He asked to see the video B and I made and after watching it told me I did really great and then patted me on the head. Patted!! Like a 5 year old!
It's funny how he did that. Reminds me of when my H told me that he'd give me a month's notice before he left me, and smiled like he was doing me a huge favor!
Go beat up the troll, that way you get your anger out! j/k but definitely tempting!
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Glad things went well with H. Great that you already had a GAL plan and just a short interaction with him. All sounding good! Glad you've perked up a bit after feeling low over the weekend. Maybe you just needed some time to go - bleugh - and then regroup. You do get tired. We all do. Sometimes you just feel weary to the bone with it all - but here we all are, and the only way is forwards!
Hope you enjoyed the movie.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Eirinn - Side note, I saw your thread locked, are you opening a new one? Haha, yes I was quite tempted to go beat up the troll!!
H is active on reddit so he asked me to send him the link to the thread and he will downvote the troll. Think I might sign up and do the same. Lol. He also got a bit carried away 'comforting' me - after I mentioned the troll, he gave me about 6 hugs (even though I wasn't really that upset), started stroking my hair and then was stroking my arm. He literally looked down at my arm and his hand stroking it, realised he was stroking it, tensed up and pulled his hand back off my arm (still hugging me the whole time though). It is so funny and weird watching him realise when we nearly have a tender moment and then freak out! So strange.
Toots - Thanks, I think I just sort of needed to get it out. Think Zelda hit the nail on the head when she said it was like when people get sick after things calm down. Movie was good, went to see Selma. Very good, quite intense and moving.
Last edited by susana4; 03/09/1511:59 PM.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Why is it so hard to resist snooping? Even though I have said I wouldn't snoop, just noticed his wallet out on my dresser so had a look (and yes I know there's not going to be anything in it and I had a look through his computer already when he left it unlocked - nothing there either - but I decided to have a look in the wallet *just because it was there* and I couldn't resist). There was nothing of interest in there, just a lot of ATM slips from his ski trip, his bank cards, a coffee loyalty card. The picture of me is still there, next to an old business card of mine (no clue why he's saved that ), he's shoved it to one side though (was in center part before). Trying not to read anything into the fact it's still there, he's probably too lazy to take it out or something. (And this is why I shouldn't snoop!)
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
So, on a more fun note, thoughts on outfit planning? H and I are going on a for pizza tomorrow (a not date date? lol) and I've picked the following, going for sexy casual.
Clothes: new jeans and a new sheer cream top (it's a little bit sheer, but not see through, so just the right amount IMO)*
Shoes: Heels of course!
Makeup: Planning to go fairly light, will probably do red lipstick though. I got some new coral nail polish on Saturday and painted my nails. Nice spring colour!
Jewelry: Have the best new earrings! They're dangly and sparkly and perfect and I wore them at the weekend and got a lot of compliments.
*I road tested this new outfit at the weekend and got hit on by a guy in the tube who must have been about 18! Lol. I'm going to assume he was so drunk he didn't notice my age!
Thoughts? Suggestions? I thought I'd go with jeans rather than a dress because I thought I'd keep it casual. Also I almost always wear a dress and didn't own a pair of jeans for about 6 months until a couple of weeks ago so it's a bit of 180.
Last edited by susana4; 03/10/1501:18 AM.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Well, he was already like a bee buzzing around this morning after I put on the outfit-- "Oh, is that a new top? That's nice." "I like your necklace!! So pretty." "I'm loving all your new outfits"
I'm still feeling a bit frustrated. I know it's impatience, and losing hope. When we were joking around and brushing our teeth this morning, I just kept thinking how anyone looking in would think we were a normal married couple, and not even realise we are heading for D. How can he act the same?! It's just so weird. I just don't see him changing his mind.
My friend said to me the other day (this is why I don't talk to friends about my sitch but he brought it up)-- "I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, but I don't get how you can live with someone that won't tell you what they want". Which isn't true, he has told me what he wants, his actions just don't match his words sometimes. But I am scared, scared my friends are right, I am just setting myself up to get hurt more. Maybe by living together and doing stuff together I'm just prolonging the pain. This is why I have the urge to run away.
There's a scared little girl in me, even though I try to be strong on the outside, and she wants to be safe.
(Eirinn - they lock when they get to 100 posts, usually around 11 pages. You can tell because you can no longer reply)
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
The good news is this seems to be going well. Your H may come around, and if things do get worse he'll have a hard time rewriting history with you demonstrating those changes and having this kind of fun together.
It IS really hard, particularly because this could last a long time. It could get worse. It could last a long time, seem to get better, then he could BD again in a year and actually move out. And living in Limbo WITH the person is so tough. I never really had to, but I can't imagine.
I would remind you to work just as much (if not more) on detachment and GAL as you are on your 180s. You're only 3 months in and early in the evolution of your sitch. I know you're still raw and scared. Please take care of yourself and start putting yourself in a place where you will be ok regardless of the outcome. I don't just mean he stays or leaves...would it be possible to get detached to the point that you don't even care if you stay in limbo for a few years? Think how powerful that would feel. Keep trucking!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Why is it so hard to resist snooping? Even though I have said I wouldn't snoop, just noticed his wallet out on my dresser so had a look (and yes I know there's not going to be anything in it and I had a look through his computer already when he left it unlocked - nothing there either - but I decided to have a look in the wallet *just because it was there* and I couldn't resist). There was nothing of interest in there, just a lot of ATM slips from his ski trip, his bank cards, a coffee loyalty card. The picture of me is still there, next to an old business card of mine (no clue why he's saved that ), he's shoved it to one side though (was in center part before). Trying not to read anything into the fact it's still there, he's probably too lazy to take it out or something. (And this is why I shouldn't snoop!)
I am not sure I agree with the NO SNOOPING rule all the time.
The problem is you need to snoop inside his BRAIN and boy what a mess that would be.
Have you ever seen the story of Princess Kate Middleton's break up with Prince William? She got out and got a life and look where she is now.
Think I might sign up and do the same. Lol. He also got a bit carried away 'comforting' me - after I mentioned the troll, he gave me about 6 hugs (even though I wasn't really that upset), started stroking my hair and then was stroking my arm. He literally looked down at my arm and his hand stroking it, realised he was stroking it, tensed up and pulled his hand back off my arm (still hugging me the whole time though). It is so funny and weird watching him realise when we nearly have a tender moment and then freak out! So strange.
), he's shoved it to one side though (was in center part before). Trying not to read anything into the fact it's still there, he's probably too lazy to take it out or something. (And this is why I shouldn't snoop!)
