Card29 VI

[GoatGal]

Card,

Sometimes, doing less IS doing more.

Keep working on taking the focus off her, and putting your energy into you.

And it's true. We ladies do not like when we are pursued by a guy we're not into. It really has the opposite effect. And sorry to say, right now "that guy" is you.

Now, if she is giving you very strong, clear signals that she WANTS to be with you alone, there is no OM or divorce pending, and she is clearly waiting for YOU to make the first move, then things might be different.

But it doesn't sound like that's where she's at right now.

Be warm, be friendly, meet her warmth with warmth, inject some lightness and humor, don't take things so seriously. If you can get her to laugh, that's great. But always give a little less than she does.

LET HER SET THE PACE.

It's that 80% rule, right?

You reciprocate about 80%. So you're receptive, even loving, but always a bit less than she.

You will not drive her off with this approach, and you will not miss any opportunities to move a bit closer either---if she is the one setting the pace and moving for that closeness.

Beware though that she may be one of those who "wants" a lot from you in terms of emotional support and more, even though she is involved with others.

In that case, it's a no-go. She doesn't get to use you for her emotional stabilizer while disrespecting you.

Keep your boundaries firm, and respond to her within that framework.

If you're consistent, calm, and demonstrate kindness and integrity, she'll be sure to notice.

(Don't expect her to comment on it, though! )


--(G)GGG

[Card29]

More great advice, GG (GGG? GGGG? You need to explain that to me )

I do think I've done well with all of that except for 80%. I have varied between 95-105% reciprocity. Time to tone it down. i guess I can show her I am willing and able to fulfill her ENs without really pursuing

[Card29]

Got a call at 2:30 in the morning from WAW asking me to come pick up D2 because WAW was sick with stomach bug. I asked her if she needed me to bring anything and she said no. I started to pack some Gatorade, applesauce and instant rice that I had left over from my sick spell, but I decided to not bring it. I picked up D2. Today, I texted "How are you?" to WAW. I feel like this follows the 80% rule since she went to the trouble of buying me stomach-friendly food and bringing me a Phenergan magic pill when I was sick 3 weeks ago. So far she hasn't responded. Hopefully she's asleep if she was up all night throwing up.

The good news is D2 seems to be fine.

[GoatGal]

Card,

The progression of the "Gs" is as follows:

I began as Goat Gal. (GG)

Then there was someone called GG (Golf Gal) at the time; this created a little confusion.

I had an issue with my super-flexible joints, and my hip popped out of the socket--and so I began to refer to myself as "GUMBY Goat Gal" because I am flexy and bendy, in both physical and mental aspects.

After it was pointed out to me that in terms of attitude, stature, and appearance, I am, in fact,
"A GODDESS" (!!!!),
I decided to incorporate that into my name as well. (Tee-Hee!!! )

Thus the "G" in parentheses, for (Goddess).

So (Goddess) Gumby Goat Gal.

Yes, it's confusing.

I'm thinking of changing my name down the road, but when I read others' sitches, the name changes really get difficult to track, so I'm waiting for the next chapter of my life to decide what to call myself.

But for now, just consider me the
"Super Flexible Dancing Goddess of the Goats, who lives on the Triple G Ranch (GGG), the previous residence of GUBU the Amoeba, who is the subject of my ongoing DBing laboratory experiment and who visits on occasion."


Hope that clears it up.

Hah!

Oh, and the first "G" is in parentheses because I like the moniker "Triple G"
Because it sounds kick a$$.
As in "Triple Threat"!

So "Triple GGG" works well. Sounds gangsta, right?


---(G)GGG Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

[Card29]

I love it!

[Card29]

Home inspection going on right now. Trying to stay relaxed and to react to what happens, not to a fear of an unknown possibility.

[Card29]

Well it looks like our house is going to sell. I guess we'll be out of this limbo step. Now I'll find out if she was waiting for the house to sell before filing. I'm not really worried about it, just a thought.

Not a lot of contact with WAW lately. Nothing really positive or negative to report. She did tell me about her going to dinner with a guy from her MBA program thanksgiving night. She says he's "like 60", is not interested in dating her or anything, just that he's a good person to know because he used to work in the state congress, or something. Who knows. I've softened a bit on my "boundary" of not doing friendly things with her, at least until it became clear that she was dating. I'm still not fearing that possibility, just aware. So I'm going to go with her and D2 to look at Christmas lights in the next couple of weeks. Trying to stick to the 80% rule

[Ss06]

Sounds good, card. The 80% rule is harder than I thought but it's helping me. Let me know what you think of it and how it works for you.

Is D2 feeling 100%?

[Card29]

D2 is doing well. She does have a mild case of hand-foot-mouth. We just found out my sister has strep, and D2 drank after her recently. We're all hoping D2 doesn't catch that. Thanks for asking! I've missed my DB buddies. Been busy with D2, house, work, etc lately.

[Card29]

I've only used the 80% rule a little (2-3 weeks in September and the last week or so), but I have seen some positive results (although I try not to mind read). Of course I'll need to follow it for a lot longer to expect anything major to change.

I need to catch up on your sitch, but what little ive seen seems to show the a much improved Ss06! I'm so glad to see that. Any interesting photo sessions lately?