Part 12 - Contents may vary

[jim0987]

Vanilla, very interesting train of thought particularly given my in house experience. I don't want to read too much into it as we can't believe what they say but at a point if upset my wife did say she could see knew I was improving myself but she 'doesn't want to see it'

I think its about a balanced differentiation, too much change looks like a crisis or panic reaction. Gradual but distinct I think is probably best as its most credible and preserves that link to who you were. At work we talk about salami slicing budgets.

Edz, how is your wife's body language toward you these days?

And another extended weekend with S thats gotta be good, irrespective of anything else.

[edz]

Hi Jim

Well she's not backing out of rooms anymore! She seems more open to sitting and listening but it seems to come and go. Thats got to be an improvement. She's posted on fb (not to me directly) to say she's feeling fluey. Could be she's just tired due to neighbours and cat again who knows

Yup been a busy one today went to my dads and I now have 4 kitchen chairs not 2 and a set of stepladders. Once back we went to tesco (no onsies today gg) and got food for today and tomorrow as well as some new t shirts for me PJs for s and some new jeans not to mention a butter dish hey what can I say I just roll like that.

Made chicken jalfraize with naan and rice for dinner, made it milder than normal but a bit warm for s he still eat about a third of an adult portion though. He's headed off for an early night as he's pooped and has his media player on.

[Sotto]

Hi Edz, sounds like a nice day! Funny, your W has gone from being so sensitive about S staying more than a night to pretty flexible. Nice that you get to have a couple of nights with him more now. Sounds like you wore him out though!

We had a nice lunch today with a friend of M&D's. She is in her 70s and very intrepid. Daughter lives in Nepal, and this lady loves to trek, sail down the Amazon, hike in Peru etc. She's a very interesting woman and very social.

She and her H S years ago after he was unfaithful. They never D, and are on reasonable terms now. But, she's a good example of a (single) life well lived following marital breakdown. She has lots of friends and interests, travels and is very kind hearted.

Anyway....complete digression.....glad you had a good day Edz! :-)

[edz]

sounds an interesting person to share a meal with toots.

Yup good day. Chilling out you'll never guess where..yup under the throw on the sofa

Both worn out today, not sure on tomorrow since I'm not sure how w will be. Sent her an email this evening saying I hope she feels better I'd dropped another bottle of wine off for her for the weekend so I hoped she enjoyed it and let me know if she needs anything and what sort of a time she needs s back.

It is indeed an interesting turnaround. A few weeks or months now ago you may remember I had a call with her on the fact that I knew s visiting was an issue for her which she denied. I said no, it is an issue, I knew why - I dont deny my issues before bd and god only knows how hard I've worked to turn that around with s - it does seem regardless of our r w has seen that. Could all change on a pinhead as always nothing is set in stone but this kind of situation with s staying would have been unthinkable, w calling and chatting for 45 minutes, calling for breakfast and coffee, having wine noooo way 2 sentence texts was it.

I try hard not to read into it, yes its improving but its easy to slip into thinking it means w is changing her thoughts on r and m which of course is not necessarily the case. I have to be careful on my expectations which can make it difficult sometimes as change can seem really close when it may not be.

[jim0987]

Expectations, they'll get ya every time if they let them.

I remember reading your posts before you moved and its difficult to convey how pleased I am to see the improvements you've had (irrespective of r with your w). A 2 night stay by s was unthinkable and now look. Really happy for you edz

That throw is getting a ton of use

[edz]

It is a very warm and fuzzy throw, £7 special from lidl

Thanks Jim yup no way was this thinkable before.

Its really impatience I have to fight. When you take a long term view lots has happened in 6 months no time by dB standards.

[Ggrass]

If she is letting s out of her care for lots of nights perhaps it's making her social life easier. It's not about beining nice to edzs.

There is always an om possibility. I didn't think there was in my stich, h carried on like the worlds most honoable man. All lies I now know. Do appreciate posatives don't get to confident and start assuming.

I did it wasn't pretty. Like others I looked at the before picture.

The points vanilla makes are good ones. In my sitch at 6 months h was still calling me fat and revolting. I was thinner than dream ow. Still thinner than dream ow. People still stop me and comment.

Oh this feel in my lap ow had one previous partner that she hooked up with while he was married and she was the reason the marriage ended. Nice classy woman.

Just a reminder it's all about them not you. Don't get to feeling too special.

[edz]

Hi gg

Oh no illusions of fluffy bunnies and flowers, I have reasons to believe there isn't anyone else which are connected to "thing" but its always a possibility and unless I go into full on snoop mode not likely to...at least yet.

[Ggrass]

Good, you do know in the past I could shoot bunnies?

Looks like not much changed. These days tho, fluf bunnies rein under the couch.

[edz]

Ha! Well dont get them mixed up or could prove expensive in sofas!



Feeling better?