Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
B
Bob1967 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
My wife knows how I feel about the dog. He is the only thing I asked for when I drew up the separation agreement.

I love him more than she does. She admits this.

When I moved out last year she offered to give me the dog. She said I loved him more than she did.

I almost took the dog but realized I didn't have the resources to care for him (at that time). So I left the dog with her.

Now she won't even consider it.

You tell me--How petty is this?

By the way, she still hasn't responded to the separation papers I sent weeks ago.

Last week I send my wife the following email:

Me: I have attached the word documents to correspond with the documents I sent. Could you please forward my mail. If you send it COD that is fine. If you need any help around the house let me know.

Her response? Nothing.

But on Sunday she "liked" a photo a friend posted of me on facebook at the football game.

I have been extremely civil.

At this point she needs to make a gesture.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
What does all that have to do with you getting your need to see the dog met? Sound like you're holding on to a lot of resentment.

I get that you're angry and you're hurt and you're interpreting everything she's doing through that lens.

But you're here because you want to save your M. She's isn't here to save the M. You can only control you. You can only change you.

Maybe with you gone, she and the dog have formed an attachment. It happened with me and our family dog when H left. The amount of companionship I got from him surprised even me. He died just one year ago and I still miss him.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
You and your W really do have a bad communication problem. Yes, she should know you want to see him. Maybe she is waiting to see if you will ask, IDK. What is holding you back? Pride? Stubbornness? An invitation?

If I were in your shoes, it would be a problem for me too, b/c I have to battle the same kind of pride & stubbornness. However, I can tell you that you can't afford to have either one right now. Not if you want a reconciliation. Your side of the story makes sense to me, but if she told her side.....maybe hers would too.

With the communication being a problem, I wouldn't take chances.....if you want a R.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Quote:
He died just one year ago and I still miss him.


The dog, not H.


Last edited by labug; 09/02/14 03:31 PM.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
B
Bob1967 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
I'm starting to think I don't want a reconciliation.

I've been on my own for a while now. It's peaceful.

I've drafted the settlement and realized I don't mind giving up the "stuff."

I can start over.

My friends and family support this decision.

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,077
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,077
Ask yourself if it's because it's easier to walk away than it is to work on it.


M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
There is ALOT of mindreading on your part. Sandi is right. You two really need to work on your communication.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
B
Bob1967 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
It is easier to walk away. I don't like the stress.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Good luck.

But what about your next R?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
B
Bob1967 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
I don't see myself in another relationship again.

Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard