WAH - Chapter 4 Lisa B

[GoatGal]

Lisa,

This: "Then my H left for the pretty meadow with the spring flowers. Spring turned into autumn but he's still out there, high as a kite, running around like a stoned hippie in the dry meadows."

Cracked me UP!!!


---GGG

[pilot]

Lisa,

Hah, ok now I feel bad for my post! I dont mean to pick on ya!

And the facebook thing, ouch. That has to be crappy to have OW posting to your fb page. All the more reason to block the H. Nothing good is going to come out of FB. Although my DB coach suggested maybe I unblock my W, since my W is a fb stalker, she would undoubtably follow what I was up to.

[Ss06]

Lisa,

I cannot get over that you're FB friends with the OW. Block that woman! You deserve to post without that weirdness. AND you're friends with the woman your WAH wants to get with? What is this? Is he trying to get with all of your friends? Gross. It's almost incestuous.

Blech!

It's time to thin the FB herd and get rid of a few people so you can post without all that grossness. You deserve that!

On a separate note, I don't think anyone can blame you for losing your motivation and wanting to run free in a beautiful spring meadow. It sounds amazing but from our perspective it looks like a beautiful meadow but when you look more closely, there's crab grass and gophers everywhere.

Keep watering your lawn. Pull the weeds, plant some flowers, invite the hummingbirds and the ladybugs because your garden is going to be a healthy garden with or without WAH's assistance in tending it. It'll weather storms and scorching heat, hail and tornados. Just keep tending.

[Old Dog]

Another one here who can't believe the temerity of OW on fb. Breathtaking arrogance.

[LisaB]

Hi friends! Missed you! Glad the forum is back up. I'm sad to see that my rambling about gardens, lawns and ice cream flavors has disappeared. It was so pithy...

Hope you are all doing well. I have been keeping very busy and doing great.

I didn't hear very much from WAH. And I have finally absorbed the tips from my manly friends here and have gotten quite good at NC! After his weird drunk texts from last week he was quiet for a few days then started up with his regular contact method... telling me he had something of mine that I must urgently need/I have something of his he suddenly needs. This has been his standard excuse for contacting me for the past 3 months since BD.

So we have been exchanging messages about meeting up to swap these OH SO important items. I guess maybe I'll see him in the next 2 weeks for that purpose. He seems to want to meet during the day, maybe to keep the interaction brief during a lunch break or maybe just because he is fully booked in the nights with his hot dating life. Who knows. Unfortunately for him I am also fully booked.

Although my ice cream flavor rantings (I am chocolate raspberry swirl with toasted almonds while he is cheap fake vanilla if you must know) have disappeared from the boards, I still have been feeling quite detached from him. I'm not so sure I still desire a reunion. I know if/when I see him I will likely feel differently. But for now I am mostly detached. It helps that I have avoided spying and also communicating with him. It helps that I have been keeping busy too.

Sometimes I think about reuniting and I feel in my gut that it could happen in the winter time. That he needs at least a few months to really check out the grass on the other side before he realizes it's not greener. I have always felt that when the summer is over and the grass dies back he will come around. Does anyone else have this same type of gut feeling? I have to say my gut is often right but how and why I do not know.

Anyway, I missed babbling to you all and I hope you are doing well! Going to check out everyone's threads now!

Hugs, Lisa

[pilot]

Glad to see you are still doing well Lisa! Yea, too bad about the green grass postings. Oh well, we will come up with some new stuff for ya. Seems your H is still not ready to let you go since he is back to his standard text/meet requests. Just keep at it and who knows what will happen by this winter.

Keep that GAL up, it seems to do well for you!

[Joe1981]

Keep having fun. It sounds like you've already made yourself the W only a fool would leave, but in case he does decide to look back, you want him to see the greenest grass possible, or the tastiest dish of ice cream, or whichever analogy you're going for this week.

My W seems to have more respect for me just based on the fact that I'm out doing something besides sitting at home every night. Darn those vets and being right. GAL is the way to go.

[Ahoy]

So glad you're doing great, Lisa! I need to follow your example and embrace this time for myself. You are an inspiration!

[LisaB]

Hi friends! Thanks for the kind words of support! Ahoy you are doing great too, so strong and independent. We all have those down moments.

Glad to hear that things are going in the positive direction for you Joe! Yipee!

Yesterday had a short text message conversation with the WAH that he initiated. A few weeks back I remember thinking "if he starts sending me funny links or photos it means he wants to impress me".

Then out of the blue he sent me a funny link.

It wasn't until later in the day that I remembered my previous thought and found it interesting. I remember when I originally had that idea I felt full of hope that one day this would be a small sign. But then when it happened I didn't really notice it.

I don't know, I am still feeling quite sad in my situation. I have not been snooping or looking at his facebook page so I have no idea what he is up to. But still it takes a lot of control not to look. And not to think about it. I guess in the grand scheme I am doing better. I don't have constant murderous thoughts about OW, just simmering hate. My life is very busy and mostly happy.

I guess I just miss ... love and sex!

I find myself thinking 50% of the time about WAH and 50% of the time about how to find a new guy. I am vaguely flirting with a few guys but nothing serious at all and I don't find them to be viable candidates anyway.

I know we have talked about this before but I just find it unfair that my H is out and about dating, having sex and falling in love with OW and others, and I am not. I don't even know why or if I want him back. I feel torn.

I'm just venting here. My real life friends of course are all about "move on" and encourage me to date others. I don't feel pressured by them but I do feel I want to date! I miss having affection, romance, flirting, attraction, sex etc etc. And I'm finding it hard to see why I should deprive myself.

I know I need to keep the focus on myself now and keep growing and bettering myself. But I'm lonely in a way. Not at all lonely for a social life or work life but for a love life.

Sigh...

Thanks for letting me vent.

Big hugs,
Lisa

[pilot]

I am with you Lisa. I miss the love life part. I miss the snuggles. The comfort of just having someone next to me in bed. The casual conversations about my/her day. I miss the sex. I miss the hand holding. I miss the lunch dates. I basically miss married life. Do I want to keep waiting around for WAW to come out of her fog? Do I want to try and start with someone new? Which will be quicker? Which will be more rewarding long term? In the past I would gravitate to an old fling to fulfill those needs. It worked. Some here will say I am unable to live without a significant other. I believe I am. I have been for a while now. It is not that I am unable, it is I just do not want to.


Like you, I find myself split between thinking about how to rebuild a M with WAW and what I would like to find in a new R with someone else.

But, if you really miss sex that bad, I can offer a cure. Talk to your girlfriends, and find out who they know that is really bad at it. Then go have it. You will yearn for your H after that!