Setting Goals

[susana4]

Hi Eirinn, my take is that it's a personal choice (I don't know if others will disagree). If it's your room, and your space, it depends on how you will feel seeing that picture. Will it upset you to see that picture? Or is the display and the other pictures important enough to you that you would rather have the display up and think it will bring you enough joy that it will overshadow any sad feelings you get from seeing the picture of your H? You can always take it down, later, if you feel you need to.

[Elly4]

So, my H just texted me asking if we anything going on March 14 & 15. I said no and he told me he might go away that weekend.

Do I ask him where, ask him anything, or just ignore it?

[susana4]

I think standard advice would be don't ask him anything. Make your own plans for that weekend! Think of it this way - you've got 2 weeks to make great plans for that weekend.

[Elly4]

Help. Did anyone see my last post? Tonight my H came home and told me he is going to NY in two weekends to see a Broadway show with one person. I told him I hope he has fun. Right move or not?

[Elly4]

Just saw your reply Susan. Thanks. Maybe I can set up a play date fun for my son and I.

[Elly4]

Susan, am I doing something wrong? I love talking with you because it seems like we have very similar circumstances and your advice really helps. I'm not getting replies from others though. Like Mr. Bond was asking me some questions and then disappeared. I know you said your threads were locked...or is there something else I can do to open up my thread for other people to view?

[Sotto]

Hi Eirinn

I felt like you when I first started posting. As time went on, I got to know other sitches better and I started posting on their threads. And when you've posted to someone, they'll often come back and post on yours. And in time, you build up some more regular contact with others on the forum.

It can be helpful to look for others who had a similar BD date to yours, as they are likely at a similar stage in the DB journey too. Or have a look at their circumstances and start posting on threads for others in a similar situation to your own.

Best of luch Eirinn!

[Joe46]

Eirinn, I know how you feel. I am in the same boat. I have felt alone all these months with no one to talk to and now people on here started helping me. Than they disappear. It is hard for us and what we are going through. But the others on here have their own lives. Some of them are still here just to help others. Their marriages are already reconciled. I have not been on her very long. I have received some great help. Patience has been hard. I keep reading other peoples situations and read the responses and pick up little things from that. Hope that helps. I don't feel right giving advice as I am learning as well, but I will always listen

[susana4]

Erinn - like Toots and Joe said, I'd say comment on others' threads. You may not feel you have the experience to give advice but there's probably still stuff you can help on. Often we are able to see others' situations more clearly than our own. Or if you can't offer advice, often you can offer moral support. Also, you can learn a lot from other's threads and experiences. If you comment regularly often people will return the favour. Also I think the more active you are and more you post on your own thread, more responses you will get. The threads tend to fall off the first page after time and then people won't find them as easily once they're no longer top of the list. So the more you post, the more they will find their way to the top.

[Elly4]

Thanks everyone! I will try that. I read many posts a day but haven't felt qualified to comment mostly. Reading other's sitches does help a lot though. As I'm in a very rural environment and have a three year old, I battle loneliness at night. Talking on here helps tremendously though!