After my first tour in Iraq the insomnia and sleep deprivation was bad. I looked into tapping at that point just had not remembered it till you brought it up Nitty.I actually slept 7 hours last night even if they were restless for the last couple. Melatonin is a good idea I ill actually get some of that as well.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
Ok so I had a moment today (alone not with the WAW). Today is my youngest son's Birthday he turned 5.Woke up knowing this and heartache was pretty rough. He was born premature and we didn't know if he was going to make it. He is our little miracle.I did get to talk with him today but it aboslutely killed me not being there with him. He asked if I was on my way up there yet. He doesnt fully understand whats going on he thinks he is visiting grandma. This absolutly broke me down to tears after I got off the phone. I held a PMA when discussion issues with the WAW prior to talking with my S. It was very hard to do but proud that I did it.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
That is very understandable, CMS. My D2 makes me sad at the most random moments. Sometimes it's when she's happy. She is just oblivious to what's going on. Then again, I guess it's better than her being in agony like some of the older kids in the sitches here. How is your S10 handling everything?
I'd be lying if I said that pain will soon stop altogether for you, but I can definitely say that if you stick with DBing, the breakdowns will become less and less frequent. Several times I thought I'd "made it through" completely only to find myself crashing again a few days. But keep chugging, and those few good days will turn into a few good weeks, and the few bad days will turn into one bad day, or a bad hour.
Happy bday to the little man! Time to update your signature
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
That is very understandable, CMS. My D2 makes me sad at the most random moments. Sometimes it's when she's happy. She is just oblivious to what's going on. Then again, I guess it's better than her being in agony like some of the older kids in the sitches here. How is your S10 handling everything?
I'd be lying if I said that pain will soon stop altogether for you, but I can definitely say that if you stick with DBing, the breakdowns will become less and less frequent. Several times I thought I'd "made it through" completely only to find myself crashing again a few days. But keep chugging, and those few good days will turn into a few good weeks, and the few bad days will turn into one bad day, or a bad hour.
Happy bday to the little man! Time to update your signature
Thank bro appreciate the support.Actually S10 has been spending most of his time at SIL house. He doesnt like staying with W at her moms house. Me and him were very close he is a daddys boy.He told W the day she was leaving that he was very angry at her taking him away. She has been trying to buy him things and promise stuff like four wheelers and snowboards to make him feel better. I know its rough on him and it will be good when I can get up there and see him. The phone I got him to keep contact with me was bad so waiting for Verizon to replace it so I can communicate with him more as he stays away from W. Yep I guesse it is time to update the sig.
Last edited by CMS; 10/14/1405:52 AM.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
I could't imagine being away from my kids. Stay strong my friend.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Todays journal entry. Last couple days have been easier to be detached. Even family has noticed I have not been calling and texting to lean on them so they have been asking if I was ok. Woke this morning though and the heartache was there like it was the first day. Got busy cleaning house and lots of prayer. Decided to come on here and post to keep from falling back on my hard earned progress.
What I am working on.
180's honestly I know this sounds wrong but there are only a couple things my wife want me to change but one is a big one.
1)She felt like I didnt give her space....180 ive been giving her plenty. she is the only one who calls and initiates.
2) next 180 more PMA. When it was great it was great in our M and she loved when I had a great PMA. even if I am not always having a PMA day im faking it till I make it.
3) Wife hated it when I blew up and arguement. My single largest contribution to why I am in my sitch.....my 180 has been even though she baited me early on after she left I have yet to lose my cool. Honestly this was something I worked hard on before but failed alot recently. Now honestly I dont have it in me to blow up anymore. Even anything comes of this its a big lesson learned.
4) last 180 is something she has brought up post S. She thinks I am going to do something tricky or manipulating to get her back. At times when she calls and tells me all of her plans for Future without R before I have a chance to speak she says,"your not saying much of what your doing it makes me think your being sneaky." So trying to make sure I dont do anything she would percieve as manipulative, hard to do since she seems paranoid about alot of things right now.
last but not least I have had phone IC and setting up a full range of mental health services with the VA already have appts before I even move up in a few weeks.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
Detachment has to be the single hardest thing to do. I can keep a PMA most days and if not fully real PMA I can definitively put on one when talking with WAW. 180's I can do as well as I know some of the 180's should have been done while married and ive learned from this. GAL is a little tough not knowing anyone here in FL but still not that hard. Separating my feelings from the situation........yeah that's very hard.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
For me, detachment is a result of consistent GAL and 180 over time. It ebbs and flows. I've been DBing for approaching 3 months and I still have rough patches, maybe 3-5 days every 2-3 weeks. It is not easy, but it does get easier.
What are your GAL activities? I had to abandon some of my normal hobbies because they weren't distrscting enough for me. I joined a coed kickball league that just ended. I've been doing salsa dance lessons every week for 6 weeks now (I've never danced before). I'm entering a pumpkin decorating contest. I would have never thought for a second to do these things. So think outside of the box. If you don't have the kids, you should be spending AT LEAST two days or night a week doing something out of your house and out of your comfort zone.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
This is random but I saw you mentioned melatonin. I use it to sleep when I can't, which I e had those nights lately believe me, but it makes me very foggy the next day. Monitor that if you are taking it, and maybe cut the tab in half. A little goes a long way.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
