I'm in no way saying that you should take responsibility for the A. My H had one also, and I don't own that, he does. I meant that we all have things we need to own from the marriage. I was trying to highlight the anger because your D may be picking up on it.
Me: 30 H: 35 M: 5 years S2 Signs of MLC started Feb 2014 BD - PA July 2014 Piecing/reconciling late July 2014
PS I would like to say to all going through this: Nothing you did CAUSED your spouse to cheat. That decision was all theirs. If they were unhappy with you, they had a responsibility to speak up and not blindside you. So no, I won't be taking the blame for destroying my family. Was I a perfect wife? No -- but I was pretty darn good! No one is a perfect partner, but that does not give the other person a valid reason to cheat in my book.
I'm with you Ahoy. My fool of a H doesn't know just how good a W I was. Not perfect. But good. Fool.
Likewise. I even asked him what he thought he was solving with his one-night stands and he said it wasn't a solution, that he just didn't know what he wanted.
Give me a break. I'm a smart cookie. I don't want to go through life with someone so thoroughly avoidant that he thinks HE can decide what HE wants by unzipping his pants for strangers. As though he has no responsibilities to anyone else. I did a LOT for him, and if I wasn't perfect, well, neither was he.
Nope, not taking the blame for that.
Anymore.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Put the house on the market. Had seven showings on the very first day AND a good offer. Hooray! Another hurdle almost cleared. . . Getting closer to the finish line. Now if I could just get the paperwork back from his L.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Hi Ahoy. You seem to be moving towards your goal at great speed. How are you feeling about it at the moment and what's your Ds thoughts ? Take care. Rd
Love it! I can't wait to have this nightmare over. I look at my H and feel completely repulsed by the person he's become. I am much happier on my own, and am looking forward to moving on with my life. My daughter is BEGGING to move away from him. Not because of anything I've said to her, mind you. I constantly remind her that no matter what, her father loves her. I am careful not to bad-mouth him. But he is damaging that relationship all by himself by not listening to her and not prioritizing her needs above his crotch. The sooner I have him out of my life, the better.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Hi Ahoy I'm glad that you feel happier on your own and are looking forward to your future. You're right in your post above, that no-one deserves to be cheated on. It doesn't matter if they are the "perfect" spouse or not...Is there even such a thing??
I wish you lots of luck.
Barry.
Me 40 W 38 T 23 M 21 S21 S19 D16 S14 BD 19/12/2014 D mentioned 27/2/2015. I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015
