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Be upbeat and pleasant, but distant. Like a friendly neighbor. Have you positively established that she doesn't have anyone else on the side?


Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood

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rustbkt Offline OP
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Maybe I should say that I do this texting.


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Me 52 W49
M 30
T 32
4 kids over 20
EA suspected
Bd Sept 14 ILYBINILWY
Still living under the same roof seperate beds
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Could you detail your M history? The more detailed you are, the more we can help.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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rustbkt Offline OP
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Rzrback I have not seen any evidence of anyone else or and EA. When she's not working she's at home or with our D's. I just don't see it and I have been looking. Sometimes I wish there was someone else because that would give her a reason for not wanting to be with me.


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Me 52 W49
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4 kids over 20
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Still living under the same roof seperate beds
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The first step would be to find your pants and start wearing them.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Originally Posted By: Phil224
You also ask if i'm afraid of my wife and I would have to say yes. My wife wears the pants in our house. I let her because if I didn't we would have issues all the time. I am afraid of her because she can get very angry when we have an argument. I would rather keep quiet and let things blow over most of the time.


Phil, read what I just posted on Sandi's LBH thread. Very timely...



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rustbkt Offline OP
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My W and I work different shifts. I have now stopped texting her to say good morning and later in the day to text ask her how her day is going. Just as I thought would happen she has stop texting me now except to ask me when I will be home.
I'm not sure if this is a good idea but I felt like I was pursuing her.

Will try and sit down soon and put together a marriage history.


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Me 52 W49
M 30
T 32
4 kids over 20
EA suspected
Bd Sept 14 ILYBINILWY
Still living under the same roof seperate beds
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rustbkt Offline OP
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Well I did my first 180 this evening. Sat at home waiting for my W to come home for dinner. She finally showed up at 7pm about 2 hours late. When she got home she asked me how I was. I don't know what happened but I lit into her for not showing me the courtesy to at least text me and let me know that she was going to be late. I got my jacket and told her I was going out for a while and walked out the door with her jaw dropping on the floor. This is the first time I have raised my voice with her in over a year. Yes It felt goooood.


_________________________
Me 52 W49
M 30
T 32
4 kids over 20
EA suspected
Bd Sept 14 ILYBINILWY
Still living under the same roof seperate beds
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 39
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rustbkt Offline OP
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So I suspect that my W could be seeing someone, but I don't have any proof. What should I do, should I confront her? Or should I have definite proof before I confront her? The only problem is she is very smart at keeping things from me now so it could be a very long time before I do or if I ever find out. Any suggestions on what I should do?


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Me 52 W49
M 30
T 32
4 kids over 20
EA suspected
Bd Sept 14 ILYBINILWY
Still living under the same roof seperate beds
Joined: Jun 2007
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Don't confront without proof, and never tell where you received the verification.

Tell me something. If you had stopped texting her, would you have answered if she had let you know she was going to be late?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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