Good to have you back here again. Home is where the heart is, right? I hope the law enforcement catches that bugger FAST! This person is very much unhinged indeed.
Scotch and amaretto are the world's best problem solvers, right? I just had a sip of amaretto last week...ahhhhhh wonderful.
Betsey, I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hoping there are more peaceful days ahead for you. Your "voice" is often in the back of my head as I navigate co-parenting, and I am so grateful for all the great advice and support you give.
LOL, scotch, amaretto, sunshine and positive voices indeed! Yes, home is where the heart is. However, I gotta say now that I'm back my heart is right back with me in Denver. I love it here. Even though we're all experiencing an absence of consistent sunlight this summer. WTF? This morning, the sun is shining, but the forecasts tell me to enjoy it while it's here - because after lunch, that's gonna change. Sweet.
I will say that by now, the landscape here is typically brown - awaiting the August monsoon. It's so green here, and I am definitely not disappointed to see that. But my lawn looks like crap (I call my backyard weedville) and at some point, I gotta mow. It's just not gonna be today.
Claire, if it helps you, I hear some wise voices in the back of my head. Still. One of the few people I saw on my trip home was my former posting pal, MicheleTW. She's a life coach, and I really needed a few hours with her. I swear we're sisters from another mother. Wonka will probably remember her, as well as the other wise voices of Heart2Heart, Azure and Wonder, CMNM, and more. I keep in touch with them in the real world, and it's good to know that our camaraderie helped pave the way to a happy life post-D. They're all uber successful women who held me responsible for getting myself out of the funk.
That's the real benefit of this forum. Sometimes we need to hear stuff that isn't pleasant. I used to bristle at that, but I found pretty quickly that the bristling was my discomfort with the truth and I had better sit on that for a few days. I found gold in them thar hills. I've now connected the dots to people who irritate me. I ask myself what bothers me about them... and dig deep. Most often, it's because they possess traits in myself that I despise. Sometimes they're just a*holes.
I find it interesting you mention the co-parenting thing. For some bizarre reason, I woke up this morning thinking about the timing - that Mr. Wonderful and I have now lived apart for as long as we lived together as married folk. That seems weird. And knowing that, it seems really weird that we've spent half our knowing each other being co-parents. Actually, more time co-parenting than being spouses working for the cause. Not sure why that thought creeped in. Perhaps because my D21 texted me last night to tell me that she's kind of worried about her dad. I had told her he wasn't in a good place, and he let his hair down a little with her, so to speak. I'm not responsible for his emotions, so I leave him be. If he needs to talk, he knows where to find me. Besides, he left for a golf weekend in Estes Park this morning and perhaps that's what he needs right now.
My cousins and I agree that the 50s are hard. You have to parent your own kids and parents too. My BFF called me last night and left a message crying... she had just put her mom in a nursing home and the prognosis is not good. And she's not even 80. It's just tough.
So let me acknowledge all of you for your support and good advice. I appreciate it!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hope you all had a good weekend. I decided I'm going to come back here to do a bit of journaling for awhile to get through some of the cobwebs. Perhaps this is the key to moving forward? As I told 2 friends yesterday - my motto this year is to put one foot in front of the other every day.
This Friday is my uncle's funeral and burial at Quantico. Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to attend - the fares to DC have been pretty high, and D18 has some dental surgery next Monday that requires me to have her at the hospital at 6 am. My sister and her hubby are going, so I'm glad my mom will have them home through that one. My last uncle who we've been expecting to go all along fell on Friday and had hip surgery on Saturday. He'll be 94 next month, and I think this bodes ill and will be the beginning of the end. He's been pretty unhappy living in the nursing home and being without my aunt, so perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Dunno.
I kept things pretty low key this weekend - did butt loads of laundry and mowed my yard. Weedville was a lot worse than I figured, and I was exhausted after clearing it out. Plus it got pretty hot this weekend, so I was more wiped out than usual.
D21 has been texting me a whole lot lately. Very late Friday night she told me that she really misses me and loves me. That was sweet. She told me how homesick she is, and it certainly made my heart hurt. I miss her too. We were texting a bit yesterday morning while I was drinking my coffee and doing my morning sudoku when my doorbell rang. I didn't answer it, because I was in the middle of a conversation with her and I was in my robe and not particularly wanting to show off the train wreck that I am in the morning.
I got a text a little while later from my male neighbor across the street. He told me he was on his way to Salt Lake for a few days but wanted to know if I'd like to come over for dinner next Saturday. And mentioned that he wants to catch up and hear about my trip home. I accepted the invitation and then kind of stopped myself as I thought, "Damn it, I'm slowly tackling the great wall of china." Normally, that would bother me, but I'm sitting with that right now. We.Shall.See. I refuse to take this for anything other than what friends do. And I will say that I enjoy his company and consider him a friend.
Today, I'm scheduling an appointment for D18 to have a small photo session for her "senior" pictures. Nothing crazy or awesome like D21's, but I want to have something special for her. Some volleyball mom friends of mine own a photography business, and they were pretty jazzed when I told them I'd like their help with her. So hopefully, we'll get this done after she gets her teeth fixed and it will be awesome.
