Keeping on trucking

[Squiggy]

Allegedly no. S5 has told me OM hasn't been there during the week, but who knows about weekends. WW claims he is gone from the picture.

[mahhhty]

Ok... Important question. She asked me how do we work on this after choosing to spend another two hours with S5 and I. Immediately after she passed her exam. Dinner and all for two and a half hours.. Instead of going out and celebrating with others. She said she wants to know how before she decides...

Keep in mind that she moved two hours away. I do still hear fear from her, and I can't blame her, because I'm scared too.

For engineer, sometimes I feel stupid. Squiggly what is the Important Question?

[Squiggy]

How to answer her. Guess I could have made that more clear.

She asked how we would work on things. Still no full commitment to it, and yet she's trying to get ideas. Maybe part of her thinking things through.

[mahhhty]

Ahh... Thank you. Around her somewhere was a list of steps or a checklist about piecing. Perhaps read that and get some ideas.

Take this with a grain of salt (as I am no expert on piecing) I just caution you to not swoop in with all the answers, she should come to the table with ideas of her own (to be validated by you). I think that would ensure the move forward is a joint move hand in hand.

Good luck Squiggy!

[Squiggy]

I'll have to find it. Thanks for pointing me in that direction. I realize we are not in piecing, but it could be that she is moving towards it.

I gave some generic answers like spending time together, not always talking about the problems, addressing marital issies, and doing MC. I made the emphasis that I really think a pro-marriage MC would be crucial to us to keep both of our therapist mind in the right direction. I'd like to be prepared with some other good ideas, if she were to initiate talking about this again.

It is interesting that I'm not initiating a single thing it at this point.

[mahhhty]

It is interesting that I'm not initiating a single thing it at this point.

The only way to repair a distancer/pursuer relationship is for the pursuer to become the distancer and the distancer to become the pursuer. Strong work my man!

Keep on trucking!

[Squiggy]

I read the post about the distancer-pursuer relationship. It was very informative. However, I am still very unsure of whether or not the dynamic has actually changed. It's very hard to trust anything these days.

My L did inform me today that WW still had not gotten her own L yet. For someone as smart as her, that is very shocking.

[mahhhty]

Perhaps she is really thinking things through? Or perhaps she is a mess? Or both?

Baby steps.

[Squiggy]

OM is still in the picture, so who knows. It's been a great week with S5 though, and I'll be sad to take him back Sunday night.

[mahhhty]

OM is in the picture? How'd you figure that out?