Part 12 - Contents may vary

[edz]

Well good eveeeeeening all.

Just cooking dinner so 5 minutes to catch up and post.

W called this afternoon whilst I was on a conf call. Called her back no mention of card so didn't bring it up. Ostensibly called to ask me to pick up some bits from the garage (mil is putting the contents of their garage in there - aaand thats not my argument so letting her let them walk all over her as always anyways moving on) said sure no worries w then was decompressing over s and his screen hang up, resisted mentioning she gave him an old mobile but did suggest she look at time limiting apps we spoke about his h.e. simply said that regardless of our outcome we should look to maybe get a tutor or similar (I think the shine on 24/7 contact and teaching may be a little scuffed at present) reiterated I'm happy to get involved around weekend events and after work.

Was a nice conversation but she needed to get off and deal with s so told her go. Went around this evening and picked up the bits some are mixed hers and mine she said ok bring back what's hers also asked me to take S's fish tank I said we really should ask him but she said no take it so fine will set it up this weekend for him and let him pick a new fish.

Went in for a coffee and a short chat, could see card unopened on the bookcase so didn't mention it.

We both briefly had a chat with s over coming off screens when asked, petted the other cat and headed off to get on with dinner. W asked for a hand with the rubbish (they have a big paladin bin and her back is bad, s can't reach) trying not to do too much for her but equally dont want to be awkward so sorted.

Now home and dinner on. Meh not a bad interaction but I always feel like I'm summoned to talk and then she stops herself, for now ok but every time I feel a bit more like there's less to save maybe...mm not sure.

Anyway on with the curry, back later!

[Dawn70]

Enjoy your curry!

[edz]

Bft and I did, I got the curry and rice bft had me removing the curry and feeding her chicken, not sure which of us is worse!

[Sotto]

Evening Edz, you sound a little pensive following your interactions with your W. Sorry she hasn't opened the card yet.....but who knows, maybe she is saving it until the day?

I'm thinking of sending a joint text to H and SS. We often celebrated Valentines together, so I thought I might stick to the same approach as at Xmas and see what happens. Not sure yet, but thinking about it, and want to be able to do it with no expectations.

Yoga GAL for me tonight....are you looking forward to your new gym regime?

[edz]

Hi toots

Not worried about her opening the card, as you say not the day. Also sticking to the mantra, no expectations!

Less pensive tonight than Monday, full of curry for a start just a bit confused and,yes,sad that she seems to be revved up to chat then.....says nothing sometimes.

Also a bit fed up on my own but on the whole ok this evening!

Yes surprisingly looking forward to the gym providing its not full of uber fit 20something's!

[Vanilla]

No addiction in my family really but lots of issues growing up with parents and grandparents, not going to take over your thread though, come over if you want to chat on it. I do understand some of the control and manipulation aspects of it though because of that, obviously MIL narcissism on w is another problem entirely but not one I can solve which I've finally accepted.

Originally on Vs thread following discussions of alcoholic parents.

What do you see as the main issues Edz?

Parents and grandparents?

V

[edz]

Hi v

In my case mum was always I'll and indeed died at 45 so she was loving overcompensated and spoiled me when she was there, my dads job took him away for months at a time (non military) which left me with our live in grandparents.

My nan was ok if not the most approving sort but my grandfather was old,old school and controlling and manipulating in the extreme.

I had no real choice but to grow up early, by 9 I was sharing in chores (big stuff, washing,ironing,shopping solo) and school and trying to keep them both ok if my mum was in hospital.

Honestly I dont know if he was an alcoholic but if not he was close, home brew 3 litre or the 70s equiv of it of beer every night and what we would now call abusive to nan. Yet he was always the victim of life he would say. He also manipulated my mother and distanced my dad.

I think my dad always resented them being there (mums parents)
As well.

Didn't realise a lot of the issues I had and why I had problems relating to s until I had counciling last year and realised hes going through a childhood I missed out on so I have issues relating, that plus internalised frustration at w distancing me put me in a bad place. I'm not saying I'm deliriously happy now of course but I think this is better than those dark days.

Thanks for asking v

[edz]

So I noticed w listed up on fb that she had issues sleeping and ended up using a meditation app until she wok up at 3am. Wonder if that was the mindfulness one Jim was talking about?

Anyway no contact to me.off on a conf call the first of many today in a mo. Another fairly dull one ahead as far as I know today. But well see what I can make of it by this evening.

Will check in when I can guys. Fewer posts this week maybe a little related to my moods but work is tapping me out as well. Oh well at least I'm sleeping in bed by 9:30 every night so far.

[Ggrass]

Of to bed with the chicks I meant chooks.

Sleep is good, not working this week reset my bad habbit of fiddling on the net and watching tv till midnight at times.

[edz]

Night Gg get a good sleep and feel better. Doubtless catch you later today (my time)