Guys. You are all right. I am wrong. I just messed up bad. W sent me a text saying she was having friends over for dinner so if / when I drive by to not freak out. I called her. I talked R. She became furious.
You are all right: I am not detached. I am terrified. I fear for my kids. I'm confused. I'm codependent. I keep pursuing and trying to understand thinking I can talk my way out of this.
I just want to quit.
Ok .. well I am not surprised ... not one bit. I will not say We tried to warn you either (though I guess I just did)
Here is the deal .. you backslid ... it happens. Drop it and move on. You really need to figure out what you want out of all this ... its not going to end next week, next month ... who knows how long it will take ... I have been at this almost a year ... DBing I mean, been in bad shape marriage wise far longer.
I will tell you this ... as a$$ backwards as it feels, sticking to this process helps, helps you , and then in turn you will see a difference in your relationships .. not just your M, but with your kids, heck I recently DB'd a client here at work and was amazed with the results.
Trouble is ... its a ton of work, you have to train like you are going to run a marathon .. you just do not sign up for a 5k and expect to finish it the first go ... you have to put in the work first ... if not .. you will collapse far before you even sniff the finish line
Its up to you ... again .. your choice in how you want to continue, you can not half a$$ this.
Guys. You are all right. I am wrong. I just messed up bad. W sent me a text saying she was having friends over for dinner so if / when I drive by to not freak out. I called her. I talked R. She became furious.
WHY, WHY do you still resolutely persist in going down this cheeseless tunnel??!
You are all right: I am not detached. I am terrified. I fear for my kids. I'm confused. I'm codependent. I keep pursuing and trying to understand thinking I can talk my way out of this.
Still doing the same old thing over and over again expecting things to change. That's the definition of insanity.
I just want to quit.
So let me get this straight. You want to quit because YOUR WAY ins't getting anywhere? Smart?
How about STOP ....S-T-O-P....talking.to.W.for.real.
You just won't and are completely unwilling to stop talking because you have this thick head that just won't open up one jot to LISTEN to the wise people here who have trod the path before you.
You want to keep hitting those brick walls...sure, be my guest. I am not living your life. So...do what you want to do.
Just thought about this .. not sure have you/are you in IC?
Might wanna schedule something, I know for me it was rough, I was raised in a place where "Guys dont do that" ... i will tell you early on .. where you are ... it helped me get through some things .. Me kinda things .. Mirror work is where your salvation is and I do honestly believe that ... if you are not going to do it through this forum, and its hard to honestly .. you should be trying to improve yourself outside of here.
I have one I two choices here. I wasn't being sarcastic when I said all you guys are right and I'm wrong. I was being serious.
I either throw in the towel. Go home and tell her do whatever you want but I don't want a divorce.
Or I start fresh right now and LISTEN to all of you and ACTUALLY DB.
I want you guys to understand I'm not dense: my depressive nature, PTSD and anxiety disorder cause me to have CONSTANT racing thoughts and I struggle tremendously with acting on emotion.
I have one I two choices here. I wasn't being sarcastic when I said all you guys are right and I'm wrong. I was being serious.
I either throw in the towel. Go home and tell her do whatever you want but I don't want a divorce.
Or I start fresh right now and LISTEN to all of you and ACTUALLY DB.
I want you guys to understand I'm not dense: my depressive nature, PTSD and anxiety disorder cause me to have CONSTANT racing thoughts and I struggle tremendously with acting on emotion.
I want you guys to understand I'm not dense: my depressive nature, PTSD and anxiety disorder cause me to have CONSTANT racing thoughts and I struggle tremendously with acting on emotion.
What are some of the solutions that can be used to tackle these ^^^ challenges? Cali just gave you an hint....
-IC? -Get on some AD meds?
The most important things you MUST do right now are:
-Drink a lot of the STFU smoothie (Cali has pallets of orange-vanilla flavored ones that he can ship out to you) -GAL (you are obsessing over your situation/W waaay too much)
What are your GAL activities/plans for tonight, Saturday day, Saturday evening, Sunday day, Sunday evening?
I wouldn't pass up the suggestion for IC. I had fears of it and thought I didn't need it in the past. I even have buddies who mock counseling when I'm around but I don't care now.
It's some of the best money I've ever spent in my life. Just don't schedule it then call W to tell her.
Last edited by Fogg; 05/29/1510:22 PM.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
