Just an update. He has been showing me his phone and I've been randomly "checking" it also. The defensiveness on his side has lessened a lot. Our counselor said to positively reinforce him when he is more open and transparent and so I have thanked him for being more transparent and open to me. It is a start. I hope it continues. I don't want to have my old marriage. I want a new one where we both have improved. A couple of weeks ago, I was crying every day. I've found myself recently not crying anymore. I pray that it continues to get better.
Sometimes though, I question why he's now trying to work on the marriage. I can't help to think, is this going to last? I guess this is normal?
Thank you all for your continued guidance.
Me: 36 H: 37 T:11 M:9 S9 D3 M - 11/2005 H not in love with me anymore- 2/2015 D mentioned - 2/2015 H wants to save M - 6/2015
Just an update. H asked me out on a movie date. I was so surprised and excited and said yes. It has been MONTHS since we have gone out just the 2 of us, not with the kids. But of course I didn't show the excitement. There are still tough days. I still have questions in my mind. He has been less defensive now. The other night I heard him call me his nick name for me. I was so surprised! I am still continuing DB-ing and 180.
I am new to your situation. It sounds like your actions may be starting to work. Keep doing what works.
I'll dedicate a prayer for you and your H after this post.
I wish you well.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Lynn, I've been going to the gym as much as I can now. I've been taking care of myself more. I used to not go shopping a lot because I always thought "this money should be saved for the kids' needs and wants". I always put them first. Now, I'm shopping for myself a little bit more. Going out for coffee by myself sometimes- no kids, no H. I've also been going out with friends just a little bit more. I am hoping to continue this no matter what happens. It does feel good to get a life besides being a mom and wife. I feel better as a person. Boosts my self-esteem.
What about you, Lynn? How's your me-time? Hope things are turning around for you and H.
You are very welcome! Thank you for your daily prayers, too. I can't describe how much that means to me.
Hang tough.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Another update. H asked me out to have early breakfast with him. Good thing my mom was available to babysit the kids. H and I actually had good conversation. It's been a long time. I still didn't show my excitement but dressed nice even for breakfast. I feel like the fog is lifting and the ice melting. He's becoming softer and sweeter towards me. It is surprising and nice but I am scared. What if he goes back to fog and ice again so I still have my wall up. I hope this is really for good. I am still DB-ing, GAL-ing and continuing 180. I keep re reading DR.
Thank you for your daily prayers, too. I can't describe how much that means to me.