All of our common friends don't believe that H has a girlfriend because he never mentions her. So I'm in the position of assuring them that yes indeed he not only has a girlfriend, he talks about her all the time to my D14 and is busy adjusting the parenting plan so that he can have her spend the night while my daughter is with him. He just wants everyone to think he's a good guy, and to do that he has to lie and be deceitful about what he's really up to. What a loser.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Thanks rd -- no, he calls his OW his "serious long-term partner" -- no matter that their relationship is primarily online, and that they've spent less than a month in each other's presence. He is in the thick of the fog, and I'm happy to leave him there. My skies are clear, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (meaning the divorce process)! I don't plan to waste my life dealing with a deranged narcissist. It's too short and beautiful to waste it in that way! I'm happier on my own, and might be happy with someone else in the future -- who knows?
I'm only irritated that he is deceiving our friends when ostensibly the whole point of his moving out was to "find his true self" -- but I guess his true self is a dishonest, deceitful person. Glad I know now. It makes it much easier to move on.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
A family member just shared with me the advice given by my great-grandmother to my grandmother when her cheating husband walked out on her: 1. Keep a good thought (meaning, I assume, don't allow your mind to fixate on negative thought cycles) 2. Take the reins of your own life
I was so glad to have this advice today. I am particularly working on the "good thought" part. I feel like I'm already taking the reins of my life by pushing forward with my independence and upcoming move. Some would call that giving up, I suppose, but I call that moving forward.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Happy Valentines Day, all. Your support over these past months has meant so much to me.
I found out yesterday that H wants to sell the marital home after all. Of course, this means that I will have to do all the work to get it ready and show it. I guess I should be used to that by now. Woke up at 5:30 am and started throwing things out, gathering things for goodwill, and cleaning. It's cathartic, but also sad. This was our dream home. I painted every inch of it, for the most part by myself. It's just a house, so I can say goodbye, but it's also saying goodbye to our years here as a family, and that makes me sad. I'm missing my D14 today. I'm missing my family. I'm trying to keep a PMA for myself, but am failing a bit today.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Hugs to you, Ahoy. STBX also asked that we sell our marital home which I've made pretty clear is fine by me... but I don't intend to do ANY of the work. I'll move out. Beyond that, he can deal with it. Because this is what HE wants. Anyway you can push some of these tasks off on your STBX?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Well, I have to stay in the home until the end of D14's school, since I'm moving after that back to home state, and really can't afford to move twice, or afford rent and half the mortgage. Also, I don't want to uproot my daughter before it's necessary. Maybe I can get him to help with the yard work. Honestly, I'd rather do it myself than have to interact with him, or have him over here. I guess I'm just feeling like a whiny baby today.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Ahoy- Moving ain't fun. I am having painful sense memories remembering all the sneezing fits I had clearing out of the last house. Hugs to you!
I know you don't want to deal with STBX (I tend to be this way) but I also agree with Maybell. I assume you guys are splitting the proceeds of the house? Then he should compensate you in some way for all the work you are doing (keep a log of all the hours).
Hi Aboy its ok to feel down today. You will have great memories of valentines days from the past. You will have great memories in the future as well. I have no doubt You ah e been very strong since I started readi g your posts but of course you will ha e bad days , if you didn't that would be a real problem.
Your H is missing out , I don't care what OW has to offer she is not you. There will be a day when your H realise this but it looks like it will be to late for him
