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Hi all. I have being following most posters and it has been getting me down to be honest. Bathe only good news I saw was Maybells job I have read sandi2 posts from the start and the big differance I see is her strength to recognise that's her thinking was not quite right. Most WAS on here I read about seem to have being hit over the head with the selfish stick, over and over again I love who my W used to be but this new person is not someone I would even like I am fully aware of my more than 50% part in the trouble of M and I am working to fix myself and improve.

My W is currently crying whenever shes home ( most days) and seems really down I hate seeing her like this and wish I had not played a part in her being this sad / upset etc Ik have good days and bad but always seem sad , as if I am mourning the loss of M

I am now hoping that W will be happy at the end of all this and her choices ( while hard for me to understand) do indeed make her happy / content.

D10'seems very down and this makes me so sad

D13 seems to be revelling against W ( eg refusing to stay with W overnight)

S15. Now ignores W most of the time

S20. Is turning against W re lots of small lies but are adding up

I have detached and when W is not around I can function ok but when she's home it's hard to show detachment without being cold in front of kids

W gone 5 weeks now and seems to be constantly upset / sad. It's difficult to watch but what can I do. Maybe grass is green syndrome or just guilt

Sorry post was about W but needed to vent. Take care all

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Hi all. Quick question please. My W is going through very hard time with s15 and d13, both have told her they no longer respect her for leaving and S has told her he no longer wishes to talk with her. Question is, W called today to see how all where doing , I normally answer all ok and continue conversation and finish as per DB. this morning when she asked about S15 I told her the truth, that he's was very upset and angry last nite because she left, W started crying down phone and hung up. She texted later to say she tried calling S but he would not answer. Should I have not told W about S15"s upset as it might look like I am trying to control her feelings ? Thanks for any replies in advance

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rd500 Offline OP
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Hi all. Quick question please. My W is going through very hard time with s15 and d13, both have told her they no longer respect her for leaving and S has told her he no longer wishes to talk with her. Question is, W called today to see how all where doing , I normally answer all ok and continue conversation and finish as per DB. this morning when she asked about S15 I told her the truth, that he's was very upset and angry last nite because she left, W started crying down phone and hung up. She texted later to say she tried calling S but he would not answer. Should I have not told W about S15"s upset as it might look like I am trying to control her feelings ? Thanks for any replies in advance

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rd500 Offline OP
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Hi. Yet venting as no real news

Kids been up and down of late, seems the reality of the sitch is hitting home

D10. Very quiet and not as bubbly as normal

D13. Very anti W and vocal about it

D15. Very very anti W as it's his birthday next week and W not sure if she can make meal ( which is day before his actual B day)

D19 very quiet and down. Keeping an eye on him

This week so far W has told me that she misses me, I am a great dad , she thinks she is in the middle of a mental breakdown and that she is home sick. I am past trying to mind read if she is regretting her decision to leave or just guilty over leaving kids. She is also out of money.

On a positive note , I am now able to make roast dinners, beef or ham to perfection. I am enjoying the house work, washing etc as it gives me a sense of pride to be caring for the kids as I should have for years.

I am struggling with seeing W almost everyday but when I tried to arrange set days for visits she cried uncontrollably and said I was trying to keep her from her kids. I relented because I think it's best for kids to see her but it's difficult for me

I don't know if any one is reading these posts anymore as my fellow posters ( timeline wise) seemed to have dropped the rope and gone Still it helps me deal with it all. Take care

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We are still reading your posts (or at least I am). Hang in there.


Me: 35
Her: 33
D : 16
S : 9
Together: 14 years
Married: 12
She left 4/14/2014
Separated: 5/25/2014
OM Confirmed 7/2014
She filed 8/7/2014
I Filed 10/21/2014
Divorce final 2/12/2015
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rd500 Offline OP
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Thank you so much for answering. I appreciate we all are living nightmares but it means a lot. Thank you

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Still reading and wishing you well.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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rd500 Offline OP
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Thanks jim. Really appreciated

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rd, i'm still reading and rooting for you. I'm just limiting my participation on the boards because it was becoming an emotionally draining vortex for me. Also, I've decided that I'm done with my M, so I don't think the boards are the right fit for me right now. I don't plan to stand anymore, and will be proceeding with a dissolution in January. I know a better life awaits me -- and you too.
That being said, I will miss you and many of the others on these boards who gave me encouragement when I was down.
Know that you are an incredible person -- strong and honorable and good. You deserve real happiness, and I wish you the best. Your wife doesn't deserve you.


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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Ahoy. Thank you so much for all your kind words and encouragement. I am sorry for your M but if that's what you want then I completely support you and wish you all the happiness in the future. You have really helped me and I will always be grateful. I know we will all be happy again one day but why can't that day be tomorrow !!!!!!!!!!!! Take care and thanks again

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