5mo pregnant H wants divorce or to see other women

[Karma12]

I got a text last night from STBX. I posted on my thread in Newcomers. Can you check in and advice? Thx!

I hope you are getting the rest you need. You need a Mummy break.

[Mom22]

Just checked.
Went to a house warming last night. Alone of course. Was great!
H. Has been very helpful and sweet last 2 nights and yesterday. I need that bc D wakesup at 5-5:30 for the last 3d and Im so exhausted.
Offered to give me his tv if I move. Then bought a new one for him. Appreciated the gesture but I was like he could have used half of that €650,- to pay more towards his debt to me. Pfffff. Some things never change #selfish#

[Karma12]

Funny mine bought a new TV and gave me the old one before I moved too!

I think in their mind it makes them look generous plus they get a newer TV lol

Glad he's been helping a bit more with your daughter. It's the least he can do. You are carrying his baby!

Going out alone is hard at first. It's important though to just get out sometimes.

Thanks for your advice on my thread. I think that's what I feel most comfortable doing.

[Mom22]

I agree. Selfish kinda selflesness.
Im at my moms for the night now (w my daughter if course). Hoping i get some rest tonight.

[Karma12]

Hey Mom22, I took ur advice and waited until today to respond to the text. All I said was " sounds like a lot of work and stress. Hope it all works out." I sent that today at 2pm. He responded again at 9tonight he said " yes it was a lot of work and stress! Hope it goes well" I did not respond and he just texted again. Hi how are things? I met with Steve tonight for a bit," that is him trying to engage me. I know Steve and normally would ask about it. I did not reply. I am going on a coffee date tomorrow. It's like he feels the shift! WTF!

[Mom22]

Great. Leave at least 2 days between replying and keep it neutral.
This is him suddenly feeling the dustance growing. I wouldnt have any hopes if I were you, but it's good he's realizing there is a change!

I bid on an appartment last Friday but havent heard back.
H was helpful this weekend and said he really enjoyed Saturday that we spent as a family. Sunday I took D to my mom and stayed there.
Im moving on but am grateful that he's not been horrible or difficult these last few days. Knock on wood.

[Karma12]

Oh good luck with your bid! I'm glad the last few days have been better.

I went on a coffee date yesterday! It lasted three hrs and we are going out again tonight. Moving on in my life. I also met a new group of women. I had taken myself out for a bite to eat and ended up chatting with them. They are a variety of ages and careers and just meet up when they can for a dinner or drinks. They invited me to join them. Lol Weird how when the time is right doors start to open

[Mom22]

It sounds great Karma.

Im thinking of leaving the forum as I've realised this divorce is happening and i dont want to change it with him being the person he is now. And insists on being.
I think theres nothing more (besides me leaving and him thus discoveting real life instead of fantasy life) that I can do to make him realize he's not fixing anything by leaving.

[job]

Mom,
You don't have to leave the forum just because the divorce is going to happen. This forum is for anyone that needs support and you will need support for quite some time. Even though the divorce will take place, there will still be a few twists and turns that may toss you about for a while. There are a few of us here who are divorce, but we stay on to assist others and also seek advice/support as we walk the Yellow Brick Road.

We are here for you no matter the outcome.

[Mom22]

Hey Job. Thanks, thats really nice to say.
Right now I hope he will maybe one day change his mind. So maybe Im still in to the DB a bit. Though maybe in a year I wont want that anymore, who knows.
I ve been seeing signs of remorse last week (like 1st time saying he wish he could turn back time and not have the 2nd affair, asking if maybe we should try again). But he still says he just wants to be with other women. He doesnt want the responsability of a relationship. So he'd just be having me around 'on the side'. I dont want that. Or my daughters to think this is ok.
My bid on the appartment got accepted. Unless seller chsnges het mind im signing in 4days. Then if course i still need to get a mortgage. But Im going through with this.