Part 12 - Contents may vary

[Ggrass]

Oh edzs

I was refearing to eating my dinner! Lol but you knew that.

It's tough if you don't like being home alone. I watched pitch perfect last nigh often was just wandering trying to get stuff done while listening to the music. Perhaps loud music can fill the space?

[edz]

Thanks gg...ah I see

Yes its the quiet and emptiness. Do exactly that when it gets too much.

Well have to get going this morning. Office today.

[jim0987]

Morning edz.

Hope your feeling better this morning and reflecting on the awesome positive that you had S for 3 nights

Its to be expected as a bit of regression to the mean, the bigger the upswing the more you'll notice the downswing a bit like going back to work after an awesome holiday feels harder than a normal monday.

But thats where the whole be grateful and optimistic comes in - potentially its only 3 or 4 nights til you have S again.

[edz]

Morning Jim

Yes not too bad today, deliberately chose to be in the office this morning rather than WFH.

Yup it was pretty awesome friday night, sat, sat night, sun, sun night, monday to 5:30 thats pretty amazing given a few months back.

Really I just still feel lost on w, i want to move on either with her or without but there are certain things I simply cant do while I have this limbo state and its frustrating. Especially since s and I have made soooo much progress in our r.

Its all just impatience and I know that, I'll have it back under control today

[edz]

Quick swim tonight as the pool was manic busy but got a 45 minute go.

Finished the casserole off mmmm. S hasn't been well today apparently w sent me a jokey email this morning saying ok, think you broke him but he must be fairly ok as they went up to the shopping centre and I think s was at the game store.

Other than that chaotic day at work dealing with multiple teams who didn't seem to be talking to each other and just chilling out now.

Still feel a little low but from a really would like someone here apart from bft, she's great and furry but not much of a conversationalist!

So meh, ok day but nothing great.

[rd500]

Hi Edz. Sounds a little like a down swing after the up swing of the great weekend with your S The good thing is you had the up swing !

Stay positive mate , who I owe what's around the corner ?

Take care. Rd

[edz]

Hi rd

Yeah I know, who could have predicted where I am now with s. Just feels a little low after such a good time and a bonus Monday to boot.

[edz]

Firstly not doing anything, know better, but really having a tough time wondering is there something I should be reaching out to w.

Seems were in an orbit around each other right now and I dont see her making any moves towards talking or going or getting closer. Probably Mr fixit getting fed up with his Lego definitely triggered by being back by myself after s being here for an extended stay.

Never mind. I'm honestly relaxed, gal swimming tonight nice dinner glass of wine and headed for bed as it was a long day and an early start tomorrow. Just feel pensive and dont know what to do to break this stasis, talk, dont talk, dont pursue fair enough but then....what?

[Sotto]

You should maybe get Mr Fixit one of those bigger Lego Technic sets. Take the instructions out, but he still needs to build the monster truck. That should keep him going for a while.

I know what you mean anyway. I think you have to trust the process here. In recent weeks, you and your W have been in a pretty good place - that's great. But I like RD's analogy of stars and planets. You may see lots of little stars, which could indicate a change of heart. What are your stars? Sitting on the couch under a rug, talking, her texts about nothing important. But, what you need is a planet. And until you have a planet, or unless you decide you're done - you just need to keep on keeping on.

Maybe shift your focus....how did you get on at the gym? Did you join in the end? And what about another GAL activity for the lovely Edz?

BFT isn't conversational? One of my friends has a talking dog. He doesn't bark when you arrive, but you can hear him in the kitchen going gwooargaoooooorgg. He's very conversational!

[edz]

Hi toots, yup signed up for the gym was sposed to go Sunday but had s an extra day. We will be sorting out some gym clothes so he can come with me, meantime I'm going friday.

Bft meeps and makes sorrowfull yelps but only at dinner times, or when her sofa is occupied by pesky pink blobs who are only good for dinner preparation and making comfy beds...

I suppose the planets look so close through a telescope I'm looking to make a rocket, keeping on so far has got me here, were talking after a sort, s and I are doing well and w respects that and is happier with us being together. I know w knows how I feel she doesn't need to be told again but how she feels? Nothing since august/sep on that one no movement away or back.

Its all a little confusing for a bear of little brain like lil old me