T0324 continued part 4

[claire7]

T0,
I haven't posted on your thread in a while but I have been reading. From my vantage point (a very limited view, I know), your H sounds ill. Depressed, yes... but I've wondered lately whether it's even more--like bipolar. His behavior seems so wacky. Is there any history of mental illness in his family? Or is this just MLC behavior?

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[sandi2]

H came home with a brand new expensive car tonight.

. OMG!! He is nuts........or full blown MLC. I am so sorry, TO. Will be interesting to know how he acquired that, since he has never been this broke in his life. Maybe a payoff, bribe, or gift?

It looks as if he is intentionally pushing your buttons to make him leave.

Can you place an emergency call to the MC to know how to respond......or do you already know how you plan to do it?

(((TO)))

[sandi2]

Claire makes a good point. Could account for his extreme mood swings, maybe? Perhaps the MC has detected some signs.

[T384]

So he came home. I went out. I congratulated him

I asked him if in the future he could please include me in big decisions. He told me he's not arguing with me ( I said it very calm no arguing). I said I'm not arguing H I'm just asking. I feel so excluded from your life and decisions. We are partners. He said no it's just me being controlling and walked away.

He came inside and kissed the boys and left.

He also told me he's not going to MC with me this week. That the appointment is for me alone. The C Thinks it's best if we do IC and not MC.

[T384]

I also told H enough with the games. Just be honest and say what you want. I am not going to fight about it. If it's divorce so be it.


I didn't get a response. He can't deal with confrontation and telling the truth

[T384]

By the way I know we aren't suppoosed to talk about other books but I bought HTIYMWTAI and his needs / her needs

Thanks all for listening to me vent.

[TenBook]

TO I've been reading your stories and it's been such a journey.

You have done so much and endured even more.

My best to you.

[Gerda]

No, this is him in total MLC!!! Reading through this post somewhat quickly, it sounds very clear to me. I thought my husband had become manic or snapped or whatever until I heard about MLC. Now I know, and as I watch what unfolds, he follows the script. It's comforting to know that these behaviors are "normal." I am waiting mine out and improving myself. It's PAINFUL but in many ways I am so thankful because it all forced me to completely transform myself. Have you read Wonka's posts on MLC? Helped me so much to realize that my husband was in the same tunnel and there was nothing I could do but wait it out.

[KGirl]

TO - I know you posted awhile ago about trying to figure out your finances and maybe having separate accounts. Did you ever resolve that? Would this car have come solely out of his finances or is it joint money, and were there any parameters placed on what could be used for what?

[Karma12]

A MLC is a life crisis and can happen at any age. He has you walking on egg shells and your day is a good day or bad day based on his moods. You need to detach so that you are not affected so much by his behavior.

Start using the DB methods again. Act as "if" GAL have a PMA detach. Your H sounds immature and lacking insight into his own issues. He is blaming you for his unhappiness.

I understand how frustrated you feel. My H withdrew too. You keep hoping to see glimmers of the H that is nice and engaging. If he is willing to go for IC this may be more of a benefit than MC at this time. Once he works on himself then maybe he can come back to MC. Go for IC for you too. It helps to get a professional perspective. Learning not to be reactive is hard but necessary. When reacting we often say and do things that we can never take back.