An affinity? I was married to an Asian woman for 17 years and my last gf was Filipino. There are pros and cons to dating Asians...I won't date Chinese any more unless someone really touches me in some way. I'm certainly attracted to Asian women...and there's lots of them where I live! I'm open to other cultures though.
Besides wandering the downtown taking photos...and getting assaulted by a drunken native person, I also had an appt with my psychologist. I wanted to go over my newly found break with sanity...my attempts to date. IC said that my mistake is that I believe that people are basically good and honourable like I am...many just aren't. She also said that I have the idea the these people are in touch with their feelings and when they do crappy things to me I believe they're doing it purposely. She said many people act but have no real understanding of their feelings or why they do what they do. Anyway, she said when things like my recent experience happen to her she tries to be grateful for it 'cuz it means she got spared something worse if it had of continued. Anyway, she thinks BA Lady (sorry BA I'll never use your initials with a lady again...promise!) was wanting to hurt me cuz I basically ditched her for being an insensitive boob. Who knows. She also said that I need to be careful of that part of me that starts blaming myself or feeling it happened 'cuz I wasn't good enough...and all the other bs I tell myself. We also discussed the church lady who I said I was gonna lay off of...I don't need the crap that comes from it all going bad in a little church. She agreed it would be best to be very cautious but remain friendly with the lady and see what happens. Anyway, she also told me to date Asians if I want to..."you know what you like, so go ahead and do it" I dunno. So, that was that. I think I'm cured and that slap in the head from the homeless guy, it's exactly what I needed lol!
Do you ever wonder if some of your dating issues come up because you are attracted to women of Asian decent? I know that is the type of woman you were married to, so you do get some of the cultural differences but they aren't universal across all countries of that region or families either.
Some of these women families may take issue with her dating outside of her culture/race. Then make it very difficult on her. Just saying.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Filipinos don't have that concept so dating outside your race is no problem...some Chinese do. My dating "problems" are the universal crap everyone has to deal with...I think dating brings up everyone's crazy regardless of culture. It's hard to make yourself vulnerable to someone especially if you've been through some wounds...and we've all been there. I'm just moving a day at a time...we'll see, no rush
Strange, Wii - but I've often wondered the same thing. If dating women of Asian culture is not part of the problem. It simply could be. People of different cultures sometimes have different life experiences. And I truly believe that we bond best with partners who have similar values to our own. Of course it is more than that but I would think it would be worth giving someone of a similar background to your own a chance. I wonder if you are trying to recreate your own life but doing it with someone else's lifestyle. You changed churches because you wanted to go to the same one as the woman you were dating. Maybe you need to find one that is Wii's and not one that is mostly filled with people of Asian descent. Didn't you used to go to a United church? Before you met your wife? Something to think about. Instead of "more of the same". Surprised your C didn't mention this. Barb
Barb, I'm not excluding anyone because of an attraction to certain types of women...I'm attracted to lots of people. The church I went to when I was dating SDA Lady was not Filipino and it was not her church. It was also a very ethnically diverse church but also very large. She came with me when she was able and sometimes we went to the Filipino church because that's where she went...mostly she went nowhere. The SDA church I attend now is very ethnically diverse...which is one reasons I chose it and small, the other reason I chose it. There are only a few Filipinos there. We are very small but have a very diverse group. Yes, I learned about Adventist theology when I was dating SDA Lady and it fascinated me. She used to tell people I was a better Adventist than she was. I follow it now because I believe it. It speaks to me and makes theological sense whereas the theology of other denominations doesn't. I do not believe in a hell where people suffer for eternity, I believe Sabbath is Saturday...it is one of the Ten Commandments, I do not believe that when we die we go directly to heaven or hell. I believe in the Adventist health message which includes a strong promotion of vegetarianism, I believe Ellen G White was a prophet...I could go on but you get the idea. And yes, there are differences in cultures that can be an issue in relationships but it can also be something that is exciting for both partners. As I said, I'm in no hurry and am open...just not liking how the game is played these days lol.
