Not much of a cheese shop, is it?

[Lifes Twists]

The spousal support does not surprise me. A lot of states are starting to look at it as more a life style equalizer. They look at how much each spouse makes and then the difference is split in half and awarded as support for a period of years. If both you and smokie are making about the same amount then they may not give any. If he is making less, then count your blessings if you don't have to pay him support. What your lawyer told you was only to tell you what he thought you wanted to hear.

What I would do at this point is to see if you can have the child support handled through the state. They probably have a system where he would have to send the support check to the state and then they would issue one to you. This way if he does not pay then the state has the record and can go after him.

[LoisB]

Thanks Life.

I'm feeling a bit better about the spousal support issue.

I talked to my atty and he said they tried to equalize the incomes. And, with the current temp order, I actually come out ahead. Is it fair? Nope. I have a child to support without any help from him...he has a "roommate" who helps pay his rent...my atty brought both those issues up with Smokey's atty...and, it sounds as if Smokey is a bit upset with the judge's decision. Boo Hoo.

But, Smokey's atty said they would agree to the temp support order if we did. I said OK.

In other news, the perfectionist editor called me at 10 p.m. last night. Huh? About something that could've easily been handled via email. It's either feast or famine with this guy.

Paper is out.

[LoisB]

Oh, and the spousal support can be revisited. He said the temp support doesn't necessarily mean that's what I would get in a trial.

At this point, I'm just happy the judge has made a decision and it looks like the child support issue may be put to rest. I'm so tired of living like this, worrying about my car payment and rent...

I plan on using the anger from the unfairness of it all to get really buff :-)

I'm not sure I will receive the promised phone call from Smokey now that this issue is floating about. I think Smokey is afraid of his atty...everyone is afraid of his atty...so, we will probably sink back into the hole now that he's spoken to him.

I'm faxing Smokey's handwritten divorce settlement to my atty today.

My atty is upset with me for giving him the tool narrative. IDK. I just want this done.

[job]

I can understand why your lawyer is upset w/you concerning the tool narrative. The reason is that you are paying your lawyer to represent you and keep you from getting into even more hot water. How can he represent you if you give this type of info to your h w/o his knowledge? It's one thing to provide it to an investigator, but another to give it to your h, especially when you have already told him a couple of times what happened to the tools. The investigator will put the tool issue to rest once he's completed his report and hopefully he will provide a full report to the insurance company as well as to your h's lawyer and him.

Heather, your h is not your friend at the moment...he fired you from being his wife and you have to look at him in a business way and trying to get things done quickly and going around your lawyer is not the way to do it. I know you want this done, but you need to work w/your lawyer and ask questions before you hand over things to your h. Your h was being friendly (again) because he's looking for info, not because he wants to be friendly. Once the divorce and the financials are finalized then you may be able to consider being on friendly terms because the only thing you'll need to worry about are the support payments. Until then, he's not your h, but a business partner who has flown the coop.

You got some very good advice about having the child support payments be paid directly to the "state" and then having them issue you a check. That way, it's a checks and balance situation and the proof will always be transparent as to him paying on time and not missing a payment.

Don't assume anything when it comes to your h. If he were afraid of this lawyer, he wouldn't have hired him. He was hired because he knows the law and knows how to skirt the issues. Now, he may be afraid of what the bill will be, but no, I don't think he's afraid of his lawyer, it's more like he wants to get this over and done w/ as soon as possible and pay as little as possible to you.

Now, things may change w/that handwritten divorce settlement that your h sent to you. He may come back and say that he was not thinking clearly and has decided that's not what he wanted. You need to prepare yourself just in case this is the case. The MLCers like to play games and will say and do things one time and then the next time the game has changed again.

As for the perfectionist calling you around 10 last evening, are you on call 24/7? You may need to set a boundary as to when the calls can come in late in the evening.

[Lifes Twists]

Job is correct in telling you to bounce things off your attorney at this point. My wife chose not to and it cost both of us with her first attorney. One time she told me she got a pay raise, but not her attorney. When we ended up in a special masters session, my attorney presented different info than her attorney. Her attorney argued my attorney did not have his facts straight and she had the proof. Then I saw my wife whisper to her attorney, and an angry look come over her attorney's face. She then had to back track her statements and lost a great deal of ground in that session. So, if you are going to work with an attorney, then keep him in the loop.

[LoisB]

My atty told me I shouldn't give the narrative to the investigator. I tried to send it, but it bounced back. I think I had the email wrong. So, the investigator doesn't have it. But, Smokey does. I didn't, however, give my atty permission to give it to his atty. So, at this point, I think it's hearsay. IDK.

I get why I shouldn't have done it. I also get why I did it. I hadn't heard from my atty in weeks and weeks and I can't afford to pay him...Smokey had sent me this written proposal. So, I was hoping this would put the issue to rest.

[LoisB]

I'm too trusting. I know. I have wanted so desperately for the man I knew to return. It's my weak link.

He fired me and replaced me. Idiot.

[LoisB]

The support check he sent me was rejected. He put a stop on it.

That means no support for January. Why?

[LoisB]

I'm kinda flipping out right now.

I could lose my car and the house we live in. I need that money he promised me.

That's why I sent those narratives, because I had reached my limit waiting for money. I was desperate and needed him to pay.

I bet his atty has advised him to shut me down.

I will have to borrow money from my mom.

[LoisB]

It could take another month or more before the court money is put into place. My atty told me yesterday.

They are starving me out so I will make nice on the deferred comp money.