MLC W Dates, Part 7

[Wet]

Well, just like that W's plans have changed. She called me and laid out 4 reasons why she is not going to go to Mexico in the morning. Her number one reason was our kids - they have never experienced a close family member's death, and so I am happy she is going to be here in helping our kids deal with the death of their grandmother.

I have never heard my W so articulately lay out a reason why she was doing something. She clearly put some thought into it. I complemented her on her clear reasoning on why she should stay at home rather than fly to Mexico.

W told me she "really" appreciated my willingness to help her and the kids. I am proud of myself for not trying to make her stay at home, or being controlling, or being selfish, or arguing with her. Now we can all focus our thoughts and prayers on W's mom, who is in a lot of pain right now.

[2BHappy]

Wet,

Good job for stepping back and letting W figure it out for herself.

[Wet]

Quick update. Yesterday I spoke with W and got an icky feeling. She told me how grateful she was she had so many "friends" (all new friends, only 1 from our previous life together). That while we were on the deathwatch, waiting for news that her mom had passed, W is telling me she could just pick up and be with her friends at any time, spend time with them, etc. Idk why she was telling me this, but she gets some slack right now. I stay quiet and just listen.

I picked up s13 yesterday from W's place, as we were about to leave, W comes up and we hug. A nice long hug. Now we have not hugged in over 6 months, so this was special. She was just about in tears as she pulled away.

Then late last night W calls me to tell me her mom had passed away. D20 is taking it hard. I'm feeling sad. I'm going to miss my MiL. She was a special woman.

[Jer2911]

Wet -- so sorry for the loss of your MIL. I lost one of mine (W's stepmom) unexpectedly in early May and it was such a blow to our entire family... Was actually a major catalyst for my W's MLC.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.

[Wet]

Thank you Jer 29_11 for your kind thoughts and prayers.

[kat727]

I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there for your kids. Just a quick note: Don't read anything into your W's hug. She just needed a hug then, some comfort. I know you would love for it to mean more, Heck we all would have at some point with our walk aways, but just let it be.

Big hugs, kat

[Wet]

Hi Kat, thanks for your hug!

WHAAAT?! you mean just b/c my W gave me a hug after her Mom passed away, that she's NOT reconciling with me?

Yeah, I know. I purposely stayed away from talking with W over the weekend, or snooping on her (looking for some sign she's changing - sheesh), just b/c I know this is an emotional time for W (really for us both), and I will not prey on her like that. I'm giving her space.

D18 is coming into town this afternoon. W and I and d17 will drive together to pick her up from the airport. W will drive (she never does this) and told me to be at her place "at 1:25 pm". This made me giggle , her precise timing on this. She didn't even know the airport where we're going to, so I may show up a bit early.

It will be good seeing d18 who has not been around for 6 months now (she's going to a school in another state.)

[Wet]

So I ended up driving W and d17 to pick up d18 from the airport. D18 is here for a one week visit. W is crazy - she didn't think my car had heat and its a chilly day. My car has never had problems with the heat. Where she got that idea, I have no idea.

W was very tired, and kept telling me to take the wrong exits /turns, etc. Good thing I drove as I got us there in a strait shot, I had the gate info where we had to go to, and the baggage claim section, and we were there a few minutes before the plane's arrival.

OK, this was great PMA. I was wearing a normal suit and tie (not my power one!) and a black full length leather coat. I was getting some female attention. One of the flight crew came up to me after we locked eyes, and told me that my "coat looked really sharp." I'm not the kinda guy to get out of the blue complements from women, but today it was working.

Not that W noticed. She was spending most of her time locked on her phone. She hasn't done this lately, so this seemed like a set-back. She made a passing comment that she was now "everyone's therapist and marriage counselor"! Oh my, I hope that she gives better advice than she used in our marriage.

We picked up d18, and drove to pick up s13 from his bus stop. W then decided where we were going to eat. I would have preferred to ask d18 where she would like to eat, but no fights today.

Our meal together was great. The kids were having great convo together, and I was just grinning ear to ear. W asked why, and I told her the truth - it was great having the family together.

Did I mention that W is crazy? She ordered a meal, and then said she was going to check out the salad bar. While we were hearing great stories from d18, W is gone. More than 5 minutes later she was still at the salad bar, and did come back with a salad and her phone firmly clutched in her hand. She ended up only eating the salad and taking the meal home in a doggie bag/box.

I got to explain to the children the greatest 4 UK bands, as the restaurant was playing some music (in case you're interested in order they are U2, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and The Who.) This caused a bit of a row, as d18 likes the Beatles better. It was just a lot of fun to have our family back together.

I drove everyone back to W's place and she invited me up. I politely declined. W asked again, but no, I had work to do, and again W was an emotional mess (no sleep and crying a lot), so I made the right call to stay away. But it was a lot of fun, and I was a good dinner companion for our family.

[Wet]

"Good luck finding love..." So starts my W's latest dating website profile. Yes, I snooped. W was warming up to me last week or two. So I hurt myself by seeing what the truth is with W. And yes, it hurt for about an hour or so this afternoon..

W seems to be going thru some depression - who starts their dating profile like that? What hurt most is that I know my W and I were in love, and that in the past we had a good marriage. But now she is cynical about love, or at least her chances of finding love on dating sites. Oh well, time to get my focus back on me and our children.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Oh my, I hope that she gives better advice than she used in our marriage.

Funny. : )

Well you know why she was on the phone so much now with the new website.

Snooping has its place and purpose, however once that purpose has been met, you have an answer or insight...continued snooping is sort of like sticking a fork into the wall socket again and a again and again.

Now...maybe you enjoy that, in which case might I recommend 50 Shades of Grey, but if not, no reason to do that to yourself until until you need to verify intentions later.