coming to terms with the fact that this is just another setback and nothing more. I will get through it like I always do
