Reminder to myself: be patient. Be focused on the things I CAN change. Listen and validate everyone I meet. Enjoy where I am. Treat myself with love. Release my expectations and make room for delightful surprises. BE HAPPY.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Maybell, you sound like you're doing great! I'm so glad that your H is in IC, and you're right to give him the emotional space. I wish I had come up with the parable about the two roads leading to the same location, but it was someone else (but I too connected with that story).
As for thanksgiving, if you can afford to be patient, do so. I just got criticized on bashy's thread for making holiday plans for myself separately. The thing is, though, I have to book expensive tickets home to see my family, so I can't afford to wait (and my father is ill). I would have waited if I could, but I don't want to pressure my H to make plans that include me, and I also don't want to end up alone over the holidays, or celebrating without him there, even though he lives nearby. Maybe I should have been more patient, but I do have to practice GAL and self care. So hard to know where to draw the line!
Wait if you can!
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
I've been returning to my post from this morning like a mantra. I'm feeling a little wobbly. The conversation Sunday night was nice, closing in on a guy I want to be married to -- not there yet, but getting there. It makes me greedy for more and better.
The thing about wanting the passionate life, though, that's aggravating me. It makes me understand that he's still getting over the stupid OW who was 90% fantasy. I'm impatient for him to understand reality. "Passionate life" makes me think of someone like Richard Branson -- and does he think that Richard Branson's life just happens to him, or does he recognize that Richard Branson makes his life happen???
The job isn't coming together as promptly as I want it to. I'm a little frustrated. I don't do well at home and I want to keep moving forward. Here's where I need to exercise a little agency of my own... and there's a part of me that's a little stuck. That has always been stuck. I don't want to be; part of my journey is learning how to overcome it. I don't want to be Richard Branson, but I do want to focus and start tackling my bucket list.
One more time for the back of the room:
Be patient. Focus on the things I CAN change. Listen and validate everyone I meet. Enjoy where I am. Treat myself with love. Release my expectations and make room for delightful surprises. BE HAPPY.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I see great change in you in just the last few weeks in that you are able to notice the times when your mind starts racing ahead and you can remind yourself of your new manifesto. You got this.
As for me, I think I had a small setback-- not keeping the road paved if I am honest with myself. Need to process that so will try to post later.
Just at this moment I want someone to say, yes, he's getting there, and yes, he remembers that he loves you passionately, and here is the path that you have left to travel till things work out to be amazing. Because he's been my best friend for 18 years and I don't want to lose my best friend.
Yes, I know, let go. I am, really. I see he has his own path, and that he really needs to walk it, because he doesn't even understand what a healthy relationship looks like at the moment, let alone how to sustain one. I really do see that. But also, I'm greedy and selfish and I miss knowing him. He is special to me. Part of the pleasure of watching my kids grow up is tracing the things about him and me in each of them. I miss reaching out to him and having him reach back.
Is he getting there? Does he miss me too?
I want him to walk his path and be well. And I want his path to lead back to me.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
