Hello my friends. Sorry I didn't get to post last night. I got home late and was exhausted. The important things are I had fun and my trip was safe both ways!
As you know, my W was going to stop by our hose today and pick up a few things.. The key word is was. A short time ago, while I was finishing getting ready to leave our house. I got this text from her: "Bob - I can't come today. I am too tired to walk. Sorry, W."
I believe her and think it was, at the very least, polit eof her to inform me.
Question for the vets or any of my friends willing to take a shot at it. How should I reply????
I thought maybe something like this:
Draft: W, you don't owe me an apology. I appreciate you informing me. I hope you feel better soon. Bob
Once again, I could use some expert advice.
Would someone mind helping me, please?
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Short and sweet Bob. Something like 'No worries. Hope you feel better soon'. I'd forget this apologising thing, she does owe you. I feel you'd be letting her off the hook.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Great point Huddy -- she does owe me an apology. That would be too nice.
Thanks so much!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
That is real good, too. You can't get much shorter than that!!
I even considered not reponding at all.
Hmmm...I'll post my reply, if I am going to send one, before I send it. (In about 15 minutesor so.)
Thanks NDY!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Thanks for letting me know...I appreciate it. Please let me know how I can help make this easier for you...just give a holler. Hope you will get some rest today. -Bob
Thanks for letting me know...I appreciate it. Please let me know how I can help make this easier for you...just give a holler. Hope you will get some rest today. -Bob
Wonka, Wonka, Wonka, Wonka!
Wow, out of nowhere you pop-up to help me again. I'm not ashhamed to admit this...I'm crying right now beause almost immediately after I posted Huddy, NDY, and you have taken time out of your day to help me. I am so blessed.
I think the shorter the better, but your suggestion is shorter tha my draft was, I wouldn't be apologizing (thanks again Huddy!), and it still shows care about her.
Your other suggestions have been well-received by my W, for the most part, especially when they have something to do with her health.
Getting a woman's perpective is always so helpful, not that the men on the forum haven't helped as well--they have! The "DB Family" is amazing.
I've decided to go with Wonka's text.
{{{{{Wonka}}}}}
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
This is what I sent and it got delivered right away to her phone (you may recall she turns it off for days at a time).
"Thanks for letting me know...I appreciate it. Please let me know how I can help make this easier for you. Hope you will get some rest today. Bob"
I took out "just give a holler" only because it's not something I woud normally say or write. The line I love the best Wonka is "Please let me know how I can help make this easier for you."
Thank you again and I do have plans!! What an encouraging line.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Bob, I am going to hijack this thread to expand on a bit why I suggested the text response to other posters.
People, if you would read all of Bob's threads, his W has a MS which is a quite delibating condition that affects all aspects of her daily functions. Not a fun thing to have at all! One of W's two main complaints is that Bob has 1) been smothering 2) seemingly not caring about her health situation.
The approach going forward for Bob when interacting with his W (be it a text, phone call, or in person) is to do the two following actions:
-Show genuine interest in his Ws health -Trying not to jump in and go all into "Mr. Fix It" mode -Be supportive without smothering W
Just simply saying "ok" seems cold and uncaring. That is not the way to go in DBing when it comes to Bob's situation.
