Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Glad it's helpful. I really need to read these stories to keep the faith. Tomorrow will be the 2-month anniversary of the ILYBINILWY and my W moved out 17 days later. We're barely in touch -- she emails more or less daily some random stuff about the kids and I reply briefly. I confirmed the OM two days ago. She must be deep in love or at least having lots of fun. She gets tons of support (logistics: colleagues and OM, endless money: parents) meaning that she has a long time to go before she faces reality, if ever. Even if we're in good terms and much better than some stories with restraining orders and the likes, there are days when I simply don't know how this can be resolved. Thankfully, I'm fairly good at GALing.
I had a tire blow out on the highway, not far from the old apartment. My car insurance doesn't offer road side assistance, apparently.
I texted four friends who weren't available before I texted BF and asked if he was free to lend a hand. He showed up within 5 minutes, changed the tire within 5 and I was on my way again within 15.
He told me not to hesitate to call upon him if I need help, and gave me a hug before he got back in his car.
He'd do the same for any of his friends, of course. He's a helpful guy.
Le sigh.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Full of feels, working hard to push them down and move on with the PMA. Cried on the way home from work, but Aunt Flo just showed up so it's probably hormonal again.
I just feel without hope, for some reason, and that's tough.
This too shall pass.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
I feel like a little girl as much as I've been crying. But I know that's not true because my girls are tougher than that.
I am an emotional mess. It blows me away that these WAS's want to date. I couldn't be emotionally available for anyone right now.
I digress,
(((Little)))
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
I had a tire blow out on the highway, not far from the old apartment. My car insurance doesn't offer road side assistance, apparently.
I texted four friends who weren't available before I texted BF and asked if he was free to lend a hand. He showed up within 5 minutes, changed the tire within 5 and I was on my way again within 15.
He told me not to hesitate to call upon him if I need help, and gave me a hug before he got back in his car.
He'd do the same for any of his friends, of course. He's a helpful guy.
Le sigh.
Sorry but I'm missing something. So none of your close friends could help you...
But your ex bf came out at night, on 5 minutes notice, and then repaired it AND didn't make a big deal about it or even complain...
and all you can say is "he'd do it for any of his friends...he's a helpful guy" as if it's nothing? Or as if it isn't something you ought to say a kind word about?
I can't tell if this is the new sad you, or if the negativity pre-existed the break up. But it's not lovely.
Remember that DB Coach phrase "applaud loudly for the 1% of positives he does"??? (it's Great advice that works, even when it's hard as heck to do).
But for this, I'd have applauded loudly for the 99% of help he gave you then, (EVEN if I were still with him! It's a damn nice and practical thing to do). Not every man even knows how to change a tire btw...
Can't see how being thankful could have cost you a thing. Why be sad now?
Why not be grateful and for gosh's sake, why not show him?
I saw this as such a wonderful opportunity for you to show a new happy upbeat warm loving YOU.
Just think about it, okay?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Consider sending him a small gift or at the very least a warm appreciative text message.
To me, showing him your warm side is a reminder to him of what he's missing.
What is it you fear will happen, if you seem grateful for an honest to God favor he does?
I don't get it. I want to, but I don't.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I had a tire blow out on the highway, not far from the old apartment. My car insurance doesn't offer road side assistance, apparently.
I texted four friends who weren't available before I texted BF and asked if he was free to lend a hand. He showed up within 5 minutes, changed the tire within 5 and I was on my way again within 15.
He told me not to hesitate to call upon him if I need help, and gave me a hug before he got back in his car.
He'd do the same for any of his friends, of course. He's a helpful guy.
Le sigh.
Sorry but I'm missing something. So none of your close friends could help you...
But your ex bf came out at night, on 5 minutes notice, and then repaired it AND didn't make a big deal about it or even complain...
and all you can say is "he'd do it for any of his friends...he's a helpful guy" as if it's nothing? Or as if it isn't something you ought to say a kind word about?
I can't tell if this is the new sad you, or if the negativity pre-existed the break up. But it's not lovely.
Remember that DB Coach phrase "applaud loudly for the 1% of positives he does"??? (it's Great advice that works, even when it's hard as heck to do).
But for this, I'd have applauded loudly for the 99% of help he gave you then, (EVEN if I were still with him! It's a damn nice and practical thing to do). Not every man even knows how to change a tire btw...
Can't see how being thankful could have cost you a thing. Why be sad now?
Why not be grateful and for gosh's sake, why not show him?
I saw this as such a wonderful opportunity for you to show a new happy upbeat warm loving YOU.
Just think about it, okay?
I'm sort of curious as to what made you think I wasn't grateful and/or didn't thank him for his help. It was a rather short post, on my part, surely there were more details in what occurred than what I posted, no?
What I was trying to do was not read too much into his actions. It would have been real easy for me to get the wrong idea and make more of it than it is. I was trying to be realistic: BF does this all the time for people. He'll fix breaks in our driveway, or drive out of his way if someone's car is over-heating and they need help, so on and so forth. He's always been giving in that manner. In fact, he and I had several conversations about friends that only call him when they need him for something and never when they want to hang out or actually be FRIENDS otherwise.
It's not to say that he doesn't deserve thanks and I'm not grateful for it, or he isn't a great guy for doing it. My point was to remind myself it's not unique to ME.
My conversation with him when I texted him was to apologize profusely for bugging him, and ask if he was in a position he could help me with a flat. Afterward we had a short text conversation in which he told me where and how to get the donut replaced, and I thanked him "so much" for his help.
If you're giving me permission to send him another text about how I wanted to make sure he understands how much I appreciate his help on Sunday and how I know that helping others is one of his very best qualities and he should be proud of that, man, I'll take the ball and run with it!
To be honest, something like that seems like perusing, but I REALLY WANT TO do it.
Last edited by Little; 11/04/1401:41 PM.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
"I wanted to thank you again for your help on Sunday. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. You're always willing to help friends in need and it's one of your very best qualities. It's very selfless and helpful.
Thanks again. :)"
His response: "Thank you. Anytime."
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Anytime."