Quick update as i get ready to get out for the day. Have yet to be served...
Still no contact with the W. The meeting with the mutual friend went as expected. A few tears but, being stubborn as heck. Really didn't get anywhere except our mutual friend becoming drunk and emotional.
I dropped her mail off to her aunts house yesterday, as they live a couple miles down the road. Made sure i looked good, dressed up, trimmed up, and dressed nice. Talked for a few and then headed out to meet with some friends.
Still just focusing on myself. Feels good to know that even if i have relied on her for cooking, and cleaning, i can take care of myself. Made chicken cutlets the other night, pancakes, this morning. And tacos are on the list. Yesterday on the way home from a friends house i realized how good i feel. Its been 3 weeks since i started taking medication for my anxiety and possible mild depression. I am starting to finally feel like my self again. A feeling that has been missing for years. Put up a post on FB about my anxiety issues, my struggle to accept it, and the use of medication is not something people should be ashamed of. I am surprised of the overwhelming support from everyone, it has been terrific.
Talked with my coach today, it was very helpful. All i know is that in the end of all of this, I will be a changed and better man for the future. However this ends. Take care all and have a great day and Easter!
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
Still just focusing on myself. Feels good to know that even if i have relied on her for cooking, and cleaning, i can take care of myself. Made chicken cutlets the other night, pancakes, this morning. And tacos are on the list. Yesterday on the way home from a friends house i realized how good i feel. Its been 3 weeks since i started taking medication for my anxiety and possible mild depression. I am starting to finally feel like my self again. A feeling that has been missing for years. Put up a post on FB about my anxiety issues, my struggle to accept it, and the use of medication is not something people should be ashamed of. I am surprised of the overwhelming support from everyone, it has been terrific.
Those nice feelings about yourself keep getting better and better. You still feel the pain of your W, but you have this separate feeling of awesomeness inside yourself.
Exercise also helps with those feelings getting better, and handling the depression. IC told me about how a 30 min exercise session can have similar effects to a dose of prescription medication for depression.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Have always been a pretty active person. Though my kid and teens years, was always on a bicycle, skiing, Hockey... But all of that has come to an end. I have noticed recently in the last few years that i seem to develop more issues around the time of the new year. Now i am not sure if it is because of the lack of light and vitamin D. Or the lack of winter time exercise. At the moment my main hobby is motocross. Believe it or not it is one of the top 5 physically demanding sports out there. Hoping that opening day will be Sunday. But with the rain at the moment, we shall see.
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
Got served paperwork Friday night at 8:30 PM. Not much to say other than it was short, guy seemed nice, although i was not. I wasn't mean but didn't really say anything to him, other than yes. Although i have not actually read through the paperwork, a quick glance at it and seeing her signature all over it, infuriated me. I sent out a few texts to two of my closest friends, just venting. (they were not nice).
Have not talked, or communicated with the W.
Was able to get the first ride in Saturday. Way too windy, but still good to get out. Last night a few friends came over the house. One has gone to school for physiology. Had a good talk about what was going on. Drank a few too many beers, but it was a great time.
Today for Easter went over a friends mother house, with their family. Unfortunately my closest family is 2 hours away and my sister is 6 hours away. I refuse to ask the W for any favors at this point for the point of detaching, so i still need to take care of my dog, and visiting them would be out of the question. It felt good to reconnect with the family i went to Easter with today. I always considered the mother my second mom,and still use the no knock entrance rule at their house. Its been a few years, but it still feels like home, and feels like just yesterday. Got a second ride in, not about to do some house work and make some dinner.
Hope you all had a great Easter!
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
Roller coaster continues to ride. Had such a great weekend. Feeling extremely confident in myself, maybe a bit too much. Kept myself busy enough to not think too much about it. A mutual friend has been in contact with her. There seems to be no convincing her to reconsider at this point. Or at least there is nothing that anyone can say that she is willung to listen to. Some info has been relayed to her on me doing a lot of stuff, (180's). Actully our mutual friend screen shooted me a portion of their conversation. She knows i am doing really well and am doing a great job of taking care of myself, but it seems like she may be using it as a positive to keep going with the divorce. I think she said something like "See this wasn't such a bad idea after all" I am trying to keep hope, but not drive myself nuts at the same time.
Today i am just feeling a bit down on this. Maybe because of how great the weekend was.
He was able to get her to text me. For some reason she thought he was watching our dog. He told her he was not and she should send me the message. She sent me a texts saying she missed the dog, and asked how he was doing. I waited until the morning to respond. Said "Hi! Happy late Easter. (Dog Name) Is doing great." She then texted back "Happy late Easter to you too! Glad to hear he is doing well and i hope you are as well. Maybe i could get a picture of him later?" I waited 3 hours and replied "Ill try to remember later. All i have are selfies." Not sure if i want to send her a pic of the dog later or not yet.
Last edited by Sickone; 04/06/1506:38 PM.
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
I think the most upsetting portion of this at this point is the fact that i can feel and see myself changing for the better. As i stated before with the recent med's i feel more like myself then i have in years. I really wish she was here to join me for this experience. I truly believe that if she were willing to try, it would work. I fear that if she doesn't realize this soon, i may move on, or get to the point where i don't want to try anymore. The hope is there to have this work but i fear actually moving on. I know i am a great, attractive person. And at the moment i don't really want to find something better. But the possibility is out there. I am just lost i guess.
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
Ended up "Forgetting" to send a picture of the dog to her.
Decided to clear my mind by going to a movie last night after work. Watched furious 7. Great movie, but a few scenes hit home. I am pretty sure there was a scene from pikes peak CO. We honeymooned right at the bottom of the mountain. But it was nice, first time i think i have ever went to a movie by myself.
Feeling good today, and energetic this morning. We both had today planned off from work a few months back. I went to work today because there is no reason to not go it... but i would assume she took the day off still. I feel like she may come visit the house and the dog while i am at work. Left the house clean but not perfect. Bed is made, stuff is put away for the most part, Still have a bunch of Dishes in the sink, from cooking. Left the movie ticket on the counter. I moved the remainder of her stuff out of the marital bedroom closet and into the guest room closet the other day. Also removed all of her "female" stuff out of the bath rooms.
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
So i was talking to a friend that went to school for Physiology. She told to wait a few days and then send an E-mail to the W, if i haven't heard from her by then. With a picture of our dog, and just stating that i love her and i am willing to give her space if that's what she needs.
Is this bad advise at the moment? Or would it be good to reach out to her quickly?
Last edited by Sickone; 04/07/1507:16 PM.
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
So i was talking to a friend that went to school for Physiology. She told to wait a few days and then send an E-mail to the W, if i haven't heard from her by then. With a picture of our dog, and just stating that i love her and i am willing to give her space if that's what she needs.
Is this bad advise at the moment? Or would it be good to reach out to her quickly?
Best to get some duck tape for your mouth and computer terminal/phone.
Quickly talked to a lawyer. But have not done anything yet. First discussions with the W were she doesn't want anything from me, and we do not need lawyers. I will most likely get a lawyer to at least walk me through what i need to do, and look over any paperwork. And have him step in if necessary.
I am getting the vibe that you think this is helpless at this point...
W(26) Me (27) Together for 9 years, 2.5 Married Asked for D 3-15-15 W moved out to parents 3-26-15
