~~~ I could really use some direction/advice on how to BE during the next 24 hours on this overnight stay. I want to enjoy myself but I have been putting pressure on myself because of these last few posts. What is the best way to get my control back? ... did I lose it? [/quote]
MM - you should be yourself. Acting a certain way, modified to the situation is not genuine and will not lead to healthy and happy reunion. What is wrong with being MM?
odd... but, he seems to have clarified his intentions of wanting time away with me and is liking that we are getting along. He has also said that we are sort of in a relationship (bf/gf) and he is open to see where it goes. That he is in it for the possibility of the long haul.
.... although he admits he still fears publicly defining it
Last edited by makingmagic; 10/17/1409:46 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Do u keep asking this? I assume u do of he wouldn't say things like that. Listen to what he is saying. U keep asking and he keeps suficing u. It's the only way to shut u up. Sry but trying to be real with u. Except what he is offering or move on. You r not going to beat him into submission. This is all u get. Who kpnows about later. All the questions u ask over and over makes me want to scream shut up! I can imagine it does him to.
Doesn't matter what we think. How do you feel about what he said? (and...was it in response to a question you asked? If so, think about why you asked..)
Are you satisfied with that? How does that change things or not for you?
What are you doing to become the best YOU you can be while you "see how it goes"?
I don't think you ever answered my question of whether you are in IC or not.
I think you need more support than this board is able to offer you. We are not professionals. One to one conversations, in real time, with a trained professional, will help you set clear goals and help you stay on track to meet them.
actually it was his words... he wants a relationship. He also mentioned that he has been working on his actions (and to look at his actions)... He said he still has some changes to still make & that he is working on himself.
I think this would now be considered piecing....however, I am not jumping the gun on this just yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Claire, I am not in regular IC. I will make an appointment again soon with my IC. To become the best me, I will still need to maintain autonomy & MUST work hard at it. I have disciplines that I must control too.
You asked how I feel about what he said?.... I wasn't really satisfied with what I heard, UNTIL.... he clarified that he has changes to make too & that makes me happy. I am glad he admits it!
I think I answered your question(s)... if not, please clarify.
Starsky ~~ please clarify.. I don't want to drive ANYONE crazy!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Claire, Have you read any of Magic's other threads? You may want to read them to have a better understanding of what has been transpiring in Magic's world for the last year or so. The questions you are asking Magic are excellent and they have been asked many times on her threads.
Reading her threads may give you more insight into her situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
claire & everyone.... PLEASE show me what I cannot see.
He is BACK.... this is a good thing. But, even better... is that HE said he needs to make some changes & he is working on it & us.
I am obviously totally oblivious... please be specific as to what I need to do now?
~ I have not forgotten that there is still things to do. ~ I do look at EACH situation/moment & as an opportunity to find a way that values ME! ~ I will not allow him to mistreat me. He is still being interviewed. ~ I am still looking at houses. ~ I still need to go forward on seeking my independence. ~ I still have & have always GAL (friends, dancing, outings) ~ I will still aim to place him lower on my list of things to do. Re-prioritize. DD comes FIRST! ~ OH... and I am re-reading Co-dependent no more
What else am I missing? I am answering honestly... and I don't see whats wrong with my answers... I thought they were good and fair coming from where HE is & has been for almost 2 years. I think its progress... is it not?
Last edited by makingmagic; 10/18/1407:04 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
