Part 12 - Contents may vary

[Vanilla]

I doubt that you have a bear brain. And it any case you are nearer the stars than the rest of us.

I have been reading with pride and great joy of your weekend with S. The question is for Edz, how does Edz hang on to the glow after S is home?

That wonderful feel good cosy like the Lidl blanket. That has to be a really big DB step.

Really pleased for Edz and S

And of course the BFT in non squeak mode.

V

[Ggrass]

Toots mr fixit was actually dating my ms do it my way I know how to fix that.

Perhaps they broke that!

Stormy day here today, all out side surf has been cancelled lightning and thunder scares me. Dogs are shivering as close to me as possible the biatch is alternating between pacing and hiding in my arm pit. She's not so brave at times.

Hope your dreaming nice dreams edzs. I did some cute dude rescued me.

[edz]

Hi gg

Glad your dreams were warm and fuzzy, not sure on mine alarm drove through them like a lorry today whaaaaaa!

Think Mr fixit and ms are still on he decided to pay me a visit is all. Better today

[gan]

So Edz - any discussion around next weekend? We just passed hump day over here. Only 2 days to the next one!

[edz]

Well first chance to take a break and coffee, mmm coffeee.

Not much to report on, as posted went to bed early as I had an early conf call today. New laptop working but missing a lot of software which the desktop support team have so far failed to, well, support. Never mind enough to let me carry on.

Was not with it this morning, managed to nick the lobe on my nose shaving which always takes an eternity to stop bleeding as it flexes and starts again (just above the filtrum) also makes it itchy and if you rub it off we go again!

Did drop an extremely toned down card round to w while I know she is out with s at ice skating. Nothing mushy, no long rambling declarations of love or pursuit just a card aknowledging the day. Hard call to make as she tunes in and out but it felt the better option than not.

No "wife" or love yous at all just a valentine card to mark the day. We'll see if it was right or not I suppose.

So now just working, remembered to get the chicken out for a nice curry tonight which im looking forward to and other than that not much going on but work really.

Feel better in myself now, as V, toots, jim,ganb8te and more of you kind people mentioned need to find a way to sort the down swing when s goes back or if w & s visit and then go. Those are my "danger" times when I plumit. Sometimes I can just haul my sorry behind to the pool etc and work through but sometimes not, also need to watch out for comfort eating then - resisted it so far!

Anyway, people to do things to talk to....err no strike that, reverse it.

Catch you all later.

[Ggrass]

Tis ok, my ms I know how to do that let me it for you, goes wild over time rhc.

That's why I tend to think that's not a smart one to date, no matter how much the ego wants to.

[edz]

So Edz - any discussion around next weekend? We just passed hump day over here. Only 2 days to the next one!

Now you need to be careful with names like hump day around here G!

So far, friday im off to the gym which im looking forward to, treadmill and some upper toning to start with then maybe a swim.

Saturday picking up small stuff, not sure on the itenary yet as we'll see what the weather is like, maybe a trip bowling as a suprise then lunch out. S will stay over sat night and sunday morning may try making pancakes for him then he'll probably want some downtime.

As to valentines, well dropped a card off to wife which was the least valentinesy valentines I could find but seemed the right thing to do, not breaking the contact / pursuit rules but certainly seeing how bendy they are, pretty much down to me still having difficulty reading whether she likes being in constant touch and is testing the waters, just wants friends but is aware of my boundry or if "thing" is still, well, a thing. As always if she sounds interested I'll throw a no strings invite re bowling or whatever but if shes not interested no worries, no expectations is becoming a thread running through me like rock now...

Hows about you?

[edz]

Tis ok, my ms I know how to do that let me it for you, goes wild over time rhc.

That's why I tend to think that's not a smart one to date, no matter how much the ego wants to.

Yes worries me slightly that if w and I dont r and I look to a new r then I'm going to have to muzzle mr fixit to want to solve their problems as well as the codependency monster being caged up.

How about rhc as a buddy for now? May be nice for him too and may be a comfort if he's scared of committing too much as yet. Never know may become something else later. Despite some mental pictures (steady now) still trying to get an idea of your locale, is it very rural or are there new places you can get to go explore and see who you can meet, get new interests etc?

Of course also depends if thats what *you* want right now matey, are you happy just seeing the view for now? Nothing wrong with that, I get from your posting on the dream (not to mention some ive had) its tempting and comforting to just want to find and be with someone who wants to be with you too right now, one reason to take things slowly and decide what you want and why you want it

[Ggrass]

I don't know where I am, and to be honest I, sure that comes thru.

Early on I decided you know what sinlge for ever sounds good. Then perhaps casual see what comes along.

I live far enough from even the cloest town that most will phone before dropping in. Work is 40min commute. Rhc lives close to an hour commute to town where I work.

Light and friendly is where it is, if he actually rocked up to our dinner and being where it is he could as he's been invited. If I can get over myself I will invite again. I might die of exciotment, so much about him is actually a 180 on h.

[edz]

Well the advice from the non mr fixit in me is if you're honest with yourself you know how much you're willing to share of your (no puns here right now) personal space, how far into that bubble you're happy for people to be.

It comes across as very clear you're into rhc, as weve both said it may be tricky to supress you're ms i can fix that but I think you both know what its like to be hurt, just take things at your pace and where you're comfortable to go, ok