Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Wow the board is busy right now. Only went a little over a day without posting on this thread and it's on the 2nd page (with my settings, anyway).
I've been fighting a backslide the last couple of days. Just trying to dodge negative thoughts. I noticed that it started after I had a fun text exchange with WAW last night. It was a rare fun convo that did not involve D2. Since then I've begun to again think about what I could lose. It's not too bad, so trying to rekindle the PMA. I get D2 back again today (leaving work now to go get her)!
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
This morning, trying to let go of anger that WAW has made me a part-time, single parent. All I've ever really cared about is my family and I now have 0% of my W and 50% of my D2. And I never get to "tag team" D2. She's either not there or I have to feed, bathe, and clothe her (after work) and try to find 20 minutes to play with her. I have resentment in my heart this morning because of this.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
And I never get to "tag team" D2. She's either not there or I have to feed, bathe, and clothe her (after work) and try to find 20 minutes to play with her. I have resentment in my heart this morning because of this.
Card, for what it's worth, many of us moms never tag teamed, either. I can count on one hand the number of times my H fed, or bathed, or clothed, my kids or put them to bed. That was always mine to do, and yes, after work. I know that doesn't make it any easier for you to do, but just understand that lots of us know exactly how you feel. You are not alone.
Second, I want to share a quote from a really wise lady on these boards, "Resentment occurs when we expect others to take care of our needs when we are not doing it ourselves." I am learning, for the first time in my life, how to take care of myself and let go of resentment. Let that sink in and see how it applies to your life, too.
I think what is aggregating my frustration is the fact that I only get to do that half of the time now. I wasnt a SAHD, but I was close to it. Before BD, I always woke her up, bathed her and put her to bed. Like 95% of the time. Even as a newborn, I was usually up with her at night because W had to pump (D wouldn't latch, weak suck). But I loved it. I still do. Today I'm just not dealing well with the fact that I only get to see her 1/2 of the week. Plus I miss WAW, although I am still somewhat detached from her so I'm not in agony over that at the moment.
I wil try to list some positives:
- I DO get to have D2 half of the week - I can visit her at daycare most every day - She is well behaved for a 2 yr old - She needed an early childhood development program when he was 1. She is now more than caught up with her speech and skills - my "days off" from her are usually weekdays, so I can visit her at daycare on those days and end up seeing her almost everyday of the week - WAW has not mentioned the BigD once this entire time
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Now I want some fun colored marshmallows!