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DifRent #2574830 06/03/15 04:26 PM
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The spew seems to be unavoidable when it comes to kids and money. You are doing a great job keeping your wits about it all. Let her spew. If it is not a necessity and cannot be covered right now, just tell her that and let it go. You have a lot on your plate.

You are doing great!


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
DJin #2574892 06/03/15 06:10 PM
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Hey DJin

Thanks for the posts. Yeah the spew is annoying and I love your line about "Thanks but the kids and I have already made our teacher gifts this year..." That is a nice way to handle it - very diplomatic.

Yes, my S9 did undergo chemotherapy and a stem cell tranplant when he was 2. He is 9 now, so everything is good. We get checks every year but thankfully we have passed the 5 year mark.

It's interesting my wife had an E Affair then when we were in the hospital - we took turns sleeping there, being there during the day, etc... So her pattern is when things get rough, she runs. This time, it's different as she has moved out and on with the creepy AP.

So, I just keep my focus on me, kids and try to stay unaffected by her garbage she hurls. It used to really upset me and I spent a lot of time thinking "why..." Now I don't do that, I just look at her like the child she is acting like. That gives me control and makes her realize she can't manipulate me.

Yes, it does look like we have similar situations. How are you holding up? Let me go back and read your thread.

Hang tough my friend.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
HeavyD #2574922 06/03/15 08:32 PM
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So now upon reflection - I should not have put money in her car meter yesterday at the D6 ceremony at school. I should have just ignored the request.

She also texted me and said she had a seat by the aisle - where she was sitting. I of course like an idiot sat there - beside her. I should not have done that either. Why do I keep falling for her displays of power over me? Obviously still not mastered the art of detaching. Such a hard process for me.

Urgh..... two mistakes in one day. Maybe that is why she was so nasty - to punish me for being her sap, doing her bidding. In hindsight, I should not have sat there not should I have filled up her parking meter. She fired me, I have to pinch myelf to remind myself of that more often. I don't have to be mean about it, just be detached. It's not my business.

Both of those encounters made me feel like I was still the W sitting by her and ensuring she did not get a ticket (fix it on my part). So hard to break patterns of 20 years.

OK - work on it. Pick myself up and do better next encounter.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
HeavyD #2574930 06/03/15 09:03 PM
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How should I respond to this Email today?

What's the status? Are you moving forward with your attorney (and, therefore, I need to do the same) or do you and I need to sit down and go through mediation document?

I have no idea how to respond. I forwarded it to my attorney and see what he has to say.

What does the board suggest? Ignore the email? Respond with something like "My lawyer will contact you" or what?

Looks like full speed ahead on her end.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
HeavyD #2574931 06/03/15 09:09 PM
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I would like to hear what others have to say, I wouldn't know how to respond to that.


M35 W33 S14 D12
M14
ILYBNILWY 07/14
BD 7/14
S 5/15

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
ILYNOT #2574934 06/03/15 09:32 PM
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Calling Wonka.....


Was made a better person by DB'ers
HeavyD #2574936 06/03/15 09:33 PM
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Which way do you want to go?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2574937 06/03/15 09:36 PM
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I don't want this divorce. I have never wanted this divorce.

I want to stand for my marriage.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
HeavyD #2574964 06/03/15 11:37 PM
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Heavy,

Breathe....

W's Original Email

What's the status? Are you moving forward with your attorney (and, therefore, I need to do the same) or do you and I need to sit down and go through mediation document?

Heavy's Suggested Response

As you may know, I have retained a L to represent me. I believe you have his contact numbers so you or your attorney will need to contact him directly. If not, here they are: XXX-5555 and pitpullattorney@yourecrazeee.com. Thanks.


Last edited by Wonka; 06/03/15 11:40 PM.
Wonka #2574975 06/03/15 11:58 PM
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Since W blew up the family unit, the onus is on her to contact the L herself. She needs to do the work herself.

Don't.lift.a.finger to help her at all. (well, not the middle one anyway!) grin


Last edited by Wonka; 06/03/15 11:59 PM.
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