You are trying to control everything again. First off, you shouldn't have exposed to everyone like that. Since you already have, you can talk about it to your mom and let decide on what to do from there.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
You really need to read the books when you get them. You will find out real fast that it may not work the way you expected it to. By exposing it to EVERYONE, you embarrass your W and they will all look at her in a different light. Why would she want to come back to you if you embarrassed her?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Dancing in less than 24hrs! Looking forward to it. Last night, she checked my phone (again), I havent said anything. Was flashing with a msg when I left it in the kitchen, hr later, no longer flashing. Since she has control of the money, I had to ask for 40 today. I plan onl going out after I go dancing, and having a bite to eat. She was upset today, when she gave me the money...sent me home from work 5hr early as they didnt' want me to go into overtime for the week...absolutely surprised, she was. I sent a txt to her asking if she would get me 40 out...dint mention for what. Wehn I got home, she brought it to the basesmnt....looked pissy... like she knows I'll use it to go out again. GAL is tough. Read the first chapter of DB...sooo unsure what to do. Went to check her email today, pw changed. Now have keylogging software installled. Question: Now that I have the kelogging, ect. installed, if I find something on my computer to someone else, do I "lock" her out with a PW and leave a note saying I'm not enabling the behavoiur, or do I say nothinjg?
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
If you in any way let her know you spied (for example, by locking her out) 1) she will be furious, not that that is your primary concern, but she will be, 2) she (and a L) may school you on the legality of key loggers 3) she will go deeper underground so you don't see what she's doing, so you will effectively lose your intel source for ever after. 4) It is highly improbable that you telling her you "know something" is going to have any positive impact.
You have to be very, very careful in handling anything you learn.
You should really use what you learn only to protect yourself. (financially, legally). Intel is mainly to prevent you from being blindsided. It is useless for pretty much anything else.
And you should realize what you said there... "I'm not enabling the behavior." The thing is, you aren't enabling the behavior, and you can't and shouldn't try to control her behavior. Changing a password is trying to control her. That move will get you nowhere fast; to her, it will justify whatever she is doing because you are such a parental, overbearing so and so.
Gotchya. I'm concerned though. After "I" decided to say, no, you can move, and after "I" got legal counsel, I've noticed nothing. Nothing online in the history regarding lawyers or legal proceedings. I was 'told' that she had contacted 'legal aid' here in Ontario, almost a week ago to get paperwork (whatever that is). But nothing. She looked at housing twice in the last well, 3 weeks alltogether, and it was WAY overpriced. She looked at jobs (something she hasn't had 'no belittlement here') in 6yrs, other than waitress in a bar, and home daycare (which she is good at). Other than that, it's like she's just planning on living in the same house for as long as possible...honestly, it's driving me crazy. I see nothing at all. I cant really say I'm SO surprised, as she doesnt follow through with much (and I dont mean that to be sarcastic or rude). First she was going to be a cop, then an insurance agent, then dropped that after spending hundreds on books, then a real estate agent, then back to insurance, now back to cop. It's tedious. I play with the kids when Im not owrking, even talk to them/interact alot more than I ever have (and I regretted that), but, I dont know what to expect. In detaching, I go out, try to have a good time, meet new people..ect. But I come home, and it's like she's all comfy on a couch and says NOTHING at all. I get so bloody frustrated.
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
@#$%$% up though. Tonight I mentioned my phone. Not angry, nice an calm...How it had stopped blinking last night, when it was left ont he table. She said she didn't check...she was calm, ect. Mentioned maybe the kids took it, but she knows when I came home they were in bed. She knows that "I" know she looked, but, surprisingly calm.
Last edited by Mac00; 02/19/1503:07 AM.
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
Unsure if things are getting to her. With the checking of my phone (the day we had a blowout about who's moving out, and again the night before last), I've noticed she went shopping last night and picked up a bunch of books to read. She doesn't read all that much, normally is a play games on the phone or crossword puzzles sort of person. Hoping reading the (Twighligh) books is for her to keep her mind occupied. Asked my older son if he'd be interested in karate..he's only 5, but wants to learn. Something I'll look into for us to do together. Unsure about conversations with OM. Admittedly haven't heard them chatting early in the morning as of late, perhaps she's just being more careful
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
