I need a serious vent. I would rather not go off on FB (inappropriate and I don't want to make my family members fret), so you guys get the honors.
To say life in my camp is overwhelming to me right now would be a gross understatement. I'm *so* hoping that some of this weight will be lifted within the next few weeks to 30 days.
Other than the typical work issues (we are knee deep in a project in the Los Angeles area, and my technical guys are there now) and final estate issues aside, dealing with the issues that have arisen because my D18 turned 18 has been well... constant and requiring my immediate attention. Some of it hasn't been easy to pull off - not because of difficulty of the information, but the timing of playing hot potato. I'm truly worn out.
We have D18's guardianship process going on. That has required a lot of work up front - including doctor testimony, court visitor testimony, getting stuff notarized on a 2 hour notice, court scheduling. Our court date is tomorrow, thank goodness. I'm a little surprised at the foresight Mr. Wonderful showed. He's taking the rest of tomorrow off from work (I have to come back) and taking D18 with him. He said he thinks it's going to be emotional, work has been a pain in the ass and he figures that he and D18 deserve a jump start on the weekend. The weather is supposed to be crappy, so he might take her to see Cinderella. She'll love that. So I'm pleasantly surprised that he's seeing this for what it is. Good for him.
In my spare time, I've been taking classes for certification that are required to fulfill my contract as her family caregiver. I also have to document pretty much everything I do for her - for the agency that employs me as well as my accountant. I didn't realize how much I actually do for my D18. It's surprised the hell out of me. Don't get me wrong - I don't want to not have this job. It's just that documenting all this crap is overwhelming all by itself. She's cute, so I have that going for me. Documenting her medications seems to be my biggest foe right now. When she's with me, it's 4x/day. Nuts.
I won't go into the minutia that this job requires, or the little snafus that have occurred. They happen. But the big thing is that my county dropped her Medicaid and didn't notify me or the agency that provides our services. I found that out in a weird way, and have been in a tail spin ever since. Needless to say, I've had to spend all morning filling out the application to reapply for Medicaid. I've been doing the annual updates since she was 18 months old. Now I have to reapply. Can't tell you how awful this process is. Apparently, doing it once in a lifetime wasn't enough. Hopefully, this will be the last. What does make me happy is that she's completely oblivious to all of this. Seriously. No need for her to get her panties in a twist over something she can't change. I'm still pretty hot about this.
So, after redoing this application, when I pick up D18 from her after school care this afternoon, we'll head over to the service agency to sign them with witnesses and turn in the papers for them to process. Blech. Not that I didn't have anything else I'd rather do before dinner?
OK, rant over. For now. I'm really hoping I'll feel the burden lifted tomorrow afternoon when we finish in court. Mr. Wonderful and I had our conference call with our attorney to review the questions we will be asked and get coached on how to word our responses. No surprises there, so I hope there are no surprises tomorrow. If D18 pulls out the ultimate miracle and talks, then I'll consider all of this the icing on my cake. That would be awesome, especially if her first word is the F word. I'd love that. She's never managed to make the ffff sound, so let's call this a long shot, shall we?
Oh yeah, through all of this, my D21 forwarded me an e-mail on Monday, letting us know that FAFSA was performing a random audit on us. How utterly delightful. I've had to get stuff signed with a witness (my employees are in CA this week) and dig out tax return information and forward them along. Like I really needed that too.
I need some garlic and witches' brew here. Gotta keep these goblins and vampires away somehow. They need to go bug someone else for awhile.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Wow Bets - that sounds brutal. I'm trying to wrap my head around categorizing everything I did on a routine basis for my child up until the age of 18 and now having to document that as her caregiver. Then to have deal with the bureaucracy of the Medicaid system makes me immediately reach for the Scotch! I hope things settle down for you quickly and you get double butter on your popcorn as well!
Hi Bets, I think I "Get it" better than most. It [censored] but it's what we do. I do it all. My ex criticizes what I do. So I just tune him out. Wishing you the best. You will get through this & it's all for the greater good. Let us know. Barb
Barb, I do know you get it. And BTW, it's always bummed me out that your XH doesn't support your efforts on his own son's behalf. That's tragic. At least I don't have that. In fact, I vented on him before I posted. He got an emergency call, so it wasn't a full blown vent. I had to go somewhere.
Yes, I know this, too, shall pass. I really am thinking that it will die down considerably after our appointment with social security on April 10. Tomorrow will be part of that load I can dump. I didn't realize how stressful this was until I realized how overwhelmed I am by the smallest of things this week.
Tonight, I'm making pork chops and roasted broccoli and cauliflower for dinner. Then D18 and I will eat at the table and just have a peaceful meal. I'm having hardwood floors installed in my D21's current bedroom and in my upstairs hallway. So I might have to stand there and admire the progress today as well. Whatever it takes!
