Things is, do we actually get version 2.0 of our spouses. Do we take them back a better versions of themselves but still no where near version 2.0?
I want my H, the loving, caring person he was before he gave me all this! Does that ever happen.
Is the M better because we work harder never to go back to this pain we have all felt. It is not good, quite introspective and morose these last few days.
IDK Smothy. At BD, before I clicked that OM made this sitch add up, I was arguing that ultimately we would both learn from this, and then carry that forward into our next R." Lets learn this together" I said "and bring it into ours. In 20 years we can look back on this as the period which made our M great".
She insisted D was the only way. She owed nothing to me or the M.
I saw a new IC today. It went OK, but 1st session is basically me re-telling. I forget how vicious she was until I have to recount it to someone else and they visibly cringe at some of the things W said to me, and her behaviour.
I remember it like a horror movie. During the highlights I was panting, couldn't catch my breath. There are a handful of moments in my life that remain distinct. Most have dimmed. There was one moment which I dont think will EVER dim. She made me repeat it, to be sure I understood what she was saying. This was horrible in itself. "W didn't want a 2nd baby with me. She just wanted a sibling for the 1st." I still can't process this. It makes me feel horrible. I feel sick for my little girl as well. I just can't excuse adding this to her script.
She was so sweet. I just can't believe how she turned so bitter and venemous. And if it is the unexaggerated truth, this was years ago. WTF has been going on for years?
Anyway. I am not really down about it as it may appear. Just story telling. Actually had a great day. The kids drove me nuts at bedtime, but you get that sometimes. Oh and d4 had an accident on me, again! We were dancing and she was having too much fun to take a break.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
I remember it like a horror movie. During the highlights I was panting, couldn't catch my breath. There are a handful of moments in my life that remain distinct. Most have dimmed. There was one moment which I dont think will EVER dim. She made me repeat it, to be sure I understood what she was saying. This was horrible in itself. "W didn't want a 2nd baby with me. She just wanted a sibling for the 1st." I still can't process this. It makes me feel horrible. I feel sick for my little girl as well. I just can't excuse adding this to her script.
This, this is very odd. My W and I for years had said we didn't want another kid. Mostly it was her saying it. But on the night of BD we were at a party. S9 was there (it was a Halloween party do child friendly) and S9 had said that he would like a brother/sister but that won't happen now. WW turns around and says to him 'Never say never'.
That night at home once S9 was asleep she BD'ed. I never really thought about that until now.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
That's all very odd. So, in both cases, W has seemed to be planning this for a long time. Apart from turning my stomach, where does this put them on the WW scale?
We could do with Sandi2 here, because I thought a WW/WAW kind of decided just before BD. Having said that, we can't trust them, can we?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
That's all very odd. So, in both cases, W has seemed to be planning this for a long time. Apart from turning my stomach, where does this put them on the WW scale?
We could do with Sandi2 here, because I thought a WW/WAW kind of decided just before BD. Having said that, we can't trust them, can we?
I don't think it's quite that sudden. I think they have the OM in the background simmering away nicely while they decide what to do about the M. They are conflicted for a long time before they build up the courage to BD. Once they do though the decent is rapid. Very very rapid.
Note, the behavior up to BD gets increasingly erratic as well. Mostly to the H but also in general.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
yeah - the behaviour unto BD - i didn't really "collect" all the behaviour. But it all adds up now.
I really dont know what her intention was telling me that. I know she was hesitant in having another child, but she really did want a sibling for the first. I blissfully believe that the was just trying to hurt me as much as she could.
BD was not 100% over. She left it in a way that she wasn't the one closing the door but hurt me as much as she could hoping I would just say "**** off - thats it - 100% over". but i didn't. i was like Rocky just kept taking it on the chin.
Good practice for now it was. I reckon will serve me well for the rest of my life. I'm superhero impervious to pain now
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
I remember it like a horror movie. During the highlights I was panting, couldn't catch my breath. There are a handful of moments in my life that remain distinct. Most have dimmed. There was one moment which I dont think will EVER dim. She made me repeat it, to be sure I understood what she was saying. This was horrible in itself. "W didn't want a 2nd baby with me. She just wanted a sibling for the 1st." I still can't process this. It makes me feel horrible. I feel sick for my little girl as well. I just can't excuse adding this to her script.
This, this is very odd. My W and I for years had said we didn't want another kid. Mostly it was her saying it. But on the night of BD we were at a party. S9 was there (it was a Halloween party do child friendly) and S9 had said that he would like a brother/sister but that won't happen now. WW turns around and says to him 'Never say never'.
That night at home once S9 was asleep she BD'ed. I never really thought about that until now.
so???? is your W saying she might have more kids with OM? how very odd to say to your son, even knowing the meaning in your own head.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
yeah - the behaviour unto BD - i didn't really "collect" all the behaviour. But it all adds up now.
I really dont know what her intention was telling me that. I know she was hesitant in having another child, but she really did want a sibling for the first. I blissfully believe that the was just trying to hurt me as much as she could.
BD was not 100% over. She left it in a way that she wasn't the one closing the door but hurt me as much as she could hoping I would just say "**** off - thats it - 100% over". but i didn't. i was like Rocky just kept taking it on the chin.
Good practice for now it was. I reckon will serve me well for the rest of my life. I'm superhero impervious to pain now
After months of suspicion on my part and her treating me like sh*t, which got worse every day and me like a withering little wimp standing in the background taking it all thinking not only was I going mad for suspecting her but also blaming myself for her anger I got it right between the eyes.
Then, after weeks of trying to sort it with her (yea, it was before DR and DB) she happily announced that she was sleeping with him. So there was the 100% right there.
Oh, and don't forget it was all my fault. And like a mug I did blame myself.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
