I know the snooping is bad but yes i dont really feel much urge to snoop anyone elses phone. the intel has been useful though because its made me much more aware of just how dishonest she is being. she has no issue outright lying to me.
I suppose a positive is that i cant do it anymore as she has changed all her codes and passwords
this year she has the kids christmas eve to boxing day. its part of the agreement so D3 can see her cousin (who also alternates between parents) disappointly it means my W has this first christmas - I would have liked her to have to have the no kids christmas morning experience as that might make her realise what she is choosing.
so spending christmas day at a mates house but ignoring the day, then going to pretend its christmas day when im back with my kids. doing a family feast at my house (it should be 100% mine by then). Christmas eve night will be the killer for me as I dont really have a plan and i will be missing a big part of it all.
dealing with my emotions is right up there on my personal growth challenge sheet
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Get a plan for Christmas Eve, right away, and let us know you have done so. Even if you have to volunteer.
I don't know about aspb but if you have this, get help, it's manageable and I understand with this condition age and strategy assists and eases it. Find out!
Much of what you write about your emotions is is simply human, just normal human, natural human behaviour. You can not beat yourself up over every mistake, no one can be perfect, no one gets everything right.
W is not in a good place and nothing that you do can change that, nothing you say can change that. You can't make her realise what she is missing, she will have to come to that herself. Take a look at Helen fisher on Ted talks there are two very good sessions on why we love and why we cheat. You will find it enlightening and the related statistics very comforting. Only 3% of all affairs go beyond 2 years and very few end up in successful pairings. In fact your W position is the most likely of all to return to her M as her OMs are most likely to be superficial. In the long term she will need a fully attached relationship.
Frankly why would you want to compare yourself unfavourably to the OMs who are clearly so shallow and nasty? Get a plan Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/04/1401:07 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Jim you have been following my thread right? Pretty much for ages.
I have been wearing full war paint, purchased new frilly undies, bras and a couple of fancy new new hot dresses. New dresses are not low cut.
Old dresses and tops from m are low cut and shaped for a larger bust fuller hipped woman. Funny thing is when I wore those things in m that's pretty and making an effort now it's called advertising as a single woman.
I also have totally high maintence hair, it's has non natural streaks which need attention 6 weekly 8 weeks at most or it looks sad and revolting. She might be buying fancy stuff to self soothe as retail therapy. I am not dating and sleep alone every night.
It might also be getting your attention, so ignore it don't even raise an eye brow.
How bout you make regular facial and hair app for jim? Leave app cards laying round. Jim can also buy man g strings wash and pegg on line. No need to wear. Her mind will fill in the blanks.
Last edited by Ggrass; 12/04/1402:19 AM.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Ggrass reminds me that I've taken much better care of my body since BD. I went to a beautician, I bought facial soap, body gel anti-wrinkle cream, hair gel, etc. Nothing to look ridiculous (I hope) or even metrosexual, just to look well-groomed. And I got compliments. It has been good for my PMA, if only because it's something I can do every day, and I'm eager to do stuff. Perhaps something you can try, jim0987?
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
You are. Naughty stuff, a new fresh take. I love the idea, the male equivalent of kick ass shoes.
Jim I am glad the snooping must stop gg is right what you see may just be put there as only part of the picture. A friend lent me the film the break up with Jennifer Anston, a film which shows what unwarranted escalation can do to an ailing relationship, that includes pretend dates, alcohol use, vindictive backlashes. There wouldn't be a story if the one of the two participants had been DB. (((Hugs)))) Vanilla
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
