Good point. I hant thought about her waking me up. She could have phoned Security if she was worried. She also started talking about he incident the next day to me, told me L was asleep in the next room. Last week she told me L had heard our conversation. I think she set me up!
As for the expecting favours - yep - I have ownership in that. I have taken advantage of the offers & now it has come back to bite me in the butt.
I think the last post was directed to OT and not me? LOL
Believe me, I'm taking notes as well. Since D17 turns 18 in less than 60 days and is moving off a child program into adult services, I've had to educate myself extensively on how this will play out. Just today, I pulled the trigger on the agency I want to use to implement her plan (interviewed 3 of the 40+ respondents--I had 3 more set up, but figured it was wasting time since I was already enamored with candidate #1). I'm guilty of these things as well. Back when she was in elementary school, we had a provider service that continually placed flaky girls as the caregivers. I won't even elaborate on the last straw. I think because I expressed my concerns directly without having a hissy fit, the director dismissed me. After I fired them, I found out that she was under some sort of audit and probation with the state and eventually lost her certification. I really wasn't surprised. She ran a really unprofessional environment. We then went to our most excellent sitter/my adopted daughter. Night and day.
So thank you for sharing this here. I'm really using some of the lessons learned here when interviewing these agencies, and will continue to keep them in the forefront if I decide to interview respite caregivers for after school. I haven't decided on that yet. I do know that I will approach them similarly to how I approach my employees. Accessible, friendly, stated clear expectations. It's just prudent.
Good luck and enjoy your vacation!
Hugs-Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hey Bets - yep - it was for OT - got up at 5 today - I'm a bit "off" today.
I know there's a lot in what nice written here. I appreciate those of you who have read it, tried to understand and brought up very valid points. Because I know I contributed to this situation - still - who expects a week like this with the girls you just took to Disney World.
But Bt s - I'm glad it is helping you in your decisions too.
So - on Day 2 in Florida - trouble has occurred. The agency provides the workers for 12 hours a day.(8 am to 8 pm) This week I am paying a girl privately (former worker) for overnight (8 pm to 7:30 am) J refused to come in for 7:30 so we could make it work so we had to bring in another worker who will actually be of for 1.5 hours due to minimum time and drive time. So that is sucky for 4 nights this week & 3 next week til Ashley gets back. Tonight I got called from the overnight girl at 7:45 pm that she was stuck in the snow enroute to our house in a whiteout and she wasn't even sure where she was. (It is about a 35 min drive to our house). So I called J who told me her boyfriend had come to pick her up & she would be leaving. I begged her to stay the night - she refused. She trained the new J today - I asked if she could stay but the agency said no. WHAT??? So I had to scramble. Found a neighbour who would come stay at the house tonight. I phoned J back to tell her my neighbour would be over in 15 min. Then she was the wonderful J - all helpful & promising she would be in in the morning. Some relaxing time! Barb
Yep! I sure didn't sleep all night. When she I asked her to guarantee she'd be in in the morning she replied "of course - my car is in your driveway!" Unbelievable! Overnight girl texted me at 1 AM that she was finally home. She had left for my house at 7 PM.
But my talks with the agency went well today, josh & I feel that with them working 12 hour shifts (J really pushed for this - me - not so much) that they then don't have any flexibility to stay extra when needed. There is another worker we could hire for shorter shifts but he is a smoker & can't go 12 hours without smoking. (We don't allow smoking at our home, in our van or around Ryan). j & T quit smoking to take the job.
The agency was aware there were problems with J but that we & Ryan liked her (she really has been good up til now). They also said she is not our only option & they think her time with us is about done. I asked them not to do anything until we were covered with enough staff & we would all talk it through. With this type of worker - there will be repercussions. We need to head that off at the pass. I know I ignored too many signs for too long.
And my builder is asking for more $ for Ryan's Reno. The budget & estimate were $25,000 to $35,000. I've now spend $39,600. Apparently that price does not include the windows & doors, siding, sidewalk heating or bricks as none of that has been paid for. I just paid an unexpected bill for the excavation & concrete that I thought the builder was laying of 7,300 and now he wants another $10,000 that I really don't have. I've emailed him today & tried to ohone to see what we can work out but to tell you the truth - I just don't know what to do.
And my brakes are being replaced as we speak to a tune of $750! Nice day, huh?
SP: Yes - I have a written estimate but he seems to have lowballed a lot. The excavation, apparently, was more involved due to underground pipes and wires. The custom siding was nearly twice as much as estimated. And so it goes. I honestly don't think he did his homework very well.
But the builder and I had a long talk today and worked towards a mutual compromise. Not on the price - but on the payment terms. It WILL end up over $50,000 but we are going to slow down the work and not finish till May or June. I can then pay $3-4,000 a month for the next few months. Still difficult but not impossible.
And although this is Ryan's addition to his room and Ryan and I were paying for it - Josh just gave me a couple grand toward the sidewalk part of the project. This also greatly eases the burden. I never expected this. He just did it.
Update on the caregiver situation. J is off work for a few days as per her schedule. 2 workers were in today as one is in training. Told me it was the worst drive of their life. The snow was incredible! Josh left early this morning to drive up then worked from our home this afternoon. He wanted to be sure that no blizzard would prevent him from getting to our house.
Had a 90 min conversation with our agency supervisor. I told her about all the things that happened last week and all the things J told me she could not/would not do. She told me that EVERYTHING she has been asked to do was acceptable under our contract. Is a private contract that allows for her to pick up things for me while at Walmart, take Ryan to the dr, put the garbage & recycle out, change lightbulbs, take the van in for oil changes and snow tire removal etc. All of it. She does not know where J got the info that she could not do these things that are all in her job description. She is a Personal Support Worker, not a Registered Nurse.
She is going to get all the staff together and go over what they can and cannot do, how to respect and assist the entire family as well as Ryan. She will see how that goes.
We are training another new worker as well. Setting ourselves up in the event J leaves.
And she will be dealing with all the things that went wrong the other night. Making sure that the girls are prepared to stay if necessary and realizing when there is a true emergency.
All in all - the supervisor was extremely supportive and I feel much less stressed.
Got my brakes fixed and my car back after 24 hours. Ashley and I had a decent day and can now move fwd.
Her job description says that she should take the car in for oil and tire changes? I'd be careful with that stuff...regardless of what the agency says it can easily become exploitive in the mind of the worker. One lady I dated, who had a back issue, was a PSW and put in charge of cleaning out her employers basement. What that had to do with caring for the disabled son is beyond me! IMHO, a PSW is hired to care for the disabled individual, not to be everything to the whole family. But, that said, when you work in a home environment there has to be give and take on both sides. It's not an easy environment to be the employed or the employer. There are lots of dynamics that come into play. Go slow and work out something with your employees that will be acceptable to both parties.
