I need to catch up on the fee, but yes I do. Great idea.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
IDK if she noticed, I mean she had to of. I didn't follow or puppy dog, I kept my conversation to a minimum. When she spoke first or asked questions I politely, cheerfully, and softly answered. I wasn't too agreeable or unagreeable. I didn't ask, reference, or even knowledge that last night even existed let alone where she was or what she was going to be doing tonight for that matter. She gave me a hug when she left and I said have a good evening. She made a huge point of making sure she called everything us and ours and making sure my daughter knew that the gifts were from mommy AND daddy, which I found interesting. I mean it was real obvious. So, who knows. I felt like crap after she left and prayed allot, but after going to band practice for the evening (which I haven't done since the separation) I feel a little better.
Good luck with those kids tomorrow!
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Band Practice - Cool! I'm a church musician also! I play drums. That's been one of may GALs. I have not been able to play in church cause my W stopped going a few years ago and does not really like me playing. So I gave it up. Now I'm back. I don't have to play this morning, but next week I will have several gigs over the weekend.
It feels so fake doesn't it: Smiles, hugs, "us" all for appearances? There is a motto here that says "don't believe anything they say and half of what they do". I think that fits very well.
One day at a time. Find those things that lift your spirits and feel yourself be happy during those times. That's part of getting through this.
FD
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
I play guitar with the church and a secular band. I'm not part of the main worship team, that waiting list is long, but I am part of the Wed night worship team and we have a special ministry once a month called Man Church and I am part of that worship team as well. I very much enjoy playing with the church these days. My wife is the one that got me plugged in with the worship leaders so, there you have it.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
In His Needs, Her Needs, Dr. Harley addresses this crazy situation:
Quote:
Early in my career as a counselor I often felt dismayed to see people with strong religious and moral commitments becoming involved in extramarital affairs. I am a church member myself, with strong convictions about the Christian faith. How could people who claim to have the same commitments go astray? Did their faith lack power?
The more I dealt with Christian clients and other people with deep moral convictions, the more I understood the power of our basic emotional needs...
I also have a hard time understanding how my devout wife could have succumbed to the temptation to have an affair. Still further perplexing is how she can stay with her affair partner and file for divorce.
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
Hi nmwb123, yes my W also when we met was a straight-laced faith-filled young Catholic woman. She was the one who helped me start on my faith journey, which is my first reason for staying in my marriage now. She helped me when I was in a bad spiritual place early in our marriage. I am staying now so I can pray for her, and see where her journey leads.
It's an interesting path that we are on, isn't it? If it didn't hurt so much, it would almost be interesting.
In His Needs, Her Needs, Dr. Harley addresses this crazy situation:
Quote:
Quote: Early in my career as a counselor I often felt dismayed to see people with strong religious and moral commitments becoming involved in extramarital affairs. I am a church member myself, with strong convictions about the Christian faith. How could people who claim to have the same commitments go astray? Did their faith lack power?
The more I dealt with Christian clients and other people with deep moral convictions, the more I understood the power of our basic emotional needs...
I also have a hard time understanding how my devout wife could have succumbed to the temptation to have an affair. Still further perplexing is how she can stay with her affair partner and file for divorce.
If I ever figure it out, I will be sure to post it. I grew up in the church. My life was family and church! Yet, I had an EA. I almost threw everything away over unmet emotional needs and a fantasy.
Christians are human beings and as long as we have the old human nature, we will have weaknesses. We all have sinned. Your sin may not be mine, and my sin may not be yours, but we all have the ability.
Being a Christian means there is hope. Don't underestimate a WAW.......but neither underestimate the power of prayer. I truly believed prayer had a big part in me finding my way back. Plus, it was no "accident" that I stumbled upon a forum one night called Divorce Busting! How many WAW's come here and end up being the one who gets the tools to turn the M around? Yet, it happened! Want to know something funny? I first went to a "Christian" chat board and they were nuts! I told them off and left. Next stop.....was this place. Been here ever since. Not b/c my M wasn't saved.......but b/c it was!
Don't give up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thank you, Sandi. I needed to hear that about now. I've been praying my knees off and have no plans of stopping anytime soon.
Last edited by Jefe; 09/29/1412:47 AM.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
