I want to reiterate that I am not one to EVER threaten a law suit. I said it in jest. But really to make a point.
That's crazy talk. She just thinks there are NO consequences to her actions other than getting what she wants.
(***side note, shining.... Foo Fighters, "hero" just came on)
Anyway, I am not getting caught up in the drama. When I said it, it was right after my..... hmmmmmm... confrontation last week (I said it to xh, not as a threat, just mentioned). Whatever- over it.
Xh had crap on his truck w a dirty diaper in the bed of his truck. Seriously. What life is this??
Just gonna watch this from the sidelines. Always like a good laugh!
Xh had crap on his truck w a dirty diaper in the bed of his truck. Seriously. What life is this??
So childish and sophomoric. I hope XH sees the light and washes the poop from his hands that is XOW for good. He must completely disengage from XOW as she will attempt everything in the the book to suck him back.
Seriously, I think it is time for XH to compose a NC letter to XOW like Train's H did. I wish I had that script for it was perfect and to the point. No more texting, phoning or face to face contacts. Then later, when the baby is born, XH can do a DNA test to ascertain if the baby is indeed his or not.
The best possible case for your H is that OW does not list him as the father on birth certificate out of childish spite. Then your husband can claim he had a failed vasectomy reversal and could not possibly be the father. Then it will force a DNA test if she wants to force the issue. It may be harder if she lists him as father and then won't agree to a DNA test.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
Wonka, I can't seem to find that thread. I looked back when you first mentioned. You are right, it needs to stop. It's crazy. He is very good at silence.... Trust me, but I can see it obviously stresses him.
Lt, I thought he needs to sign the doc to be on b cert? I know if it's his, he is going to want to take care of her. She is trying every angle. The entitlement is sickening.
In reception ofc at ic.
Should be interesting.
I've got to find that letter, wonka. I am trying to stay out of it, but it is rediculious. Maybe a suggestion? I think he is confiding for a reason. I am trying to just listen and let him take control of his mess. I can see him working at it. Will stay on the sideline, but would like to possibly show it as an example.
Here's a sample one that your XH can use with your approval.
Dear XOWName,
The relationship I had with you was thoughtless and cruel. It hurt many people, particularly my spouse, who did not deserve to be treated that way. I am committed to my marriage and determined to make up for all the hurt I’ve caused my family. I am going to work hard to be the best husband that she deserves.
Because of the terrible offense to my spouse and the damage I have done to our marriage, I am permanently ending all contact with you. Please respect my wish to regain my integrity, and to heal my family. Please also respect my wish that you not attempt to contact me in any way at any time.
My spouse has all the details of our relationship and she will also be told of any attempts at contact.
Thanks, XH
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You can cut and print out this part to show to XH. Then warn him that the OXW will use every means in the book to suck him back and to be aware of this. Stress to him that it is best NOT to engage with her at all. No matter how stupid or silly.
If it crosses into the 'danger' area where you or the children could get hurt, then XH will need to contact the police.
Please be careful, Mighty. XOW sounds and acts unstable.
Mighty, If you are unable to locate Train's thread w/the letter, you might want to leave an SOS for her to come to your thread and/or paste in the letter for you to read. She may even be able to provide the thread link for you.
Here is the thread that she posted on recently about her Thanksgiving:
I've got to find that letter, wonka. I am trying to stay out of it, but it is rediculious. Maybe a suggestion? I think he is confiding for a reason. I am trying to just listen and let him take control of his mess. I can see him working at it. Will stay on the sideline, but would like to possibly show it as an example.
Train said to her H that "this is your mess and it's for you to clean up" after Starsky and I guided her through the process. It is on your XH to clean up this mess himself. Not you.
BTW, I've asked Cadet or somebody else to try to dig up Train's previous threads. Fingers crossed!
I'm not sure such a letter would be wise from a legal standpoint right now.
Imagine, for a moment, that this IS his child and he does want to share custody or have visitation. A letter saying basically "f-off and I never want to see you again", sent during the third trimester of a pregnancy, might well be construed by the courts as evidence that he had no real interest in the child.
I'd be VERY careful about anything he puts in writing to her that might come back to bite him in the tushie.
Mighty, I am going to be honest with you here. That's the only way I know how to be.
While I understand your anger at the OW, the truth is that baby could be your h's. You do not know what was told to her regarding you or the marriage. There were two people in that relationship.
This is for your h to sort out. You telling him all the things you do and you getting involved with her may come back to bite you in the future.
Leave him to this. If the child is his, this woman will be in his life in some capacity and the child will be related to your children.
While I know she cheated with a married man, she is pregnant and there is a baby coming into the world that had nothing at all to do with all this.
I want to ask you something. What do you want to see when you look back at this time? Who do you want to see? What do you want your children to see?
It is best for you to step back and get back on your path. This is something he has to deal with and come to terms with.
I agree with kml, I would be careful what is put into writing.