Thanks for your kindness and well wishes. I can feel them from here!
Hope ya'll have a really happy, peaceful week ahead.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Just this past Saturday morning, I was puttering around the kitchen getting ready for breakfast and I peered out of the window to see a strange mini-van pulling up in the driveway.
So I open my front door all in my morning glory of a Harvard T-shirt and undies with morning hair going out in different directions. Then the ladies eventually revealed themselves to be Jeovah's Witness. Ok, I figured that they wouldn't stay along after I said a small white lie of being a Catholic after I said that I practiced a different religion and they asked me "what religion?" Then I demured in conciliatory tones that "I respect all kinds of religions..we all are on the same path toward God."
You would think they'd leave after that statement and me standing askew in house shoes, T-shirt and undies. I didn't bother with the modesty of putting on a robe because: 1) I hoped they'd scoot away soon 2) I don't own a robe.
Get this. They just pressed right ahead and blathered on and on about doing Bible study at the house. Even pulled out a smartphone to show me some info on their website.
At one point, I said, "I am sorry that I am not dressed up here." Hint, hint. Nope. They did not move away. I stood firm in my front doorway.
Imagine me....
T-shirt, undies, and house shoes with a very messy morning hair.
Guess what? I wasn't the least embarrassed at all!!
Something is to be said for being over 40 years old and not giving a d@amn! Very liberating from being a self-conscious 20-something young adult. Eh?
In my neck of the woods the Jehovah's have mobile literature stands set up on street corners...they just stand there and don't bother anyone. I'm beginning to like them lol! You should have invited them in for a blood transfusion...that would have got rid of them lol. Hey, Jesus hung out with the downtrodden so why not hang out with the T-shirted, undied and house slippered.
Wii--For the record, my 'hood is targeted by the Jehovah's as well as the LDS folks. I now have a doorbell camera that I'm finding is extremely useful.
Wonka--That's hilarious! I don't think it's wrong to tell a white lie in those circumstances. Hell, Mr. Wonderful was really good at it. He passed himself off as a Catholic AND a Jew when the mood suited him. And I live in a very diverse spiritual neighborhood - but I'd say the predominance in it is mostly Jewish and Catholic. LOL.
Now that you shared yours, I'll share another. It still makes me laugh. When Mr. Wonderful was in college, he was home in Montana for winter break. The doorbell rang, and on weekends, it was his mom's habit to stay in her house coat all day - puffing on her cigarettes and reading. She yelled, "K! Get the door!" I think she had habitually put him in that position for years, and he decided it was time to change things up. It was the Jehovah's. He said it was about 9:30 am, so he invited them in for coffee (which they declined). Meanwhile, his mom was banished to the makeshift closet/pantry sans cigs and a really small bladder after a few cups of coffee. He let them spend an hour with him explaining their beliefs, and his mom was literally dying to get out of the closet. He said he had them leave literature and thanked them for the 1 1/2 hour tutorial on JW. When they left, she came barreling out of the closet and started a tirade. Ok, maybe she ran to the bathroom first... and her last words to him were, "Don't you EVER do that again!" He had the last word, though, when he said calmly, "Then don't you EVER ask me to do your dirty work again. You answer your own door and tell them to go away." Hahaha, she never did ask him to do that again.
I did not have a good R with that woman and found the story totally hilarious. When D21 was home in May, he finally told it to her. She cracked up.
I have a couple extra robes, and just got my late aunt's short hand me down. Want one?
BTW, I had a JW duo come to my door a few weeks ago. They were a couple of black guys, dressed in nice suits. I liked them. But I didn't invite more conversation either.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey, wait it out for us Adventists to call...we hold potlucks (they're all vegetarian but it's still free food lol). I can remember when my oldest was only a couple of years old. We went out for a walk and I looked down the street and saw the Jehovah's getting out of their car and door knocking. I said to her "we better go back and warn mommy that the Jehovah's are coming" she started running down the street screaming loudly "Mommy, the Jehovah's are coming, the Jehovah's are coming!" Too funny.
Wii - I actually had the Adventists stop by my door a couple of weeks ago - two very nice ladies with a gentleman. I thought of you as this was the first time I have ever been visited by an Adventist - did you send them?
I need to be more creative! I usually just let them know I have my own beliefs and one of them isn't to push my beliefs onto others. Sometimes they get it snd leave. Most of the time when I see them though, I know it is time to hop in the car and head to the store.
Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I just had a sip of amaretto last week...ahhhhhh wonderful.
He let them spend an hour with him explaining their beliefs, and his mom was literally dying to get out of the closet. He said he had them leave literature and thanked them for the 1 1/2 hour tutorial on JW. When they left, she came barreling out of the closet and started a tirade. Ok, maybe she ran to the bathroom first... and her last words to him were, "Don't you EVER do that again!" He had the last word, though, when he said calmly, "Then don't you EVER ask me to do your dirty work again. You answer your own door and tell them to go away." Hahaha, she never did ask him to do that again.