I also wonder why I worry so much all the time. I get that anxiety and worry do serve a purpose. Were it not for these, I would never have studied for exams or been prepared for anything. They can be great motivators. The problems is that I (and perhaps you) tend take it to the extreme and paint such a bleak picture. It is hard to enjoy life and be in the moment when we do this.
Thank you for sharing in my joy. I really do wish my fellow DBers could have been present to share in the celebration. You are such an awesome bunch and heck, we could all use a little celebration!
Let's see if I can capitalize on the momentum.
BTW, for the record, it may not be a popular opinion and a lot of folks on your thread disagree, but I do not think you need to confront your H. I agree that in the long run you will not feel better AND it hinders the detachment process. He will be evasive and you will not get the answers you want anyway. I would not expect him to suddenly break down and confess. Confrontation is only when you can do something productive with the information. Am I wrong?
BTW, for the record, it may not be a popular opinion and a lot of folks on your thread disagree, but I do not think you need to confront your H. I agree that in the long run you will not feel better AND it hinders the detachment process. He will be evasive and you will not get the answers you want anyway. I would not expect him to suddenly break down and confess. Confrontation is only when you can do something productive with the information. Am I wrong?
RAI
Thanks for that. I am torn on the confrontation. Will it get me closer to my goal? I have no idea...
You CAN and WILL capitalize on your momentum!
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
Way to go rai! Your sitch and story is another one I relate to. The anxiety, fears, om, trying to make progress and worried you aren't making any, feeling angry/sad and then pity for ww.
I'm so happy to see the success and progress you've made. It helps me see it can be possible for me down the road!
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
I also wonder why I worry so much all the time. I get that anxiety and worry do serve a purpose. Were it not for these, I would never have studied for exams or been prepared for anything. They can be great motivators. The problems is that I (and perhaps you) tend take it to the extreme and paint such a bleak picture. It is hard to enjoy life and be in the moment when we do this.
RAI-- I always enjoy your threads! I agree with you about worrying all the time and the purpose of anxiety. It's hard to imagine anyone leaving someone so accomplished and insightful. I'm no where near as accomplished and still struggle with the "why's," but this is all becoming clearer with each passing day. MrBond pointed out to me my insecurities and with more introspection, I see my insecurites as the root of all my marital strife. This DBing is starting to make some sense.
I'm so proud of how you've handled everything. I can definitely identify with your FB story, as my W is still beautiful, but she is detiorating at a much faster rate than I. It doesn't make me love her any less, but when I look objectively at FB pics... I'm aging very well. But, the more I look at my sitch and myself... I really have a lot of improving to do. There is a lot of low hanging fruit!
I really do hope the very best for you... and Rise Above It!
Last edited by SadDood; 05/14/1511:48 PM.
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. We are all works in progress. Were it not for our challenges, we would never have the opportunity to grow.
I read your thread last night and I am sorry for your sitch. I had some thoughts, I will share them with you on your thread.
Thanks for writing. I definitely feel the same kinship from your posts that you feel from mine. Not everyone's thread resonates with me. I tend to follow sitches that are bit closer to mine - because the advice given will more likely be applicable to my sitch, and yours stands out as being eerily similar. You are a bit younger, but we both have young children, WAW/WWs who are filing (my W filed for dissolution), and are both still under the same roof.
