Very difficult! There have been times I want to just touch him, kiss him, hold his hand, and other things not appropriate for posting!
It's even more difficult because he was always very sexual, me not so much, one of our big issues...I would guess without reading the book we had a SSM.
On the flip side, without pursuing there can be no rejection..which I'm still so fearful of although he's already rejected me.
Last edited by lost18; 04/24/1501:24 PM.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
"but when we talk we hold hands. It makes it more emotional and harder for him to lie"
Don't be to sure of that. The very nature of an affair is a lie, people have affairs all the time and lie to their spouse that they are still being intimate with. So, while it may be harder for you to lie because of the connection, that is not necessarily the truth for him. Remember no expectations!
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
YOUR RIGHT. he's been sending me mixed signals. I don't know what to do. He says he wants to come home, which he had been the past few nights but he's still with the ow. He says he is trying to brake up with her minus the drama but wants to work on us. I'm not convinced. I'm getting clingy and everything I've done since feb. Feels like it's down thr drain. He tells me how come I'm not wearing my ring. And if a guy talks to me he gets pissed. What's going on in his head.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
I am always wondering the same question about my H and what he's thinking...the thing is we'll never know, unless they tell us and even then who knows if it is even close to the truth.
Stop being clingy....unattractive! I will give more advice that I need to take myself....stop focusing on him and focus on what you can control...YOU!
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
ya i say that too. ugh. sometimes i just want to give up... i cant keep feeling sad like this and i dont want to cling on him cause it is ugly. he says its childish. i know but i just want to hug him and kiss him... i am taking care of me. thank god! lol i finally am making me time. pampering my self. but when i look good and feel good i just want him by my side! i wake up thinking about him, i fall asleep thinking about him. all day hes in my head!
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
I have read your thread and the only advice I can give right now is stop making yourself so available to him. Don't call or text him unless it's about the kids and if he text or call you about something else and it's not important, let the call go to voice mail and wait awhile before responding to his text messages.
If he comes over to see the kids, say great because I need to run some errands. Even if you don't. But have yourself looking hot when he shows up. Be a mystery to him. Let him wonder what you are up too.
This is what I have done in the past and it worked for me. And I have decided to start doing this again.
sometimes i just want to give up... i cant keep feeling sad like this and i dont want to cling on him cause it is ugly.
That's why we have to find the grey area that's not really either of those options. Were not giving up on the M, but also not staying stuck on it either. So neither giving up or staying clingy. Easier said than done, believe me I know. Just keep focusing on yourself.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
