Ok just read your previous post. I probably would have done the same thing but I am not sure that it is right. I wonder if you should have kept it shorter with just that you were thinking of them and praying period.? IDK.
Sometimes I feel I am too accommodating and 25years told me to not be so available or keep it short. Just a thought?
One thing I do is try and keep my own responses just a little shorter than H's. Pleasant, but brief. If he texted two lines, I'll text one and so on. Not that my sitch is any great example to try and follow!!
Pink, good to hear from you and glad you are keeping busy. I hope S gets off to football camp okay. Are you hiring a mule to help him with all of that stuff??
Any news of H lately, or is he off on his travels just now?? xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Skydive and Toots... thanks for all the support.
Actually I didn't want to kill the mule, so we got a moving truck. Geez, those kids need so much stuff on their bodies.
S15 was very excited and happy. We did everything together and he was very kind and caring throughout the errands to get all the stuff he needed.
The only one thing that always comes back, is the comment that his dad didn't even text him wishing a happy time at the camp. It's something to see your kid looking at some of his friends interacting with their dads and talking about football, or the stuff they packet.
Why his dad should take this road. The kid has nothing to do with our issues.
After last text from H, I just text him after 24 hours and I said: "Hi H. Sorry to hear that your dad needs to have another surgery. It's so much for such short period of time. Hope he continues improving and being stable today. Called G (his mom) on Tuesday night and left a message. Have J (his dad) in my prayers. Thanks for keeping me posted, it's very kind of you. Tchau.
It's pretty long when you write all the words. In my message it did not look so long with all the abbreviations. Anyway, will be more careful and make it shorter next time.
Skydive - you are welcome! Besides, helping each other is the way to grow as a person and learn every time.
Toots - Do you like American football? - By the way, I don't know about S21's father because I did not sent the email yet. Need to do that but did not have time yet. Now thinking, this is the big difference when you are detached. It's not your priority anymore.
You know the 100% guideline, it applies to your H too you know!
Who knows why these WS do what they do or say what they say? Don't waste headspace on the thoughts, it's a Gordian knot of barbed wire. When you get the answer it will change the question.
Let go sweet Pink, you are just great at being Pink. You've lived and loved, what more can you ask of yourself?
At only 48 there is much more to learn about love. You are only half way through and a second half is going to be much better. This is just a preparation for the best that life can give.
Thank you for your loving words on my thread and I return them wrapped in warmth and energy.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Tonight is a good moment to think that life can be short and time needs to be used wisely.
There a huge storm outside. Lots of lightning, a few tornados touch down. No satellite signal, internet comes and goes.
Yeah, if you are in a way of one of those tornados or even a lightning in Colorado, you going to be fried, or gone.
What would be to think about what you are doing in life, just wasting your time thinking about someone that don't value?
Your words are sweet and have a big meaning, I need to let go and live a decent and full life, and only God knows what will be tomorrow.
I have been trying my best to detach, it happens in ups in downs mode now. I have an intense pain thinking about my M and dreams being gone and other times I feel it is better because I was not happy in my M anyway.
I think that the main principal is not really valuing myself enough to step into my new life with courage and hope.
It's a process and it's one day at a time. I will try my best.
Not much happening, just H did text that his dad is doing well after his 4th surgery.
H also wants to know when is S15 football camp. Pathetic... S15 left for camp on Wednesday morning. Then he says that if I agree that he would like to do something with our sons on Saturday or sunday. I don't get it, our "sons" are 15, 17 and 21. They already decide what they want or don't.
What is this bull about...if you agree. I feel like he knows it upsets me and then he does it all the time. Besides the fact that he does not have much to talk to me anymore, so he keeps this cheap tabs.
I am cutting every contact with him, and I think I won't answer him anymore and instead ask the kids to contact him.
Once the court determine his visit with the kids, then it will all be resolved and there will be a schedule.
The pain is more intense, but it is not all the time. Sometimes it just feels that it is the right thing because I was not happy in my marriage. Some other times it is an intense pain that hurts a lot. The devastation of all this.
This is a busy, crazy week. Thanks for all the support, it would be so much more painful without the good advices and guidance, and even laughs and dreams that we share.
He is doing what he does because he can and it feels good to him. Does not care about the effect on Pink, good or bad. Trying to interpret his intention towards you will drive you crazy loco as he most likely has air in his head.
I like your idea of "ask the kids H".
And "I am not a go between H".
"Arrange that with S, if you want to"
"S is old enough to sort that with you H"
"I don't need to be involved with that"
As for camp
"H, why don't you text S yourself to arrange?"
You can agree to let the Sx3 arrange stuff with their dad.
I really like that 180 Pink, and you can prewarn Sx3 "I think you can arrange your own outings etc with your dad.That will give you more choice"
Then step out of the road, there was a big garbage truck of delusions coming to knock you over. You side stepped it. High five.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 06/05/1508:04 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I think your last post Pink was well put. It is all confusing I guess that is what MLC or whatever it is that they are doing is all about.
I think your are right when you said you don't value you yourself enough because you are strong and are doing this and will continue to do this and whatever happens you have to live your best life and if you do look back at M you can probably see that towards the end you were more miserable then you are now.