Thanks for the support. It means a whole lot.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Home cooked dinner & hardwood floors? Beats my 5 Guys burger & a hunt for miniature hardwood flooring for my little lighthouse. Running Ryan's life is a full time business - I'm sure it's the same with you. Some of these times are brutal though. Spring is coming! Barb
Well, Barb, no homecooked meal. D18 lost her glasses, so we had to spend some time at the optical place ordering some new ones. She had some birthday money, pointed to Red Robin, so I asked her if she wanted to take us out for dinner? She said yes. Yee ha! It was good. My floors were in a state of staggered boards everywhere and it made walking around a little unsteady.
Update time. Although the road to guardianship was tedious and laborious at times, the 10 minutes we spent in the courtroom (5 of it was me on the stand, testifying) went quickly. We got our orders granted and that's that. I did have a moment of tearing up when the judge swore me in, because I really felt emotional about doing this. But he was most impressed by the court visitor's report. Yay us.
Now I'm back to work and plan on doing a little housekeeping here. No heavy lifting today! Tonight I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably start putting things away.
Thanks for all the good thoughts! They worked.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I'm SO relieved for you! Sometimes we get ourselves so worked up yet the real deal is not that bad at all. I'm so glad you are past that. Time for a drink. Cheers! Barb
Isn't that the truth? I wasn't so sure when we met up with the attorneys outside the courtroom. The partner told us, "Well, looks like the judge is in a good mood. That's a new one." Mr. Wonderful and I just looked at him and he continued, "Can't tell you how many times I've been in his courtroom and he's been nasty to the families and sometimes not willing to hear reason." We were all pleasantly surprised!
Upward and onward. I have some major stuff to do at home. The baseboards are going in on Tuesday, and since I'm now repurposing D21's room into a guest/multipurpose room, I have some things to figure out in my old office, where I'm moving her stuff. Oh yeah, I haven't told her either. Anyway, I'm having some coffee now before I figure out where to begin.
On an interesting note, I went down to the Celebration Fair here last night. It's a spiritual gathering, with healers, merchants, psychics, etc. I figured that I had nothing planned, so what the heck. I walked around for awhile. Found a woman who was selling organic candles that were beautiful and all sorts of colors. She's from Czechoslovakia and drop dead gorgeous. Just moved to Colorado Springs. We got started talking as I was looking at her literature and sales guide when I saw that she's a medium as well. She welcomed me in her booth and I got 20 minutes for $20.
She first said, "Something happened to make you start all over and reinvent yourself. You're drastically different than you were 10 years ago. Not a death. But something life altering." Yep, the D. She could see that it was a time when I decided to clean up my mess and move on. She could also see that he and I repaired our R and now have a genuine friendship and indicated that we were never right for each other and I knew that. Yes, I did. I came close to calling off the wedding twice. Go figure.
She then said that I married my dad (true again), and although that works for my mom, it didn't work for me. She reassured me by saying I've learned the lesson so to relax. Kat, this next part is for you.... she wrinkled up her adorable nose and said, "the men who have dropped in your life. Not your fault, they're just there. They're not real men. Wow. What I'm trying to say, strings. They're like... puppet men? They act like who they think the audience wants them to be. Does this make sense?" Uh yes, it makes sense. She continued, "You are disgusted by this and it's definitely come in to play when it comes to allowing yourself to find someone." I smiled. Yep again. "Well, you were right! In fact, your intuition is fabulous and you're right about a lot of people and their motivations." "Well, guess what? Someone you haven't yet met will suddenly appear out of nowhere at the end of the year or beginning of next year. I'm seeing Christmas decorations, so give or take a month there. No preparation is necessary. Just give him a chance. He'll interest you right off the bat, but you won't be head over heels for him. You'll want to see if he's worth your time, go slow and work on a friendship with him first. You'll be interested and so will he, so this will work."
Can you say that's exactly what I've wanted all along?
Dennis showed up. That was awesome. He told me some things that his best friend had already thought was true. And he left by telling me he has a vested interest in my success here on earth and my happiness. And that he will always love me and my girls.
And finally, my brother showed up. He didn't really want to but felt he needed to. She said, "Did he commit suicide?" I told her no. "Then his exit from this earth was designed by him and he had a big hand in it." True again. Anyway, he felt he needed to say he was sorry to me for letting me down and not being as strong as I am. That makes me really sad, BTW. I truly don't know why someone wouldn't fight hard to do the right thing for their kids. But it's not my place to judge, right?
So today, I feel at peace. There's a calmness I haven't felt in awhile, and I'm enjoying it. Kind of like when you sit down and put a really heavy, comfortable blanket around your shoulders. The weather is gorgeous, and I really should take a walk, but we'll see how far I get in putting stuff away and getting rid of D21's bedroom stuff, which is now in my family room. I'm not going to want a bed and 2 dressers in there much longer. Well, at least longer than they need to be there.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
And BTW, it's always bummed me out that your XH doesn't support your efforts on his own son's behalf. That's tragic. At least I don't have that. In fact, I vented on him before I posted. He got an emergency call, so it wasn't a full blown vent. I had to go somewhere. 
