My wife's birthday is in two weeks. I hate the thought of having to ignore it and that someone else may be celebration it with her instead of me.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
I would offer the same advice for both of you. Acknowledge her birthday by helping the kids do something for her. I just did this with STBX - and I helped the kids put together photo albums for him. It makes the kids feel great - and its a nice gesture, even though its not directly from you.
Having a random detach slip today. Really missing WAW, really fearing BigD, not feeling confident. I know it will pass but right now it's a downer. Not as bad as these drops were in July-Oct, though. Her admiring compliment on Sunday seems like it never happened, just with how I'm feeling right now. We've been in friendly contact all week, but mainly just about D2, WAW missing her while I've had her all week.
I think this latest episode was triggered when I noticed something on her FB page. She sent out a message recruiting any friends who are good at photography to help with a volunteer project she's a part of, marketing for a homeless shelter. Am I a pretty good photographer, and if we were still M it would have been a no-brainer for me to help. She never mentioned it to me, though. I don't know if she thought it would be awkward around her work friends? I mean she seems to enjoy doing gym/grocery with me, so I can't imagine she just didn't want to be around me. Maybe she felt like she couldn't ask for a favor like that while she is S from me. I haven't been obsessing about this, these are just the thoughts that rushed to my head, and I think they triggered the backslide.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Up and down today. WAW a dropped by in the morning to help get D2 and help a little with some house cleaning. We have a flood of showings this weekend. After 2-1/2 months, we finally have an offer. We countered and are now awaiting the verdict. Yay, right? Well I'm not that excited. I love this house, love this neighborhood, love the location, love the way the light pours through the windows in the afternoon, etc. I guess I'm just mourning the house (which I thought I'd already done). Lately I'd been entertaining the idea of a housemate in order to keep the house. It just wasn't going to happen, though - it needed to be someone I know since I have D2, but I don't know anyone looking for a place. And Ive known that I lost the house when she signed her apt lease...the house is just more than I want to lay on my own. Ive known all of this, it's just becoming real with this offer.
WAW has been more friendly with me lately, but I'm trying not to mind read it one way or the other. Honestly I think she is just trying to keep it amicable because her biggest fear is a nasty D like her parents had. But I'm not dwelling on that. In fact, I counter it with a positive thought (she's warming up, her heart is softening a bit), then moving on.
I have been wanting to find the "perfect" set of new friends...single people, around my age, similar interests, no drugs, not trying to go out and get laid all of the time. Some of that I won't relent on, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that I might need to be a 3rd or 5th wheel sometimes. It beats sitting alone on Saturday nights.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Card, my D and I will be your roomies so you can keep the house. Light pouring in through the windows sounds delightful though living with a separated woman and her D may not give the right impression to your w.
Never mind.
I'm trying to find single friends, too, and I'm convinced there are none. At least none outside of the 22 and 23 year olds working at BR. Great.
If it makes you feel better, I'm in my pjs at 7:20 pm on a Saturday night. The plan? Opening a bottle of Côtes de Paso Blanc and perhaps digging into the Halloween candy a bit. A wild and crazy night.
I've got the kids this weekend so I'm home tonight too. I've got a novel I wish I liked, a self-help book, a pile of laundry, and some popcorn. I'm going to call it recharging.
It's all good. This is just for now. It's WAY better than a year ago, and who knows where I'll be a year from now?
Sad to say, the Nerdy Young Thing is moving to Malaysia. It's another sign.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Card29 - I want to echo Maybell's comment that you are a bright spot on these boards. You have such wisdom, calm and judgement that every time I have to check that you're not a 55 years old woman. I read all of this thread and some older posts, including your first post where you explain your sitch. What's the latest on this guy from school who went to France with her? Also, you don't seem to dwell much on your own faults leading to the S, except perhaps that you didn't spend enough time together. Maybe I missed that? Any reasons why she'd want out? But honestly, to me it looks like she got the thrills for this guy during the trip and her brain is playing tricks on her. I might be seeing this because that's partly what happened to me when my W met a handsome young guy at her new job who showered her with attention and gifts. My M had more issues than yours though. It took my W two months after S to tell me she was with him - all along, she said she wanted to be alone, not in a couple, there was no one else not even in her heart, etc.
You seem like such a catch. I can't imagine she won't realize that at some point down the road. With your awareness and wisdom, you look like a success story in the making. There are rough times ahead, but keep at it.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
