T0, just saw your update. This is excellent news! I'm so glad things are going well for you. Kudos for being patient and continuing to work on your M even when things seemed like they were falling apart. Way to go!
Me: 30 H: 35 M: 5 years S2 Signs of MLC started Feb 2014 BD - PA July 2014 Piecing/reconciling late July 2014
Things continue to go well. We haven't been to MC since he said he didn't need to see us but it's been almost a month so we will probably go in the beginning of April. The boys started spring break today so I'm excited about that. I took almost 2 weeks off work so who knows what we will get into. I was thinking of a last minute trip to the Bahamas since its relatively close.
My L emailed me because the abatement is up so I just forwarded the email to H last week. He said he has already told his L he has no intention to pursue D so both L's are getting it dismissed.
Sort of good to hear about the MC telling you to stop I really like that you are done with once a week, and are tapering off to once a month. I think weening yourself off is better then cold turkey. Maybe think of once a month, to every other month.
Have you even given consideration to one of the marriage encounter weekends? Or maybe one of the tools DB offers (I really don't know what is/isn't available).
I haven't considered any of the marriage encounters and the only one I've heard of is retrovaille (pretty sure I butchered the name)
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
I just read this thread. I am very curious and will read your story since the beginning.
I think it is pretty normal to be cautious at this point. There are wounds that take time to heal. Fortunately they do, and it seems that you have every good intention to let them heal.
R are complicated, but it seems that your H did repent and is showing he also wants to be a better partner. You know, we all make mistakes one way or the other, but it does not mean we can't see what is really important for us.
When we are babies, we fell a lot before we have a good balance and get the hang of one foot before the other. We are adults now, but we are always learning from our falls, don't we?
I hope and pray that your new R will be strong and true for both of you. Many folks say that if after a S and turmoil a couple get back together, it can be the beginning of a long, lasting and beautiful M.
Sometimes I hesitate to post when it's just a good update bc I don't want people to feel like its rubbed in their faces. When I was in a bad place it was hard for me to read happy things because it hurt.
Thanks Pink - that's a good analogy. I am hoping we both continue to build better habits that will stick with us. I already see changes to how we handle things including conflict.
If it weren't for these boards and the people here I don't know that I would be where I am today.
So TO, keep posting, even if it is just good things.
Your experience, what you said, what you didn't say, the way you handle things, what did work for you, the dark days and tears that you went through, the almost giving up and how you react to things that made you hopeful again. It's all helpful to the folks in this bord.
It is not in any way rubbing in our faces, but it is a way for us to be positive that there is, as minimal as it may be, a possibility of getting our S back in a healthier M.
We know that there are no guarantees, but we came to these boards in hope to learn something to help save our M.
So, people that make it, they are kind of mentors.
And, thanks for being so kind to post on our treads to help us out.
