train, 25yrs, others who kept up on my sitch

[Jefe]

Wow, Twin. You have an interesting series of dynamics going on in your relationship and within him.

Just the way you describe him above, you do so lovingly, I know you want to save your marriage. Is he committed?

[zew]

Jefe - you really should read Twin's threads - there's a lot of back story there. Twin is doing well to maintain a very cautious skepticism re H.

[twinmom]

Jefe, that's a good question..... I don't know, so I just asked....

"Depends on the day"

[kml]

Twin...he's a serial adulterer and a previous gambling addict who just swapped one addiction for another. You're focusing on crumbs when really he's not showing you any of the behaviors that would go with a sincere effort to address his issues and repair his relationship with you.
I know it's convenient to have him around right now with the baby, but don't get sucked back in to the relationship unless he DOES THE WORK.

[twinmom]

Kml, I know you and train are right. I wish you weren't but you are.

[Train]

Hugs, twin.

[twinmom]

Just kind of journaling.....
I had come up with a really good line to put an end to the morning kiss goodbye..

"I'm worth so much more than just a kiss goodbye every morning"

But both Monday night and Tuesday night H reached over in bed and touched me and kissed me. So darn, that line won't work right now..... just going to have to set a firm boundary of don't touch me...

[twinmom]

Can I just say I am tired!!!!!!

Working like a CRAZY person the past few weeks and H has inventory tomorrow so he has been putting in 14hr days this entire week.

I think I might go sleep in my van if I can get a babysitter for an hour tomorrow!

On a positive note I was assigned an AWESOME mystery shop for a color (highlights), cut and blow dry downtown Chicago at Sassoon Salon...... I get paid $25 to get a $350 hair service. I have been doing little crappy jobs for this company and really putting a lot of effort into them hoping they would assign me one of the awesome jobs.

I am still "paying my dues" with another company that does a lot of the high end hotels downtown Chicago and the casinos.... can't wait to get paid to indulge at the spa, gamble and kick back at a 5 star hotel with room service!

Oh well, I will keep doing the little jobs like McDonald's, Exxon, Lowe's, Yankee candle, North Face, etc......

Does this count as GAL???

[unbidden]

TM, I've been reading a book called something like Make Up, Don't Break Up and there is a chapter on infidelity and one of the author's theories is that adultery results sometimes from the cheating spouse's unconscious desires to resolve childhood attachment woundings and that serial cheaters sometimes have had a change in hormones in childhood which makes the rush of adultery more impactful to them. Anyway, it has whole chapters on forgiveness and she refers to some of the feelings you've described here. Might be worth a look.

Hope you had a great time at the salon! I miss Chicago.

[twinmom]

Thanks unbidden..... I am going to search for that one now on Google play