Went out a few days ago and posted a few pictures of Me and some friends GAL. Came back and contacted H.
This was when he told me about going with another female not the OW. We had a 2 hr conversation and prob spent about 5 mins with me asking about this. I told h I shouldn't of ask, was jealous etc. the rest of the conversation, I thought was quite normal and friendly.
Last night I recieve a message that I I posted pictures of me having a good time then being abusive to H on FT, and some things never change!!!!! What does he mean? I thought we had a good friendly chat like friends. That really stung and hurt
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Don't let it get to you. He's finding out that he can't control you and that you are a catch. He will get even nastier, so don't let that suck you in. Be strong. You can do it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
DB coach session today! I need to learn how to be dark and stay dark. Still obsessing what he is doing on a daily basis though.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Have not been able to go dark. Spoke to H this weekend. Text him Happy Easter and he responded also a bit of a tense conversation,
Very different to the last one we had.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
H has completely removed our joint iCloud's to individual ones. Every bit of separation activity he does is like another punch in the gut and this hurts for days.
Then I ruminate and decide there is no hope and to stop this completely.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Posted on FB pictures of me and my colleagues seeing a band last night. H knows the international group are predominately male.
Got a message saying he has removed me as a friend as he does not want to see me drunk with male friends!!!!!!
Also H is now saying he no longer wants to come on holiday or a concert with me as I he does not think it's the right thing to do!
I am trying to DB but getting mixed messages all the time. I feel like throwing the towel in, I had a bit of hope that because he still wanted to be friends and go away we may be able to turn this around.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Your H definitely still feels a connection to you if he is getting jealous of you being out with other people. Yes, I know he is doing the same. There are a million reasons why he is doing what he is doing, and saying the things he is saying. You have a better chance at winning the lottery than guessing what is really going on in his head.
The best advice anyone here can give you is to work on yourself. Dont worry about what he is doing. And I know that is tough. But if you can find the strength, work on being that person only a fool would leave. Posting pictures of you with other men in bars is only going to turn out bad for you, regardless of how innocent it might have been. He is at a point in his life where he is looking for justifications for his actions. Seeing you posting bar pictures on your FB with other guys just gives him another excuse. Nothing wrong with posting GAL activities. But make sure they are not "in your face" type of post. Leave some mystery in them. Make him wonder what is going on.
Best of luck to you.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Smothy, I have nothing much to offer other than a lot of support and good will.
It's pretty obnoxious. First he makes the decision to end your M, then he blames you for the pain he's feeling from the consequences of that decision.
What any of it means is anyone's guess. Seriously, believe NONE of it. NONE!!!
Things happened very quickly in your sitch in terms of BD to D. I know there were issues before, but the point is it's totally normal for you to be a bit overwhelmed. Holy cow, that's a lot of years together to throw away, I am really sorry you're here.
Good for you for GAL activities. Keep journaling here. I hope you get more participation and we get to know you better. It's a good community but sometimes it takes a bit to get to know people because unfortunately there are 19.2 billion divorces a day apparently.
Post again tonight and tell us more! What's on your mind?
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I'm copying MrBond's quote from 3/26: Don't let it get to you. He's finding out that he can't control you and that you are a catch. He will get even nastier, so don't let that suck you in. Be strong. You can do it.
I feel like throwing in the towel myself. My wife filed for D almost 6 months ago and seems to be getting nastier - I think to test me. Don't get me wrong, it hurts, and I'm sad and confused by it all.
But as Cadet asked, "What would you do differently if you threw in the towel??
Please hang in there!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
