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Last night I went to the blues festival and had a great time. Sailboat guy was there as part of the group. As we were all leaving, he walked me to my car. Just to make sure everything was ok. And it occurred to me that in the past few years, H hadn't done that sort of thing. and then this morning, H texted me to see if I would be home today for the air conditioning repair people. I said I'd be home this afternoon but had a ultrasound this morning to diagnose something I'm still chasing down post-surgery. And H's reply was....not hope it goes well, but something entirely unrelated to either my health or the air conditioning. I'm not complaining, I'm past that. Just observing that I'm clearly not on his thought list. And if I can keep that in mind on Monday I'll be ok no matter what he says



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Glad to see you had fun at the blues fest. Monday is going to be a tough one. Praying for strength for you and hoping things work out for the best for you and your family.


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Thanks, bdub. It's a busy weekend between now and Monday. Tonight I'm going on a ghost hunt. No kidding. wink



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rpp-Have a wonderful hunt tonight! That sounds like fun!

Quote:
Our end-of-S talk is Monday, and I've been thinking about what I'd like to do going forward. The truth is, I don't want to do anything different at all.


What would happen if you opted to take the lead in this discussion and tell him straight up what you want and why? If he says no, you can ask why and it will either be something you accept or feel you can't (which will likely be something you can use with the lawyer down the road).

Colorado is a total d1ck state when it comes down to long term marriages and lifestyles, but even in this insane place, they recognize the difficulty of not being 100% employed at educational capacity because you've raised kids. I was entitled to 4 years of spousal support for 14+ years of marriage, and I was employed at a job that was not considered being underemployed. Not sure how Florida swings, but my guess is that you'd get some fair financial consideration if you had to be fully independent by the end of the year. It might require you getting a job that you're qualified to do, though.

Way back when a former male poster here had a STBXW who just didn't want to work. When the judge told her she had to get a job, she applied and got a job as a cafeteria worker at the kids' school. She was genuinely shocked that the judge called her out for it and reduced her spousal support to a differential between that and what she was qualified to do. BTW, she never did get a good paying job. She basically hung her shingle out as a needy girlfriend to a string of dumb men boyfriends. Isn't that gross?

Anyway, I'll get back on point. Why not just ask for what you want right off the bat? See what he says? Your H doesn't sound like a dick, rpp. Six months is only October. That's pretty reasonable.

Hugs--Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

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If RPP never posts again, we can mark down "ghost hunting" as a bad idea for GAL.

I think I disagree with Bets on this one. I think I would possibly sit quietly and listen. Validate and then ask for time to consider.


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Just to clarify, I agree that asking for 6 months is not asking too much.


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rpp, your GAL is impressive! Have a great weekend


M: 43 H: 39
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I thought about doing a ghost hunt meet up but I was worried it was a cover for "come hang out in decrepit old houses so we can kill you." Hoping RPP posts soon...


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Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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SunnyB Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Maybell
I thought about doing a ghost hunt meet up but I was worried it was a cover for "come hang out in decrepit old houses so we can kill you." Hoping RPP posts soon...


LOL Maybell! This ghost tour was at a local historical estate so there was no decrepit element. It was interesting and whether we actually experienced anything paranormal depends on who you ask I suppose. Nothing really obvious to me. But apparently there is a ton of documentation about paranormal events on this property, photos, videos, voices, electrical disturbances, unexplained mists, doors rattling, cabinets opening, faucets running. It was a fun thing to do.



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Ghost hunting . . . sounds a lot like trying to reconcile with a WAH. Just sayin'


M: 43 H: 39
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BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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